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“Hi there, you must be here for Heroica RPG’s first Henry Awards. I hear the ceremony is about to start soon, so you’d best get inside!” *Fireworks* *AC/DC begins to play in the background* “Ouch. Stark said this was easy.” “Ah, that is better” “Cronk would like to welcome audience to the first ever Heroica Awards. It seems like only yesterday that brash young adventurers came knocking on door of Hall. There have been ups and downs but Cronk thinks every being will agree that a good time was had by all.” Please roll highlight reel now, Mr. Awards Producer. That name too long. Cronk will call producer... Zeph. ...What’s that? It seems highlight reel was not in show’s budget. Hmmm... Cronk will describe then. What being could forget the first quests by a handful of eager rookies? Parties got lost in mazes, tried to talk to warehouse guard dogs, and battled vast quantities of furniture. Good times. But heroes have since been all over known world. To the far shores of Salamanda, where heroes had to make unicorn undead and sell little boys to witches. To the sands of Dastan, where a young mage made all of Heroica proud by eating an unarmed prisoner. From starting wars before heroes properly do research to breaking out from Arena ruled by crazy witch, it’s been a wild ride. And one that heroes are quite happy to have opportunity to have. Okay. First section of awards, as other producer called WBD, tells Cronk is about things called “QMs” and “NPCs”. Sounds like lots of letters to Cronk but Cronk is told such things are vital to questing. Apparently, quests not exist without “QMs”. And what is quest without beings to save or enemies to bash? There have been many such things throughout Heroica’s history and many are fondly remembered. To start off Awards, Cronk would like to introduce Count Lewis of Lion Knights. Seems like nice fellow to Cronk. Please applaud for Count. "With any quest comes the task of documenting it to be remembered and learned from, and part of that task is the creation of paintings and scale models to commemorate the quest. This is easier said than done, as it takes no small amount of skill to craft accurate and pleasing representations of the events of a quest. There is a myriad of techniques used by the craftsmen commissioned to paint and sculpt these commemorative pieces that most of us cannot hope to understand, from 'SNOT' to 'forced-perspective' to 'Photoshop' to strange machines called 'cameras' that look like something fresh out of a Ji Pei workshop. Nevertheless, one thing is clear: that some of these artists are able to render impeccably the smallest details, light realistically the most complicated of models, blend masterfully the most subtle colors of paints and never fail to stop experimenting with the most unusual of techniques to rise above the rest. These creators of paintings and sculptures of majesty worthy of honoring the acts of Heroes are the winners of the Heroica Awards for the category of Best Scenery/Photography, and they are... Best Scenery/Photography Winner: Brickdoctor with 12 votes for all of his quests Runners-up: Sandy with 5 votes for Quest 44 & Etzel with 3 votes for Quest 49 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Well now, well now, it is quite an honor to be here with all you fine folks. I was just working on another brilliant invention when I got the invitation to host one of these here awards. I figured now would be a good time to check up on you Heroica chaps. Has anyone seen that Nord fellow around lately? Ah well, never mind, on to business. Now there’s been quite a bit happening with your organization and that’s all thanks to some really smart people. It takes a lot to keep an organization such as this one on its toes with new surprises and twists and turns. One of the most memorable challenges involved a lot of people running every which way trying to keep from tripping over their own feet as they faced off hordes of enemies. Additionally there’s one member of your organization who seems particularly bright at keep you all at tip top shape with new challenges and puzzles a plenty. So without further ado, the winners of the best game (as if this were all some sort of game) mechanic are... Best Game Mechanic, Battle, Puzzle, etc… Winners: Brickdoctor, JimBee, & Zepher with 5 votes for the Final Battle of Dastan & Sandy with 5 votes for his many unique game mechanics and the continuous battle of Quest 50 Runners-up: Brickdoctor with 4 votes for the Hexagon Battle mechanic & Waterbrick Down with 4 votes for puzzles and new mechanics & Etzel with 2 votes ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Throughout their quests, heroes pick up many shinies. Many quests introduce new weapons, artifacts, and consumables that the heroes can use to defeat evil easier. The Treasury in Eubric Freeport has record of all of these, but which are the best of the best? A new pair of gloves for those guys with the big shields? A weapon of chaos that can transform into anything the user desires? Or maybe a