bionicle: prophocy of shadow

[bigredrobot25]

this is a fanfic i made up that will at some point be made into a stop motion.

it is based in a alternate bionicle universe where it has been 5 years since the toa nuva have succeded in there mission. the makuta are imprisoned, but not for long a discovery will release the makuta and set forth a prothecy that not only threatens their universe but others?

Edited October 4, 2008 by bigredrobot25

[Pencoin]

Erm, You might want to post this at bzp or brickfilms if its a stopmotion. Here a EB we only really focus on the sets and post short theroys and ideas in the main bionicle topic. You could still post MOCs if you made any for your film.

[bigredrobot25]

chapter 1

"these elevators used to be alot bigger",complained nuparu as he jaller got out of an elevator in onu-metru. jaller replied,"well its actually you who had gotten bigger. now lets get to it, we need to investigate the reports of the kardas dragon getting loose, and we know what damage it could cause if it ended up on the surface!" the two toa were walking down the corridor on one of the lowest levels of the onu-metru archives when they heard a rustlingin the distance. then without warning a burst of flame had blown nuparu away,it was kardas, jaller tried his best to dodge the bursts of flame but kardas had managed to get the upper hand, kardas was about to blow the finishing strike when a burst of flame came up on his side but the source of the flame was not jaller, it came from a crimson and red being with a rotating blade and a strange blaster behind him were two other figures a black and grey being with tool that looked like a cross between that strang blaster and a laser drill, and the other was orange and silver with a strange visor with spike around the head. the krdas dragon noticed and breathed a burst of fire upon them but the red being had used his mask power to block the blast of fire it was then that jaller realised who they were,"tahu, onua, pohautu?"

"in the armour replied", pohuatu as he hurled a wall of stone at kardas sending him falling towards the ground. then onua drove his drill into the ground, sending shockwaves that fell the earth ontop of kardas.

as soon as jaller got up he started asking questions like, 'where have you been for the past couple of years?' and 'what did you do?'

thau only said, "OoMn buisness we would like to tell you but then you would be gone by the next morning."

tahu was giving onua the signal to start drilling into the wall and with that they left, before jaller could follow pohautu brouth the wall down ensuring jaller couldn't follow.

"I have to follow them!", said jaller.

nuparu replied, "but it is obvious they don't want us to follow."

[Shine]

Proper punctuation, capitalization, and spelling would help tremendously.

Edited October 5, 2008 by Shine

[Da Death Star!]

Eh,its not too bad,proper grammar would help alot.And as Pencoin said,this would probably go in the Epics forum on BZPower.