Captain Blackmoor Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 (edited) Vig. 65b Updated: March 9 Updated: March 11 Updated: March 16 Hello all! I've build a part of the gundeck and the storage below it during a battle. I liked to build something with action in it. Let's see how it is to live on a ship during a bloody battle! I've got a new camera! I've decided to take some (better) pictures for my entry since they aren't that good. Hope you like them! The interior of the gundeck, the British vessel has destroyed a cannon and it's on fire! A crewmember desperately tries to extinguish the fire. On the right there are two men aiming a cannon. Hand to hand combat is performed on the upper deck, where the British soldier tries to board the ship. Looks like the French called Captain Zuloo for reinforcement! He left the rum behind to help our men a hand against the British! Here is the hold of the ship. A cowardly crewmember is drinking the rum. In the hurry Captain Zuloo bounces his lovely glass of wine... The exterior area of the ship. Here you see the rowboat where the British guys trying to board with. Sad enough one of them is distracted by a parrot floating in a barrel so General Armendariz can kill him easily... :pir-skull: More detailed pictures on my Brickshelf! Thanks for watching! Edited November 16, 2009 by SlyOwl Quote
Ratshot Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 Looks like a good entry, but the quality of the photos is worse than before, I thought you were going to make the reoultion better/ Quote
Captain Blackmoor Posted March 4, 2009 Author Posted March 4, 2009 I'll improve then ASAP, but to give the Creative Critic guys a chance to critisize something, I've posted some pics. The resolution of my other camera is good but the resizing program ruined the quality of my previous pics. And I have a shortage of time at the moment and I only have spare time in the evening, when it is dark. Using lamps give a yellowed light and heavy shades. Natural light is better. Ás I said, I try to save some time for taking photo's. Quote
Ratshot Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 I guess I will be the first to officially comment on this IMPROVEMENTS 1. Maybe add gore to that dude lying dead on the deck. 2. A SNOT tile deck, gun powder room and cannon area would be nice. GOOD JOB ON.... 1. The crew member putting out the fire with the barrel, that looks very realistic 2. Gen.Armendariz in the water. I presume you are calling him a coward Quote
General Armendariz Posted March 4, 2009 Posted March 4, 2009 (edited) Why, thats me! im flattered 2. Gen.Armendariz in the water. I presume you are calling him a coward well I am a bit of a coward when it comes to battle Thats why I am equiped with a lightsaber! Anyways lets get to the good stuff What I like 1. The tumblehome, very good job 2. The SNOT water 3. The cannon on fire 4. Me! What could be improved 1. tiling both decks, It would look much better 2. detail the lower deck a bit more, if you want to win, you got to give it your all! 3. If you can, add a mast with rigging for more detail. 4. Where did the british guy come from? add a boat or something to show better reliliticness (If thats even a word ) Overall a very good job keep up the good work. Edited March 5, 2009 by Genaral armendariz Quote
Erdbeereis Posted March 5, 2009 Posted March 5, 2009 Here we are, the first entry! I like that you've gone with a slightly different idea, building more of an action scene rather than a peaceful cabin or such. The fire burning on the cannon is a really lovely detail and the way you've made it burn through the side looks excellent. There are a few things though that I think could be improved. Some improvements you could make: 1) Definitely go for some better pictures. The current ones make it pretty hard to make out all of the details and action since they are dark and blurry. I would recommend using a white backdrop for a clean look. 2) I'm a bit confused by the story... I think it's a bit hard to follow because it looks as though the pirates are fighting alongside the bluecoats against the redcoats. Perhaps you could describe the story a bit more so it's easier to understand. 3) This is just a minor thing, but I think it would be wise to put some more "exciting" heads on the minifigs. Some that show some expression other than a smile. Maybe a scared head, and some angry ones to go with the happy guys. 4) I would recommend including a few more overview shots so viewers can get a more complete sense of what the entry looks like. Of course, a few close-ups are always welcome. I think you have a good start on this, and once you have some clearer pictures up we'll be able to give you even more help. Good luck to you! Quote
Guss Posted March 5, 2009 Posted March 5, 2009 This is a nice entry ! I like how you did the destroyed canon and the aspect of the part of the ship from the outside! the only thing I miss is some blood on the fallen soldier^^ Too bad the pictures are not very good, but we're not here to judge your pics, but your moc^^ Quote
Zorro Posted March 5, 2009 Posted March 5, 2009 Looks very good Captain Blackmoor, I am proud to say this could be a winner! Congrats with your work mate. Quote
