"The Tie Army Wants YOU"

[Scouty]

Awa....y....you fowl demon!!! AWAY I SAY!!! *Explosion*........ 8-| ...eeeeeeh, I'll...just..go over there...*run*. Well, I'm safe now. Now there is something I'm forget....oh yeah! The Rebel Jedimas party! Darn I'll be away. What's that over there? Eeep, Tie Bombers. Better take cover...

[Starwars4J]

Admiral 4J to Lord *vader* :

My Lord, my TIE bomber squadrons leveled the rebel base on Kashyyyk. Following that, two waves of AT-PTs and AT-RTs took over the base. We captured three high-ranking rebels who told me some valuable information. It will indeed be a Merry Sithmas for the Empire!

I also picked up seven hundred wookiee pelts as well. Ah, such good slave labor wasted like that! It's a good thing there are so many more...

[Zarkan]

Unfortunately for you, 4J, a large rebel fleet lead by me attacked the Tie bomber squads as they came back up and totally eliminated them, as well as a lot of the tie fighters, and most of the imperial landing crafts. Your fleet was looking pretty bare bones by the time you fled though hyperspace! ;-)

Oh, look, a remaint! Looks like you forgot a couple of tie fighters when you left! Oh well, time for them to meet their maker!

Bambambam BOOM!!!!

Done. :-P Oh, it will be a very merry Jedimas for me and all the rebels back at base, indeed! Let's get back to base, guys. ;-)

Grevious, over and out.

[Vader]

Lord *vader* to Rebel Grevious.............

I knew this attack would draw you out............. You have fallen into my trap rebel...........

Not only is my personal Super Star Destroyer here destroying your little fleet but i myself are on your rebel rear in my Tie............

BOOM!!!!! Hahahaha......... There goes your little deflector sheild rebel.............

Now feel the power of the dark side...............

Lord *vader* to Admiral 4J..............

This foolish rebel is in my sights.......... He will not escape me this time..............

Now Admiral destroy the rest of the fleet along with my SSD whilst i take care of this would be jedi..........

*vader*

[Zarkan]

Um, I said over and out. Whoever you are attacking obviously isn't us, since we are in hyperspace.

Oh, yes, now I can see what happened. Just before we made the leap to hyperspace, we detected a large fleet of ships owned by Jabba the Hutt coming give us some pain (from what I've heard, Hutt aparrently hates me. I think it's because of the raids the Jedi of the Clone Wars made to get rid of all the crime lords). It's too bad he missed us by a inch, and too bad that his ships are now undergoing an attack by you that was meant for me. X-D

Ah, here we go. Out of hyperspace, and there's our base. Time to enjoy some hot cocca and some merry celebrating.... ;-)

*vader* NO REBEL IT IS YOU.............. FEEL THE POWER OF THE DARKSIDE..........

YOUR LIES ABOUT ALWAYS BEING SOMEWHERE ELSE ARE OVER.............

THE POWER OF THE DARKSIDE CAN BE USED IN MANY WAYS INCLUDING MAKING THE WEAK MINDED SEE WHAT THEY WANT TO SEE AND NOT WHATS REALLY HAPPENING...........

THERE WILL BE NO HYPERSPACE ESCAPE FOR YOU THIS TIME............

NOW YOU WILL BE DESTROYED.................

*vader*

[Vader]

Only now rebel do you see the power that the darkside gives me...................

You have tried your best and failed............

Your friends have all left you and without them you have no chance of escape..............

*vader*

[Scouty]

Chibbi tak, ta ta. Tib too tak. Chi ra, pa roo fa. No no, chi chi. Chibbi tak. Terg hi. Apo pi to ta. Rikki ti ta. No, na wer tip top. Wanga, recka tabba. Ciao..........................that was an odd species...and language.

[Zarkan]

Vader, my fleet would never leave me. And they didn't. I am currently enjoying some hot cocca and biscuts in the Rebel mess hall, and the whole fleet is singing some happy carols to celebrate our escape.

