TheBeeze Posted May 26, 2016 Posted May 26, 2016 (edited) Tatooine Discovery- A desolate village on Tatooine which is engulfed in junk dealers and moisture farmers draws the suspicious and watchful eye of the Empire due to a new Storm Trooper looking to make a difference in the galaxy...... Sergeant Reik: Where the hell is this kid? Major Plumho: Relax Sergeant, this is his first assignment. Do you remember your first assignment? Out there feeling like you alone would crush the rebellion? Sergeant Reik: Yes Major, but I never WENT ALONE! This kid has a real pair on him. Major Plumho: Well, lets just hope he's not wasting our time out here with the radio call. An Hour Earlier TheBeeze: I'm out in this town... Day 1 on the job... And I'm already seeing things I don't like. I'm in the middle of a Junk Dealer Alley and I see this building. More Sophisticated than all the others. Reinforced Door. Long Range Comms Gear Mounted on the Roof. I'm gonna call this in for backup and poke around a little more on my own. Random Pilot: Hey Trooper! Come over here. Random Pilot: What brings you to these parts? Quiet little remote town like this never sees any Imperials. TheBeeze: How about I ask the questions here... What brings a pilot like yourself to a remote junk dealing town in the middle of nowhere, miles from any spaceport? Random Pilot: Ahhh very perceptive. Well my ship broke down on a run about 3 miles north of here. I'm trying to scrounge a compressor to get it going. TheBeeze: Why didn't you report the damaged aircraft? I have not been notified of any damaged aircraft in my sector. Random Pilot: My comms are not working either (Looking passed the Storm Trooper to see Two Mounted Storm Troopers arriving) Sergeant Reik: Storm Trooper, Report! Random Pilot: Looks like you better get moving. *Chuckling* TheBeeze: You Wait Right Here, I'm not done with you. (As he turns and walks away) Major Plumho: Trooper is this the building you reported? TheBeeze: Yes Major I think it ha.. Major Plumho: Sergeant Reik Escort the rookie inside this structure and check it out! I'll pull security. Sergeant Reik: Roger! Sergeant Reik: Major, we've got something here! Major Plumho: What is it Sergeant? Sergeant Reik: It looks like this is a Rebel Weapons Cache and Intel Relay Station. They've been spying on our Sector! Major Plumho: Sergeant! Get out here! Gamorrean: It is not safe for you here. Sergeant Reik: Creature! Be careful what you say or we'll make the world less safe for you. Gamorrean: Rebels come and go from this building quite frequently. They maintain a small base a short distance from here in hill pass. They are probably watching you right now. TheBeeze: The Pilot! I knew something was wrong with him. Major, I was interrogating a pilot just before you arrived. His story did not check out. Major Plumho: Lets move away from here and call this in. Before Dark Sets in. Major Plumho: Good Job kid. Command is going to detach an element and we're going to hit that Pass to clear it out. Sergeant Reik: You better be ready for this. TheBeeze: Thank you Major. Sergeant, I will be ready. Major Plumho: I see you picked up one of those E11s Rifles from the rebels, you're going to need it. And do us a favor, clean your uniform. Dark Sets In as the Dewbacks Depart TheBeeze: Well Day 1 and I uncovered a rebel plot and picked up a new accurate blaster. I think our scouts carry these. Maybe some day.... Well, better head back and get ready for this battle. Back in Town a Faint, almost incoherent voice whispers into a Commlink Jawa: They are sending a detachment your way. Can a Mod please change the name of the topic to- [soNE Freebuild]- A Tatooine Discovery. Thank you. Edited May 26, 2016 by Thebeeze111 Quote
MKJoshA Posted May 26, 2016 Posted May 26, 2016 Changed the title for you. I love your story! You really drew me into the minds of these troopers. I'm looking forward to reading future stories from you! You builds are also good, but they have a slightly unfinished feel to them. If you don't have enough tiles to cover up the surfaces, then I would suggest adding more junk and clutter around to give it a more finished feel. Quote
Merc4Hire Posted May 26, 2016 Posted May 26, 2016 (edited) Very nice story set-up and I like the village layout design. I also like how you portrayed the stormtroopers. Edited May 26, 2016 by Merc4Hire Quote
TheBeeze Posted May 26, 2016 Author Posted May 26, 2016 (edited) You builds are also good, but they have a slightly unfinished feel to them. If you don't have enough tiles to cover up the surfaces, then I would suggest adding more junk and clutter around to give it a more finished feel. Josh thanks for the change and advice. The unfinished look was actually kind of my goal. It's a run down junk spot in the middle of nowhere. I suppose more junk would have been appropriate, but I didn't wanna crowd the space either. Will adjust for the next one if we return to a town. Thank you! Edited May 26, 2016 by Thebeeze111 Quote
Puvel Posted May 27, 2016 Posted May 27, 2016 (edited) I agree, great story! Congrats on your first successful mission. Maybe the buildings could be a bit taller, but they look good. Especially like that interior of the coms room. Excellent posing of the stormies too btw Edited May 27, 2016 by Puvel Quote
Junior Shark Posted May 28, 2016 Posted May 28, 2016 Neat build and awesome story. Nice to see we have such a consistent builder for the Empire. Quote
Shadows of Nar Eurbrikka Posted June 22, 2016 Posted June 22, 2016 Judges have awarded you 3 XP! Quote
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