[SoNE Ep. XII] E06 - Stopping by

[Mads Heering]

Shadows of Nar Eurbrikka; Episode XII: Stopping by

Location: Kuat

Time: 10 am

Persons involved:

Mads Heering; Stormtrooper Orwell Haggins; Stormtrooper Cornell Haggins; Stormtrooper

The story:

Three stormtroopers, Mads Heering the driver, Orwell Haggins the navigator and Cornell Haggins the gunner were driving through the wastelands of Kuat when they received a new message. They have to stop by at the nearest base, where they would search for clues. If they find anything suspicious, they have to report it to the base.




What are we doing here? I thought we were leaving Felucia.


Not yet. Something went wrong in the space and now we're searching for clues.


What exactly do we have to do?


I'm not sure ... Sgt. Wunderkind said we must report if we find something suspicious.


What does suspicious means?


...


...


It sounds nice though ...


Conclusion: My first episode! I'm very excited to be part of it and part of the SoNE itself. I can't wait to see more entries. Please tell me your opinion and thanks for watching!

[Merc4Hire]

Welcome to SoNE Mads Heering! Glad to have you aboard the the Avenger. Also, great looking structure, I especially like how the curved lights look and the small the tower/beam build.

[BEAVeR]

Sweet first episode entry, Mads Heering: you'd say you've been doing this for a long time already with such a nice build! And I must say it's a very clever one too... I'm hard pressed to find a part that doesn't appear at least twice in your creation... cunning! But we're not here to discuss your talent in playing the game of this episode, we're here to discuss your talent as a builder.

You use mostly basic bricks in your creation, but you use them quite expertly. You succeed very well in not making your building look like a boring cube and giving it personality through its shape without going into extravagances. I love those white columns that run all the way across the building, and the fact that they are some studs away from the facade. The doors/windows not being at the same level as the front wall and the columns is a good way to give your model some depth and a more intricate shape in a way that is fitting for a humble building. Those lights are a good way to break up the shape on a smaller level. So great job on the shaping with basic bricks! Maybe it could be even better if all of the features in the shape weren't concentrated at the front. You have some small things that break up the sides a bit, but even if you had more details, the sides would still look a bit barren because it doesn't have a distinct shape. You can get away with it if the building is in a closed environment, but here it is exposed at all sides, so there really is little reason why everything should be concentrated at the front. The side could have benefited by a protrusion, platform, ladder, crane, column, conveyor belt or even a smaller side building. Your building only gets more realistic if it becomes clear that every side plays its part. Not every side should be as sensational as your front, but you can't leave that nice piece of work unflanked.

Another suggestion to make it all more real, would be to avoid using so much straight angles. Sure it makes sense that the building should be straight on the road, but your build would be more interesting if the road would be at an angle with the frame. And there is no strong argument why that device should be on the same line as the building. Also, minor things like the parked vehicle or even the stormtroopers standing around would look a lot more lively and less like statues if they wouldn't stand in perfect straight angles. Speaking of the vehicle, it's nice with those beefy engines and strong cannon, but would benefit from a more bulky frame to bind it all together. It's great how you see that there should be some platform to hold troops, how there should be railings and how the nose should be as aerodynamic as possible, but sadly the vehicle on its whole looks a bit too fragile. It would be interesting to add some extra slopes and wedges and greebles around the engines to give it some more bulk and bind everything together to make it stronger. Use those elements to give it a solid and distinct shape just like you did on your great building, and you will have a vehicle with character to complement your building nicely.

But of course this is already a strong entry! Apart from the things I mentioned, I must applaud how you added asymmetrical features to your building, fully fleshed out the roof (with not a stud to break the feeling!), great addition of a road and lights (which many people tend to forget!) and creative shaping of the base (having at least one row of studs between the elements of your build and the edge of the base would place it more in a larger environment and make it feel less chopped off). That's already a long list of achievements for your first SoNE episode entry! Glad to have you here!

[Forresto]

That's quite a bleak building and I mean that in the best possible way. It's well built but it conveys a sense the people whom reside within are miserable to the point that I think the arrival of stormtroopers isn't even the worst part of their day.

Excellent entry can't wait to see more from you!