Oh, we wish you a mery Sithmas,,

We wish you a merry Sithmas,

We wish you a merry Sithmas,,

And a happy Sith year!

Enjoy your Sithmas, Vader.

I will rebel.........I will..............

*vader*

[Vader]

Rebel you believe what i want you to........... Behold the true issue of the Galactic Preserver.........

Your mind is weak......... And i shall enjoy this.............

*vader*

[Scouty]

Only a c-c-c-couple d-d-d-days t-t-till J-j-j-j-jedimas. Brrrrr, it's cold. I don't have any money and a ship. I'll just, do with what I have, and have my JediMas here...

OOC: Merry Christmas all!!! Imperialscouts will not be on Christmas Eve or Christmas or the following week. Well, maybe he will stop by a little. Hehee!!!

[Zarkan]

Oh please Vader. That so called "true issue" you have has several major errors:

1. It says "Written by the former staff of the Empire who escaped their scumy hands!" So, why then are they proclaiming you in this so called issue? You have no influence over them anymore. They are with us the rebels now, and you in no way have enought power to control them all over such a long distance.

2. It says "Protecting the rights of citizens from the EVIL empire." So, again, why are they proclaiming you?

3. This "issue" claims I am a gungan. But isn't this the same paper who on Issue 2 exposed your hoax about my species and reported that I was a human? Yes, it was.

4. The Preserver never prints in that cruddy, low quality format.

Don't try to fool me with this lame excuse for an issue. You won't convince me with chop job fake, Vader. ;-)

Now, then, back to my carolling. :-)

Jingle bells,

The Emperor smells,

Vader layed an egg!

A crummy TIE fell from the sky,

And the rebels got away!

X-D

[The Kid]

Wannabe-Jedi Grievous looked out

of his bedroom window

silly gungan he fell out

on a red hot cinder

Brightly shone his butt that night...

*sing*

[Scouty]

*sing* *sing*

-On the first day of Jedimas, my true love gave to me...A holographic transmitter.

-On the second day of Jedimas, my true love gave to me...Two blaster holsters, and a holographic transmitter.

-On the third day of Jedimas, my true love gave to me...Three pretty credits, two blaster holsters, and a holographic transmitter.

-On the fourth day of Jedimas, my true love gave to me...Four shiny blasters, three pretty credits, two blaster holsters, and a holographic transmitter.

-On the fifth day of Jedimas, my true love gave to me...Five dancing gungans, four shiny blasters, three pretty credits, two blaster holsters, and a holographic transmitter.

-On the sixth day of Jedimas, my true love gave to me...Six working rebels, five dancing gungans, four shiny blasters, three pretty credits, two blaster holsters, and a holographic transmitter.

-On the seventh day of Jedimas, my true love gave to me...Seven TIE fighters, six working rebels, five dancing gungans, four shiny blasters, three pretty credits, two blaster holsters, and a holographic transmitter.

-On the eight day of Jedimas, my true love gave to me...Eight lightsabers, seven TIE fighters, six working rebels, five dancing gungans, four shiny blasters, three pretty credits, two blaster holsters, and a holographic transmitter.

-On the ninth day of Jedimas, my true love gave to me...Nine Bounty hunters, eight lightsabers, seven TIE fighters, six working rebels, five dancing gungans, four shiny blasters, three pretty credits, two blaster holsters, and a holographic transmitter.

-On the tenth day of Jedimas, my true love gave to me...Ten AT-ATs, nine Bounty hunters, eight lightsabers, seven TIE fighters, six working rebels, five dancing gungans, four shiny blasters, three pretty credits, two blaster holsters, and a holographic transmitter.

-On the eleventh day of Jedimas, my true love gave to me...Eleven Jedi masters, ten AT-ATs, nine Bounty hunters, eight lightsabers, seven TIE fighters, six working rebels, five dancing gungans, four shiny blasters, three pretty credits, two blaster holsters, and a holographic transmitter.