ballerina's shoes, suitable for even the gruffest of warriors? Without further ado, the best shinies in Heroica are... Best Item: Winners: Zepher with 2 votes for Dancing Shoes & Waterbrick Down with 2 votes for Lamp of Summoning & Xarrzan with 2 votes for Counterstrike Gloves & Sandy with 2 votes for Pheles Rod & Zepher weith 2 votes for Zoot’s Plaything ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Welcome, welcome one and all! Welcome to this amazing fall! An amazing fall because awards are raining from the sky!” *Spins in a few circles, throws bells into the air that rain down around, ringing all at the same time. Feet start tapping to a nice beat* “And with that intro I say hi.” *Smiles friendlily* “I have been given the GREAT honor of presenting to you, all of whom probably knew,…” there is a short pause before saying “the Best Friendly NPC award!” *More bells and some whistles fly from Singerson’s pockets, the spinning continues* “I can definitely afford, to take a look at this envelope. Oh me, oh my, we might even cry. These individuals truly deserve this auspicious honor. The first place winner is a character indeed. He can provide you with much fish feed. But if you’re interested in something illicit, stop on by his stall and you he sure will solicit. We have a tie for second place, such a shame to lose the race. This first young lady is a rising star! If you get in the way she will throw you far. She doesn’t stand for any rowdiness and if you are in her good graces than it sure is bliss. This next little fellow may be born a runt, but his explosives aren’t some small stunt! He doesn’t mind your leftovers and to be his friend you don’t need a four leaf clover. It’s time! It’s time! I would usually rhyme but I have been delegated to say the following words. And…the winners are…” Best Friendly NPC: Winner: Gurnam with 8 votes Runners-up: Patricia Cousland with 2 votes & Punii with 2 votes ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Well, howdy there folks! Looks like it's time for me to present. I promise, I'm not going to blow the stage up, while I'm on at it least. Ha ha ha! Well, I've never been much of a talker when it comes down to it, but these winners are some great ladies who have really challenged some heroes of Heroica, and that's where all the fun is at anyway, isn't it? So, here we go!" Best Villainous NPC: Winner: Wren with 11 votes Runner-up: Violetta with 3 votes SPECIAL AWARD: The Best Good/Bad: Jules (Received one vote for best friendly NPC, and one for best Villainous NPC) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- * Takes a theatrical bow as shadowy hands - of dead Proggs, most likely - momentarily emerge from the floor and applaud him* "Hello, ladies and gentlemen! Some of you may be a bit confused - why am I presenting an award at the Heroica awards ceremony? Don't I hate most of you with a burning passion? The answer to that question is, indeed, yes. Which is actually why am I here, believe it or not. It is my pleasure to be able to announce the victors of the Best (Game Mechanic) Villainous NPC. There are some foes that are tough, some that hit hard and can take a beating without breaking a sweat. There are enemies who heal, swindle, cast spells and breathe fire... However. There are those who rise above these enemies in pure ingenuity, thrashing the heroes before them with grace and dignity. These baddies provided unique fighting experiences... Shame, considering they're all dead. Maybe I should fix hat if I get some spare time. Anyway, as you verminous humanoids may have deduced, it is my pleasure to announce this award to remind you all of some of the more trickier foes your organization has encountered. Remember, heroes, there is always a bigger fish in the pond, just waiting for its chance to strike... Now then, I believe that it is quite nearly time for me to quit ranting and open up the results. It was my honor to know the people whose names are inscribed in this envelope. However, most of you heroes actually know them - practically all of you hate them - and one of them has even been fought twice! The winners ARE..." Best (Game Mechanic) Villainous NPC: Winners: Aquos with 3 votes & Death Progg with 3 votes Runners-up: Mirror Heroes with 2 votes & Slim Yscum with 2 votes --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I am here to present the winners for the Best Story category. Stories are, after all, mirrors to our own lives, journeys to our inner consciousnesses. The most interesting stories are not the ones about the battle between good and evil, but the ones that cover the entire spectrum of life. We all have our accomplishments and our regrets, as told in the best of stories. The winners of this category were all stories like that, full of moral conflict and intrigue, touching upon a multitude of lives. The events told in these stories do not only shape history but also touch us on a personal level. The winners are... Best Story: Winner: The Wren Saga with 5 votes (Additionally in the Wren Saga, but not counted for the tally: Quest 7 got 1 