Fluyt Posted March 5, 2009 Posted March 5, 2009 As was mentioned, the pics are a bit grainy which makes it hard to see small details or fully appreciate the moc, pictures are half the work of a great moc in my opinion (allthough I understand it can be hard if you don't have a good camera, or you're just not that good at taking photo's, like me ). But overall it looks like a nice moc. Possible improvement points: 1. Maybe you could add 1 or 2 more people below deck (maybe on the right, by the stairs), a little more stuff and maybe lower the top deck a bit (not much, just 1 or 2 plates) to make the gundeck a bit more cramped, for realism (it was very cramped and very busy below deck during battle, and cannons were crewed by a fair amount of men). 2. You could add a piece of wood in the water, just to break the water a little and show debris from the wrecked cannon hatch. Good points: 1. I really like the action going on, from putting out a fire from a blown-up cannon (nice idea!) to an enemy trying to board the ship. 2. The side of the ship is nice, good variation in colour/texture, especially with the tiles and headlight brick combo for 1/2 stud difference (at least it seems like you used that technique). 3. The details like the ropes on the cannons and the cargo in the hold really finish this moc. + that last pic is a very nice shot, great angle. I don't mind the studs or the "happy" faces that much myself, it just fits well with the spirit of classic pirates and the old imperials. Quote
Captain Blackmoor Posted March 5, 2009 Author Posted March 5, 2009 As first I have to thank you all for your very helpful tips and compliments. I'd like to tell what I do next: 1 Add the blood details on the fallen soldier, it was there but it fell off and forgot to replace it. 2 Adding pieces of wood to the water, I agree the water looks quite 'clean' for a battle. 3 Placing more men on the deck below, I'll try to make a hole in the hull and some men pumping the water out of the hold. 4 I haven't enough tan tiles for the deck so I try to make a SNOT deck just like CGH does in his Prins Willim. 5 Making the story more clear, in the ship there are soldiers (bluecoats) and common cannonfood crewmembers which like a bit like pirates. The ship is being attacked by a British vessel, one British soldier tries to board but fails. 6 Adding more pieces of wood and damage to the ship. 7 LAST BUT DEFENITELY NOT LEAST: making some much better pictures in the weekend, then I have time! The problem is you may only post 3 pictures of your entry and that's not enough to show my entry in detail. On my Brickshelf there are a lot of detail pictures. I'm really happy with all those comments, I thank you again for it. Thanks! Now get back to work... Quote
Erdbeereis Posted March 5, 2009 Posted March 5, 2009 Sounds like some you have some great ideas to fix this up! Thanks for explaining the story, I get it now. I think adding some debris in the water will really liven the MOC up. Perhaps a floating barrel would look nice as well. A few more things that might be nice: 1) I agree with Fluyt that it would be a good idea to fill up the lower level a bit. Maybe a soldier running down the stairs, a bloody body, some barrels, stuff like that. 2) Not sure if there's room for this, but putting a boat in the water with redcoats in it might be a nice touch. If there's not room, just some debris would look fine. ================================================== I eagerly await seeing your updates! Quote
Captain Blackmoor Posted March 5, 2009 Author Posted March 5, 2009 Thank you Erdbeereis for the good advice. I really appreciate that. The hold is quite big actually, there are some barrels and custom goodies in it already, along with a drunken sailor who has found the rum. I'm planning to fill the water with pieces of wood and barrels etc... a rowboat would be a great idea. Expect some updates soon! Quote
Ratshot Posted March 5, 2009 Posted March 5, 2009 I haven't enough tan tiles for the deck so I try to make a SNOT deck just like CGH does in his Prins Willim. The tile colors don't have to be the same color you know, In my entry I dont have enough tile so I used brown and black. Quote
Captain Blackmoor Posted March 6, 2009 Author Posted March 6, 2009 With a lot of thanks to all your feedback I've updated my entry today. Hopefully you like it! Quote
Erdbeereis Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 That's looking excellent! Nice improvements. The addition of the rowboat and debris in the water really make that area more interesting. Plus, the new things below deck make the already exciting entry even more so. A few more improvement ideas: 1) The second and third pictures are still a bit dark and blurry. Make sure to use the macro function on your camera and perhaps add some more light. A white piece of paper or posterboard can also reflect the light well and provide a cleaner background. 2) I think that the second picture should be taken from a bit farther back, so viewers can see the whole thing. Right now it's hard to see the lowest level, which looks very interesting. ============================================ Your entry is already looking much better, and I think it will turn out fantastic. Quote
Fluyt Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 The picture quality has definately improved a lot, still a bit grainy/blurry, but a lot better than before. I like the underwaterpart of the ship, nice technique. And I like that you've added more action and stuff lying around, makes it feel more like an intense battle. Only 1 small thing, the seats of the rowingboat blend in a bit too much because they're the same colour as the rowingboat itself, even though it is realistic now, I think a diffrent colour for the seats would look better, maybe a neutral colour, like grey. (and is that a doublesided head you used for the imperial climbing the side of the ship?) Quote