-On the twelth day of Jedimas, my true love gave to me...Twelve Stormtroopers, eleven Jedi masters, ten AT-ATs, nine Bounty hunters, eight lightsabers, seven TIE fighters, six working rebels, five dancing gungans, four shiny blasters, three pretty credits, two blaster holsters, and a holographic transmitter.

Merry (Christmas) Jedimas!!!!!

[Starwars4J]

Admiral 4J to Lord *vader* :

My Lord, we have arrived out of our long journey in Hyperspace and intercepted a Rebel transport. It contained their newest stolen fighters from the Incom Corporation. Why the idiots didn't fly them as opposed to transporting them, we shall never know. Regardless, I have a nice Sithmas Present for you.

[Vader]

Lord *vader* to Admiral 4J...........

Excellent Admiral.......... You have done well yet again.......... Those rebel fools never do the logical thing.....

Take the rebel Grevious for instance....... He spent far to much time fooling himself into thinking that i wasnt right behind him when he should of been calling for help..........

Hmmmmm anyway the rebel escaped when a few of his rebel friends turned up to help him......

Next time he wont be so lucky..........

*vader*

[2323]

Lord Vader, I the commander of the Blisk Fleet pledge my men at your command.

I hope to rid the galaxy of all rebel scum and corruption.

What is my mission, My Lord??

[Scouty]

Errrr...ugh. Hey!! My ship!.....It works perfectly! Alright, lets go back.

[Vader]

Lord *vader* to Empire.................

Well Sithmas is over so its time for all members of the Empire to report in.................

What is your current location?.................

*vader*

[Starwars4J]

Admiral 4J to Lord *vader* :

I'm currently in the Outer Rim. I'm negotiating with a species I was not previously familiar with. They call themselves Chiss, and appear with blue skin, and eyes that seen to glow red. I've also observed nothing but jet black hair. One of their rank is especially interesting to me. I think you might enjoy meeting him. I'll include all information and coordinates in the attachment.

[Scouty]

Alright, let's take off.....*Take off*...good...no, no, no. *fall*. Darn. It failed. Hmmm, let's go back to the village. Maybe see...some, uh-oh. Imperials. That isn't good.

[Vader]

Lord *vader* to Admiral 4J............

The Chiss?......... Hmmm it seems that our databanks have very little information on them..............

I look forward to reading your report on them..............

The rebel dogs have gone to ground again i see............. No doubt they will attempt to undermine the Emperor...........

Perhaps its time to offer a bounty for there capture once again.............

*vader*

[Starwars4J]

Admiral 4J to Lord *vader*:

Enclosed is my report on the species that refers to themselves as the Chiss:

Designation: Sentient

Homeworld: Csilla

Average Height: 1.7 meters

With blue skin, jet-black hair, and glowing red eyes, the Chiss would command attention in a group of other humanoids. Their skin and eye colors are to due a chemical reaction to an oxygen atmosphere, and the more oxygen contained in the air they breathe, the greater the intensity of these two features. In addition, the evolved changes to their eyes have given the Chiss superior visual acuity, even in low-light conditions. Occasionally their black hair will gray with age, especially in females. This is considered a mark of distinction in their culture; among Chiss, it is felt that the child of a parent possessing gray hair will greatly affect society. Other than their distinctive eye and skin color, there is little else to differentiate them physically from standard humans.

The Chiss are typically attractive, intelligent, and private people, and so protective of their society that they have managed to keep their species' existence largely secret from the rest of the galaxy. This isolationism makes it difficult to form conclusive statements about the Chiss. For instance, it is believed that they do not experience an adolescent stage of life, but advance quickly to full maturity. However, this may be a result of societal and cultural influences and demands rather than physical growth, or some combination thereof.