vote, Quest 19 got 1 vote, Quest 38 got 2 votes) Runners-up: The Dastan Trilogy with 4 votes & Quest 44 with 3 votes (Additionally: The over-all fate of Uland got 1 vote) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hello again friends. Aren’t awards fun? Beings get shiny statues and people applaud. Makes Cronk happy. Anywho, it is now time for second part of Heroica Awards. Producer Zeph tells Cronk that these awards are for “PCs”. Zeph explain to Cronk that “PCs” are another word for heroes! Imagine that. Cronk has many friends that are heroes and deserving of shiny awards. Cronk hopes that Cronk’s friends shall win awards. To start off categories, Cronk would like to introduce Captain Illdria of the Magpie. Captain seems to be tough but fair woman, a fitting sea captain. Please applaud for Captain! “Greetings to everyone, heroes or…otherwise. Now, this award’s not just all about the history behind the hero. It’s not about all the tragedy or badassery. It’s all about the hike, from home, to Heroica, to wherever you might’ve been the past year, the people you’ve met, the things you’ve done, how you’ve done them. Some of you like to be the absolute best hero you can be, while others…eh, well, we won’t judge you. Anyway, this award is going to the paragons of superior stories, to those whose development’s been the most noteworthy among heroes. They're both the righteous warriors you'd expect from Heroica, but funnily enough, I can't imagine them being any more unlike the other...these two people are…. Best Role-player: Winner: Lord Lawrence Boomingham (Zepher) with 6 votes Runner-up: Cronk (CorneliusMurdock) with 4 votes --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Well then. Hello everyone. Nice day isn't it - as long as none of you brutes start a brawl. Anyways, I whizzed over here to this nice place to talk about the best of you heroes. True, everyone can buy a bedroll and an upgrade to their weapon - but who has figured out the best combinations in order to optimize their fighting strategy?" "I'd like to say something about a noble hero, a brave one. A silent warrior, he bravely launches arrows at his numerous foes, and even punches them with his powerful fists... All while cowering behind a nigh- impervious hunk of expensive metal. I don't think he's ever gotten a scratch even... Also I know of another hero that deserves mention, I must say he has had a different strategy. By building up his immune system - er, his collection of artifacts, he feels incredibly safe against most negative effects. That and his powerful weapon make him an impressive fighter. But I can't say much about his attitude - echs, it stinks!" "Anyways, I'm talking too much. Right right, the winners are... Best Character Optimizer: Winner: Bartholomew Docken (Brickdoctor) with 14 votes Runner-up: Guts Holla (Scubacarrot) with 3 votes --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Greetings heroes of Heroica! It is I, Hlin Horrkkba, here to add some much needed derring do and panache to these awards! The award I have been asked to present today is in the category of Best Strategist. Now I know I am not eligible for this award, which is lucky as I am sure I would have run away with the voting, but I know what makes a good strategist, being one myself. I can reveal that the winner is a master at carefully analysing their opponents, in terms of their strengths and weaknesses, as well as bringing out the best in their own party by seeing which artifacts are best suited to both the hero and the current strategy. I am proud to announce the winners, who are... Best Strategist: Winner: Arthur Justus Regulus VII (Flipz) with 7 votes Runners-up: Barholomew Docken (Brickdoctor) with 4 votes & Sylph Solanum (Dannylonglegs) with 4 votes & Nerwen Calmcacil (Chromeknight) with 2 votes --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “Well I must say, I certainly wasn’t expectin’ to be considered one of the most friendliest chaps to you folks, guess I’ll have to work on that. Now when it comes to heroes ya have those of ya who are yer hoity toity goodie two shoes, and then there’s the chaps who as soon as they walk into the tavern or pub ya just know there’s goin’ be an ol’ fashioned brawl. They’re the chaps that punch first and ask questions second, the chaps that get stuff done no matter how messy or painful the job. This category was a close race fer sure, one contestant a sailor of the seven seas, a rogue after my own heart, if I had heart that is. The next contestant another rogue with a past shrouded in many a tale of mystery and adventure; he prefers his purse full, his dagger sharp, his enemies dead, and his wine excellent. The last contestant is no stranger to the halls of Heroica, she’s been here since the beginnin’ and I don’t know about you, but even I’d prefer to keep my skin from catchin’ on fire due to this fiery individual. So here we go, the winners of the most bad-megablocks hero are none other than… Most Bad-megablocks Hero: Winner: Atramor Gibbin (CallMePie) with 7 votes Runners-up: Guts Holla (Scubacarrot) with 