Captain Blackmoor Posted March 6, 2009 Author Posted March 6, 2009 I've tried to take better pictures but they aren't perfect yet. Sad thing is my white background was destroyed while taking pictures. It fell and teared... I make another, better and larger background soon. Maybe even this evening. Thank you Erdbeereis, I'm looking forward to the final product too! You are probably right about the dinghy Fluyt. I've considered it myself too, and now you say it... I'm planning that for the next update. And thank you for the compliment on the underwater part of the ship. I spend a lot of time on it but I'm happy on the result. Silly though that I forget to place that two tiles. And yes, that's a double sided head I used. I wanted the British soldier looking scared of the pistol pointing at him, I tried to hide the back of the head but it seems to be I have failed on that. Quote
General Armendariz Posted March 6, 2009 Posted March 6, 2009 It seems you took my advice with the boat! Good job And now I be swimming in a barrel! Quote
Captain Blackmoor Posted March 7, 2009 Author Posted March 7, 2009 I agreed with the fact the water was empty and too clean for a battle, so I filled it up. Also thanks for your advice Armendariz! And no, you aren't swimming, you are trying to safe your life because you suddenly realize your barrel is leaking... Quote
puriri Posted March 7, 2009 Posted March 7, 2009 Hey, this looks really cool. The good: I really like the way you did the hull. Lots of detail. Especially the burning cannon and the cannon tied to the hull. The "needs improvements:" It would be awesome if you could do snot deck also it could add detail to the outside hull. How about tilting the whole boat to make it look like it's actually sailing. Also the white lines in the water confuse me. Why doesn't the rowboat have froth too? Needs rigging. I don't mind the pictures so much but better quality would be nice. Puriri Quote
Fluyt Posted March 7, 2009 Posted March 7, 2009 You are probably right about the dinghy Fluyt. I've considered it myself too, and now you say it... I'm planning that for the next update. And thank you for the compliment on the underwater part of the ship. I spend a lot of time on it but I'm happy on the result. Silly though that I forget to place that two tiles. And yes, that's a double sided head I used. I wanted the British soldier looking scared of the pistol pointing at him, I tried to hide the back of the head but it seems to be I have failed on that. Thanks for appreciating my suggestions, I really like how this moc is progressing (and that you where brave enough to go first ). I think the double-sided head is a bit unnescesary then, since you don't have a pic of his face anyways (unfortunately because of the 3 pics max. rule), it would also make it easier when taking photo's, then you don't have to hide the back of the head. And no, you aren't swimming, you are trying to safe your life because you suddenly realize your barrel is leaking... Darn technic axle holes in the bottom... Quote
General Armendariz Posted March 7, 2009 Posted March 7, 2009 And no, you aren't swimming, you are trying to safe your life because you suddenly realize your barrel is leaking... HaHa I do hope I survive Quote
Captain Blackmoor Posted March 8, 2009 Author Posted March 8, 2009 Hey, this looks really cool.The good: I really like the way you did the hull. Lots of detail. Especially the burning cannon and the cannon tied to the hull. The "needs improvements:" It would be awesome if you could do snot deck also it could add detail to the outside hull. How about tilting the whole boat to make it look like it's actually sailing. Also the white lines in the water confuse me. Why doesn't the rowboat have froth too? Needs rigging. I don't mind the pictures so much but better quality would be nice. Puriri Thank you puriri! I'm planning to use a SNOT technique for the decks, but I'll have to rebuild the whole hull for it and I lack time for it right now. The rowboat is new so I haven't added waves for it yet. A good point but I'm afraid the water will get too crowded. But we'll see... I agree a rigging would be a nice additon to it, but there's no mast in this piece of the ship: I've drawed a square around the part I made. As you see there's no mast or rigging in here. You can also see the upper deck in my entry is open, in real there are rowboats hanging in that space. I haven't done that because it would be too crowded then and it would be much harder to photograph. Thanks Puriri for your advices! Quote
Admiral Croissant Posted March 9, 2009 Posted March 9, 2009 great moc! I especially like the man in the barrelXD and you have invented the part below the water-surface very well, unfortunately you can't see it so good. This is the best one i have seen so far:) Quote
Captain Blackmoor Posted March 11, 2009 Author Posted March 11, 2009 With thanks to all your compliments, suggestions and critics I've updated my entry again, for the better! Hope you guys like it like I do! Of course, even more suggestions, critics and compliments are very welcome! First post has been edited. Quote
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