It is also believed that the Chiss are descended from an ancient human colony founded in an age predating the Old Republic. However, they are sufficiently different from humans to be considered an independent species, as is the case with the Zeltrons. The Chiss are highly evolved, taking great interest in art and science, and maintain a powerful military. In many accounts, they are described as pensive--contemplative, deliberate, and calculating--studying situations from every viewpoint and considering all the alternatives when making a decision.

The Chiss control more than two dozen systems surrounding their homeworld of Csilla, in a political federation known as the Chiss Ascendancy. Their society is regimented, inflexible, and strangely xenophobic, and their colonization and control of neighboring worlds was evidently achieved not for want of power or riches, but instead to establish order over chaotic elements that could ultimately pose a threat to them. Indeed, the Chiss are generally a peaceful species, but when attacked, they fight with efficient, well-planned strategies, and they do not give up the battle until their opponents are destroyed or subjugated. Most, if not all, of the systems they conquered were defeated after their respective leaders attacked the Chiss, as it is against the law for Chiss to engage in preemptive strikes.

The Chiss have no known Force traditions. Statistically speaking, it is unlikely that Force sensitivity is so rare among an entire species once evidence of its existence has been demonstrated (one Dark Jedi was rumored to have lived--Sev'rabce Tann), especially in a species so biologically similar to the most widespread Force-users, humans. However one can hypothesize that Chiss practicecs and beliefs may have led to such a lack of Force traditions and known Force-users. As the Chiss believe that aggression against a potential enemy is forbidden until that enemy has launched an attack, the power bestowed by Force-sensitivity may be considered too great a temptation. Thus, hypothetically, if there are unrecorded Force-users among the Chiss, they may work to keep their talents a secret. One's family is a paramount concern for the Chiss, and a Chiss Force-user may fear bringing shame on them--or worse, exile. A public prohibition against disclosing one's talents in the Force may be so strong that unless Chiss are Force-sensitive themselves, they are unaware the Force exists.

Chiss society is directed by fuling "families" that are not necessarily indicative of bloodline so much as function, and each family is its own brance of the Chiss government or society. Although details are unclear, reports are that the number of ruling families has fluctuated somewhere between three and twelve. Some facts have also been discovered regarding four of the families. The Nuruodo family controls the military and foreign affairs, and the Csapla family administers the use of the Ascendancy's natural and agricultural resources and manages colonial issues. The Sabosen supervise education, justice, and public health, while the Inrokini direct business, communications, civilian technologies, and the sciences.

One difficulty in uncovering further details on the culture of the Chiss is their incredibly complex language, Cheunh, which is one of the most intricate and indecipherable of all humanoid dialects in the galaxy. It is theorized that the Chiss prefer it that way, as this complexity makes it that much harder for outsiders to learn about them.

There is report that one of the Nuruodo family's own was recently banished due to a preemptive strike on an enemy. He goes by the name of Thrawn, and is said to be their greatest tactician. What would you have me do, my Lord?

[Scouty]

Hey! A radio! Yes, it works! Let's see here, can I get the Rebels...yes! Hello!? Hello! Is anybody there?...Good, track this message to a planet that is unknown. Infact, please send me two squads of my infantry, I believe the Imperials may have some dealings here, I have seen alot of activity going on with very high security going on. Reporting out.

[2323]

Lord Vader, I the commander of the Blisk Fleet pledge my men at your command.

I hope to rid the galaxy of all rebel scum and corruption.

What is my mission, My Lord??

[Vader]

Lord Vader, I the commander of the Blisk Fleet pledge my men at your command.

I hope to rid the galaxy of all rebel scum and corruption.

What is my mission, My Lord??

Lord *vader* to Admiral 4J..............

Admiral we have picked up a strange transmission...... It claims to be from someone in command of a fleet....

Our sources tell me that there is no such fleet in the empire.........

Therefore it must be a rebel trick.........

This so called commander also concerns me..............

I shall investagate further..... In the meantime pull your fleet back to the Death Star.......

I may need you to guard the Death Star........ I shall also study your report further.........

It seems these species will require further investagation........

*vader*