Adair Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 (edited) The sun filtered into the hall in silence, creating patches of colored light where the stained glass windows shone. Nasr's footsteps echoed through the hall, mingling with the muttered prayers of the one worshiper in the temple at the time. The two Mummy guards stood at rigid attention. Not every day did the Commander of Operations in the area north of the Nestlands come to their jurisdiction, this lonely shrine. But now he was striding next to Nasr, one of the few men Nasr knew who could keep pace with him. The man's deep, alert brown eyes turned, fixing their gaze on Nasr's battle-hardened, black ones. He stared at him thoughtfully for a few seconds before speaking. “I hear you performed well at the Duels. It is a pity you were eliminated.” Nasr inclined his head, taking the compliment on face value. The man continued. “And now that your leg hampers your athletic capabilities we must find a position of command for you. To tell you the truth, I would have liked it if you were here to replace me, these bird worshiping jungle dwellers are giving us quite a hassle, and we can never seem to completely eliminate them... but it was not to be.” Nasr's face didn't change expression. “What are my orders?” “Ah, orders...” A wry smile passed over the man's face and his eyes passed beyond Nasr for a few seconds. The worshiper's servant, one of those cat-creatures from Ulandus, shuffled his feet uncomfortably, waiting for his master. The man's eyes refocused on Nasr. “A certain High Council Guerrilla band has been paining me recently. They are few in number, but have the support of the natives. Your job is to hunt them down and kill every last one of them... except their leader. I want him alive.” The man back toward the door and restarted his stride toward the door. “You will be given half a score elite assassins and anti-Guerrilla experts. That is all I can spare at the moment.” Nasr nodded. 'Only ten men, against a complete Guerrilla force... Pretty good odds.' A grunt sounded behind them and Nasr spun around to see one of the mummy guards topple to the ground, and arrow shaft protruding from his neck. A bang echoed through the hall and Nasr turned to see a group of High Council archers rush through the door on the far end of the building, arrow on string. At their head strode a mummy dressed in the red and blue of the High Council and wielding a black longsword. Nasr heard a gasp of recognition to his left and there was the sound of steel scraping against steel as he and the Commander drew their swords. The Mummy behind Nasr growled and started toward the intruders only to drop to the floor with an arrow in his chest. The leader of the Archers glanced at him then turned his gaze toward the Commander. “I would suggest that you and your crony drop your weapons, unless you wish to become a storage unit for my company's arrows.” Seething hatred boiled up inside of Nasr at the name. 'When was I ever this man's crony!?!' But the sight of the half dozen arrow shafts aimed at his neck spoke for themselves and Nasr slowly let his blade drop to the floor. The sword clanged loudly on the flagstone floor, shortly followed by another to his left. The worshiper's servant dropped a long dagger he had drawn. The Mummy Commander Fixed his gaze on the Commander, waiting a few seconds before speaking. “A pleasure to see you, Ramir. Last time we met you appointed me commander of a small watchtower near Everlast. Remember?” “I remember.” Commander Ramir said, through clenched teeth. “That tower, along with all the surrounding land,” the Mummy continued, “is now in the hands of the High Council. And now, I believe, you are too.” Nasr took a step back. “You won't get away with this, traitor!” Ramir yelled. Nasr took another step back. “You are mistaken, in both respects.” The Mummy responded. “For one, I am no traitor. 'I' was never on your side in the first place. Secondly, I will get away with this, because you are coming with me.” Nasr took another step back and felt for something behind him. His hand met a pillar and he quickly ducked behind it. He glanced around him, searching for a weapon. His eyes lit upon the small stone pedestal upon which some sacred jewel was placed. 'Perfect'. “You betrayed our trust!” Ramir shouted. “Trust is only as strong as the thing in which it is placed.” The Mummy responded. Nasr leaped out into the open and hefted the pedestal, letting the jewel fall clinking to the ground. The archers spun towards him, but not soon enough. Taking a few running steps forward, Nasr hefted the pedestal toward the High Council archers, aiming specifically for their commander. The Mummy turned, and his eyes focused on the object flying toward him. Reflexes kicked in and he leaped out of the way, just as the pedestal smashed into the floor past him, almost hitting one of the archers, and demolishing his Longbow. Nasr didn't wait for them to react. Ignoring the pain coming from his leg Nasr sprinted toward the open door, closely followed by the worshiper’s cat servant. Ramir hesitated a moment, still trying to comprehend what happened, then started after them. An arrow whizzed over Nasr's head and he redoubled his pace. There was a yell from behind him but Nasr didn't bother to look. He had been given an assignment. Not even the man that gave it to him would stop him from carrying it out now. The build. I was experimenting with a different style of stonework, (having only patches of greebles, along with patches of olive green for moss) and a raised part of the floor. I also tried stained glass again, and I think I was slightly more successful this time. The chandelier is new design for me as well. 