6 votes & Nyx (Pandora) with 3 votes --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “What makes people interesting? It's when you can see from the first glance that they've got a good story to tell. They stand out in the crowd, make heads turn, and get talked about even after they've gone. It's my pleasure to present to you the winners of the Most Original Character category. You only have to look at each of them to see all the possible stories they hold. You feel drawn to these characters, wishing to know more and more about them, and that is what makes them truly original. And the winners are... Most Original Character: Winner: Skrall (Waterbrick Down) with 5 votes Runners-up: De'kra (Tanma) with 3 votes & Atramor Gibbin (CallMePie) with 2 votes & Cronk (Corneliusmurdock) with 2 votes & Stigveladi "Amma" Kötturin (Psykater) with 2 votes --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Hello ladies!" "And gentlemen!" "Especially ladies." "We have been chosen to present the reward for the Most Meaningful and/or Powerful Relationship! We are honored." "We definitely did not come here for the open bar and sufficient monetary reward." "Definitely. We have been chosen because of our inherent connection with Ennoc, naturally." "No doubt, even though we were kicked out of his Order after all our hard work, we feel no less. Now we just serve him in different ways." "Yes, and that is a powerful relationship!" "Let that be a lesson for all of you!" "How is that a lesson?" "Uhh, I am not sure, per se... I just always wanted to say that." "Let's just get to the awards." "Yes..." "The winners of the awards..." "Hang on, why do you get to say it?" "Oh look, there's two winners! Two winners everyone! Jacob, you go first." "The first winners of the Award for the Most Meaningful and/or Powerful Relationship is a pair that... Oh god, Age difference much? I am not sure that's legal. I'm pretty sure we should inform the temples." "I am not sure that is what they mean by powerful relationship..." "Hm, I just assumed, makes more sense why they picked us, I guess. Anyway, a younger girl, an older man, two jokers in a world full of grumpiness! Congratulations!" "The other winner is a pair of an old rogue and an even older Elf, only you can't see that, so good job! They had their run ins, but still stick around, congratulations to you both!" "The winners are… Winners: Lord Lawrence Boomingham (Zepher) and Nyx (Pandora) with 4 votes & Guts Holla (Scubacarrot) and Nerwen Calmcacil (Chromeknight) with 4 votes Runners-up: Atramor Gibbin (CallMePie) and Nyx (Pandora) with 2 votes & Nyx (Pandora) and XX (Zepher) with 2 votes --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Someone rushes onto stage* <Wait, it’s not over yet. One of the best parts of going out on adventures are all the great people and frogs that you get to meet! Some of those people end up getting along really well! Those people become friends! Also, sometimes, you meet people who you disagree with, and they make you sweat a little and worry! These people become your person antagonists! A good fun party has some friends and some enemies! So, without further adieu, the parties that we liked watching the most!> Best Party Dynamic: Winner: Quest 28: The Breakthrough (Bartholomew Docken, Lord Lawrence Boomingham, Haldor Skovgaard, Jess Islanti, En Sabah Nur) with 6 votes Runner-up: Quest 33: Wanted Violetta Cat Burglar (Althior Emorith, Alexis Fenral, Benji Carvenhall) with 2 votes --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [ *To the tune of “The Impossible Dream”* To Dream the Heroica Dream, To treat the QM like a foe, To loot more than realistically carried, To run where NPCs dare not go To right wrongs for piles of gold, To fell foe with bows from afar To bash when foe finally stops talking To drink free at Heroica’s bar This is friends’ quest to min/max friends’ build No matter the nerfing that might happen and will To defeat all the foes And then take all foes’ stuff To be willing to search for loopholes When enemy is too tough. And Cronk knows if all friends do these things And win battles galore That the loot and the levels friends gain Leave friends hungry for more And the world will be better for this That one Hall full of Heroes for hire Still quest like some bloodthirsty pirates To Loot and maybe set things on fire! “Cronk would like to thank all friends that make Heroica possible: the heroes, beings called... “players”, other beings called “QMs”, and most importantly the mythic founder of Eubric, the one called “Sandy”. Cronk would like to thank audience for being such great audience and Cronk wishes audience a truly good night.” --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A gigantic thank you to all of you who helped directly put this together; it couldn’t have been done without you. Thank you as well for all to all the players of Heroica RPG, it really is amazing to look back on all that has happened since the beginning of the game and the ways that each of you have contributed to make it such an utterly enjoyable experience!