[SR - FB2] Arrival at Bastion

[pombe]

Here we are finally! Welcome to our new home of Bastion!

And who be ye? Ye dun look like a Sea Rat!

Look everyone! This must be one of those ruffian scoundrel types I've read about in the brochures! Ah, but where are my manners? I am Ethylene Glycol, professor of science; and these are my students. This here is Lucy Liu, my senior graduate student. Don't mess with her, because she's Asian and knows martial arts. That and she's a bitter sixth year student who doesn't have enough papers to graduate.

That wasn't a racist introduction at all. Besides, whose fault is it that none of my projects had interesting results?! And why did we even leave Corrington in the first place, Professor I-Lost-All-My-Funding-And-Had-To-Leave-The-University?! And what the hell is an Asian?! Do you see a place called Asia on this map?!

I told you she was bitter. This here is "Motorboat" Peacock. People assume he is nicknamed after a seafaring vessel that has not been invented yet, but in fact, he is nicknamed after a thing he does with his mouth which is named after a seafaring vessel that has not been invented yet. For some reason, he is very popular with the ladies.

BbbrrrrrrrrrrrrBbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrBBRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

And this is my newest student, Alois Bieber. He was a former Oleon soldier who had attended a seminar of mine to protest science, but instead got enlightened by my lecture and has since become an evangelist for science.

FOR GREAT SCIENCE!!!

Erm...hi. My name is NPC143.

Oh, my poor soul. You are one of those non-player characters. Maybe if you try really hard, you will eventually become significant enough to have a name of your own in this story.

<sniff> I just want to be a real boy!

Don't we all? Anyways, we are here to establish a new university of higher learning here at Bastion! One unfettered by the idiotic scientific rigors that those Corrington stick-up-their-arses seem to adhere to with all the fanaticism of the Oleon religious zealots.

You mean like replicating experiments to ensure that the results are reproducible and statistically significant?

Gobbledygook! A single observable event is all that's required! Afterall, if it's not true, then why was it observed in the first place?

Or like writing transparent Materials and Methods so that others can follow how one did an experiment and reproduce it if necessary?

And give away my precious secrets?! Nonsense! They are lucky enough that I don't write my manuscripts in code, as it is.

Um...okay. You there. You look tough, how did you lose your eye?

I was in the laboratory one day performing an acid-base titration when my fiance barges in and throws my experiment in my face! She apparently had learned of a tryst I was having with my undergraduate assistant. You could say that she blinded me with science! Ha ha!

Science giveth, but science can also taketh....

I'm sorry I asked.

Oh, look at the time! We must be off! It's been a pleasure, I hope we'll meet again...er...NPC297.

That's NPC143.

Sure, whatever. Toodles!

[blackdeathgr]

Seriously this is a totally hilarious MOC!!! I even copy-pasted this link to our LUG's forum!! Way to go Pombe!

[Captain Dee]

Ah... so you're taking advantage of the intro as a freebuild. This has to be the funniest intro yet, but it's also built pretty good to match. I suppose it's all a sign of things to come!

[TitusV]

Had already seen it, but this stays fantastic!

[Puvel]

Hehe excellent story, I like those waves too

[Bregir]

Nice looking rockwork and waves there, but as others have said, it is really the story that steals the show. I am most amused!