'nother Pic. Anyhow, another LOM convertible, that happened to be directed against the Desert King (heavens knows we need it). Hope you enjoyed the story. And also; you are correct if you drew a distinction between the Ramir fig and Disco's character. I was originally planning on making this a counter-guerrilla to his attack on Eastgate, until I found out about the size limit. (Dang it!). In any case, hopefully this will do. And also: since there seemed to be some confusion about how to counter my previous Guerrillas, I will set out a few possibilities. 1. Recapture the Commander. 2. Show a capable replacement. 3. Destroy the whole building with them in it and take the title for yourself. Anyway, as long as you don't kill any of my characters, you can do pretty much anything with them. Soli Deo Gloria & Sola Gracia! I would like to claim UoP credit for: Stained Glass (Mosaics, stained glass, or other complex SNOTed floors designs). Edited March 31, 2015 by Adair Quote
Adair Posted March 31, 2015 Author Posted March 31, 2015 @Skaforhire: I just noticed that F15 is a city-square. Is it ok if I change this Guerrilla to C15 instead? Quote
gedren_y Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 (edited) UoP DoH +1 <snip> Ninjaed by your change. Edited March 31, 2015 by gedren_y Quote
Adair Posted March 31, 2015 Author Posted March 31, 2015 UoP DoH +1 <snip> Ninjaed by your change. Well, unless you want to do a Guerrilla there as well... Thanks for the +1! Quote
gedren_y Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 (edited) I was planning a small guerrilla build in the C range as it is near Sdair's current location. This is good. Edited March 31, 2015 by gedren_y Quote
Graham Gidman Posted March 31, 2015 Posted March 31, 2015 Wow, this is a really great build, Adair! Quote
Adair Posted March 31, 2015 Author Posted March 31, 2015 I was planning a small guerrilla build in the C range as it is near Sdair's current location. This is good. I meant F15, if you wanted to retake at least the area around your holdings, but this could work. Wow, this is a really great build, Adair! Thank you! The LOM version will be better! Quote
LittleJohn Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 Very nice build! I like how the base is circular Quote
Adair Posted April 1, 2015 Author Posted April 1, 2015 Nice build! Very nice build! I like how the base is circular Nice build! [ quote name='Everyone' ] Nice build! [ quote ] Thanks! Quote
Robin Creations Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 Nice! It's hard to get smooth walls with only a few greebles to look good, but you succeeded Quote
Captain Braunsfeld Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 Fine build, great floor. great story. Quote
Emma Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 Great story - I really like how the walls turned out with the mix of textures & colours. Quote
Brick Man Studios Posted April 1, 2015 Posted April 1, 2015 I agree with all.... it's awesome ! Quote
Adair Posted April 1, 2015 Author Posted April 1, 2015 Nice! It's hard to get smooth walls with only a few greebles to look good, but you succeeded Thank you! I got the inspiration from Professor B. on Mocpages, who does a better job then I do. Fine build, great floor. great story. Thank you! I wasn't able to get much characterization into this one, but hopefully the writing made up for it! Great story and nice build! Thank you! Very nice build, the circular base is great! Thank you! It took up all my light bleh masonry bricks... Great story - I really like how the walls turned out with the mix of textures & colours. Thank you! Glad you like it! I agree with all.... it's awesome ! Glad you like it! Great build Adair Thank you Joel! I'll try to make it less messy next time. Quote
Gideon Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 Very nice interior, UoP +1 for the stained glass Only nitpick is that it would have looked better if you covered the gaps in the walls from behind so that less light would have leaked through in the wrong places. Quote
