[SoNE Ep. VII] A Five Finger Discount

[OHarra]

Once upon a time, in the gal ...

Don't expect a novel, time's running!

Young O'Harra is very proud of his little speeder, stolen from the empire. It's a fast little vehicle, made for stormtroopers it can be used anywhere, but it's good for massive traffic jams too. Our hero got it on his first mission ...

Objectives: Sleeping stormtroopers, guns and a speeder. This was O'Harra's first mission. He smuggled into nearset Empire's base, a small weapons warehouse on the hill. After he "removed" the stormtrooper from speeder, he loaded the guns on and left the storage as soon as possible. But he didn't know, that the stormtrooper was actually his father, which O'Harra never met.

I apologize for terrible photos but all I found was a mobile phone and a board game board (backside) as a background ...

[Kodan Black]

The past scene is a lot packed into a little space. I wish the story was a bit more fleshed out, but time is short. Is the light saber in the first scene just decoration or is the border closest to camera supposed to represent something?

[OHarra]

No, it's there just for decoration ...

[MontyPython]

I really like that small walker. Great MOC!

[markus1984]

Yes, also a great entry for this episode!

The floor at the first MOC looks really good.

markus

[Jacob Nion]

Very unique design of the speeder. And I like the snot base of the first scene. The story is sad also it's very short. Keep on the good work, the alliance needs you!

[BEAVeR]

If I'm honest, I can see that it was quite a rushed entry at the build on its own. The speeder could use some more detail, that border could go all the way around, there could be a full base in the past scene... Just little things, but they give your entry a bit an unfinished look. So next time, if you're schedule isn't as tight, you might want to finish it off nicely, as presentation is quite an important factor. So those are the little things that fall a bit out of place, but there are several little things that are really great as well! That custom-made blaster, for instance, is something I haven't seen before. and the little radar at the top of your past scene is getting the most out of that grill tile. It's great to see all of these little smart things, and they make this creation a succeeded build.

As for the vehicles, I really like the proportions of that speeder. It is a bit blocky though, with a lot of straight angles. So try making it more complex and cohesive by introducing a more interesting geometry, just like that nice bow on the bottom. Actually, the bottom has more details that the top, so it would be great to have some extra controls, just to make the vehicle look more practical. It's already great that you added the hinge plate rather than a normal one to have some more texture! In the first picture, the contrast is a bit too high though, making the design of the speeder clash a bit. You see, contrast is great, but only if you group it properly. One well placed and well shaped color accent will have way more effect than several blobs all over the place for example. So try to do the color design in nice regions. This could make your already quite excellent design pop more. The walker is pretty nice, too, with its nicely angled legs it looks very Star Wars like. It does remind me a lot of a chicken's body though... So maybe it's still a bit too organic. Maybe putting the extra pneumatic cylinder here and there, or replacing curvy sections with more angular geometry might help that. It's good to have some biomimicry in your designs though!

So you did a fine job given the timeframe. You brought some nice details, interesting vehicles and great textures. I think the key is to make technical things more angular and intricate, and natural things more organic (referring to the very blocky color of the soil). And let's not forget the dramatic story! So I'm eagerly awaiting what you will build when you have more time.