MassEditor Posted April 2, 2015 Posted April 2, 2015 (edited) Fantastic interior build! I'm somewhat partial to these massive interior scenes myself, so I always love to see others. The rounded base looks sweet as does that dark grey mottling across the walls. The pillars and little shrine are great touches as well. The chandeliers look cool too, if not a tad bit dangerous! I really like what you did with the stained glass, but if I can nitpick for a second, it seems somewhat out of place. Between the broken floor, the worn stonework and the moss growing on the walls, this looks like it was a really old building and that its stained glass would have been stolen/busted long ago. I also enjoyed the action-filled story, but I had trouble keeping track of who was who as I read it. My suggestion, for future story-intensive builds like this, is to introduce the characters one at a time within the first few scenes of the story. Or when you want to introduce multiple characters at the same time, as in the story above, try a little more camera work. Have one character talk, and take a picture with her/him being the only visible face, or at least the only one in sharp focus. Then take a picture of the listener when she/he talks, again being the only one in focus/visible. That way you've established the look of each character, and the reader has it straight as they read the rest of the story. In any case, another great build from you, this will make for a challenging counter no doubt! I had better examples of illustrating dialogue-heavy story MOCs with lots of characters, but I deleted many of the pics from Flickr to tidy up my photostream. Here is one however that may show what I'm talking about: The Forgotten Monastery Edited April 2, 2015 by MassEditor Quote
Adair Posted April 2, 2015 Author Posted April 2, 2015 Very nice interior, UoP +1 for the stained glass Only nitpick is that it would have looked better if you covered the gaps in the walls from behind so that less light would have leaked through in the wrong places. Thank you! And yes, I would agree with you, though that would have been a hassle to accomplish. Fantastic interior build! I'm somewhat partial to these massive interior scenes myself, so I always love to see others. The rounded base looks sweet as does that dark grey mottling across the walls. The pillars and little shrine are great touches as well. The chandeliers look cool too, if not a tad bit dangerous! I really like what you did with the stained glass, but if I can nitpick for a second, it seems somewhat out of place. Between the broken floor, the worn stonework and the moss growing on the walls, this looks like it was a really old building and that its stained glass would have been stolen/busted long ago. I also enjoyed the action-filled story, but I had trouble keeping track of who was who as I read it. My suggestion, for future story-intensive builds like this, is to introduce the characters one at a time within the first few scenes of the story. Or when you want to introduce multiple characters at the same time, as in the story above, try a little more camera work. Have one character talk, and take a picture with her/him being the only visible face, or at least the only one in sharp focus. Then take a picture of the listener when she/he talks, again being the only one in focus/visible. That way you've established the look of each character, and the reader has it straight as they read the rest of the story. In any case, another great build from you, this will make for a challenging counter no doubt! I had better examples of illustrating dialogue-heavy story MOCs with lots of characters, but I deleted many of the pics from Flickr to tidy up my photostream. Here is one however that may show what I'm talking about: The Forgotten Monastery Thank you! I never would have thought of making a cracked stained glass window, so thank you! As to what you say of the story, the action did feel rather forced, I agree, since I was trying to find a way to contribute to the war effort. If I could have shown The Mummy character's switch any other way I think I might have tried it, but as it was... and as to your suggestion on more Pics and the such... well, I'll try next time, despite my dislike of Picture taking. Oh, and I'm jealous of your dk. brown collection. Quote
soccerkid6 Posted April 5, 2015 Posted April 5, 2015 Impressive interior, the round design looks very good The buttresses are a nice touch as well. It would be nice to see a picture of the entire build, as is, the top bit is cut off Quote
Adair Posted April 6, 2015 Author Posted April 6, 2015 Impressive interior, the round design looks very good The buttresses are a nice touch as well. It would be nice to see a picture of the entire build, as is, the top bit is cut off Thank you! I had some tissue paper balancing on the top, to provide the lighting.... not to mention that was my worst stonework, up there. Quote
Blufiji Posted April 7, 2015 Posted April 7, 2015 Great build. The floor is really well done and the overall feel of the build really fits the story. I also enjoyed the stain glass windows. I however, echo Gideon's sentiments in that some cheese slopes would really make the floor complete. Great build, it'll be hard to counter. Quote
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.