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THIS IS THE TEST SITE OF EUROBRICKS! ×
THIS IS THE TEST SITE OF EUROBRICKS!

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Posted

*NOTE* This is my first Eurobricks New Topic! Please, PLEASE make it clear to me if I did anything wrong, or you have any concerns, picture shots, building, characters, etc. Comments are really appreciated, they help me to better perform next time. Here we go!

INTRODUCTION:

Imperial Star Destroyer "Tyrant", Brick System, 2 ABY.

16144148069_1272827b8e_s.jpgSONEe1s1 by BrickJamesWells, on Flickr Imperial Crewman: Sir, the stormtrooper squad has arrived. Hanger Bay 3.

16304398006_aeec9d1239_s.jpgSONEe1s2 by BrickJamesWells, on FlickrCaptain Vars: Excellent, I will go to greet them. Lieutenant, you have the bridge.

-Down in Hanger 3-

15710434653_fdccc548a7_s.jpgSONEe1s3 by BrickJamesWells, on Flickr-------------------------------------------------------

Stormtrooper "B-Squad" has arrived on the Star Destroyer. They have been called by Captain Vars to get briefed and prepared for the mission. The B-Squad is compromised of it's 4 main members, Sergeant Trans, their leader, Darek Stens, a highly skilled, bragging, mean member of the team, Dan Jars, a skilled Stormtrooper, friend of our main character. And, last off, James, the newest member of B-Squad, Stormtrooper Corporal. Struggling to fit in, but still skilled.

-------------------------------------------------------

Sergeant Trans: Men, prepare to be greeted by Captain Vars. I want you all to be on your best behaviour in front of him.

B-Squad: Yes, Sir!

16329483772_404135a359_s.jpgSONEe1s4 by BrickJamesWells, on Flickr

Captain Vars: Hello B-Squad.

D-Squad Members: Hello, Sir!

16144467617_587abbd8f9_s.jpgSONEe1s5 by BrickJamesWells, on FlickrCaptain Vars: It's very good to have you on the ship. You will leave for your mission in a few days, so we must do a final briefing now. Follow me.

15710443303_234324f62f_s.jpgSONEe1s6 by BrickJamesWells, on Flickr

Sergeant Trans: Let's move it, troops!

-B-Squad proceeds with the Captain-

16142771288_6629d74d3b_s.jpgSONEe1s7 by BrickJamesWells, on Flickr

Dan Jars: James, come on, you alive? We have a briefing to get to, keep with the group!

James: Oh, yes, right. Sorry, I was thinking.

Dans Jars: If you think too long in the Empire, you have big chances of getting killed. C'mon, newby!

16142777588_bb80588e76_s.jpgSONEe1s8 by BrickJamesWells, on Flickr

Captain Vars: Ah, here we are.

16142787798_34ceb41826_s.jpgSONEe1s9 by BrickJamesWells, on Flickr

Captain Vars: B-Squad, please proceed into the communications and briefing room.

16144485677_4000b66350_s.jpgSONEe1s10 by BrickJamesWells, on Flickr

James: We've been briefed on this plan for weeks, is this necessary?

Captain Vars: It very well is, if you fail to plan, then you plan to fail.

16304426686_33074ccf09_s.jpgSONEe1s11 by BrickJamesWells, on Flickr

Captain Vars: Now, listen up closely. I will review one last time. There is a secret rebel station here. Your shuttle will take you just off of scanner range, and you will move in, secure the station, and reclaim the all important Imperial Codes at all costs.

16144182419_f0d37c9663_s.jpgSONEe1s12 by BrickJamesWells, on Flickr

Captain Vars: You have been entrusted with a very tough mission, yes, but I do believe B-Squad can prevail. Don't let me down.

16142797268_66846d697e_s.jpgSONEe1s13 by BrickJamesWells, on Flickr

Captain Vars: I think we have almost everything set, but don't forget your training, and retrieve those Imperial Cod-

-Door Opens-

16144187379_9ef2e96ebd_s.jpgSONEe1s14 by BrickJamesWells, on Flickr

Imperial Officer: Sorry to interrupt, Captain, but there is an urgent transmission for you from Admiral Brickton, you are required on the bridge immediately.

Captain Vars: Alright, thank you, Lieutenant. I will be up momentarily.

16144189939_02e767cc01_s.jpgSONEe1s15 by BrickJamesWells, on Flickr

Captain Vars: Alright men, I will check back on you later. Get some rest for now, it's been a long day.

16143004500_9d8d872aeb_s.jpgSONEe1s16 by BrickJamesWells, on Flickr

Sergeant Trans: I'll be off. Remember the plan, and we'll get back together later. For now, I think you boys deserve a rest. Maybe even explore the ship? We'll be on it for a while before and after the mission. If we survive, of course. I know we can do it, though. See you boys later.

James: Bye, sir!

Sergeant Trans: Goodbye.

-Moments later-

16142811098_ffbb80bdfa_s.jpgSONEe1s17 by BrickJamesWells, on Flickr

Darek Stens: Watch it, newby! Heh, I bet you won't even survive the first few seconds of battle. See you later, young one.

James: Hey! Don't push me!

Darek Stens: You make me laugh, newby. I could do this all day, but I'll be off. Hmf.

16142813458_b03c6b4dc0_s.jpgSONEe1s18 by BrickJamesWells, on Flickr

Dan Jars: Don't worry about Darek, he just thinks he's the best. But, he's really not. He's just the type that picks on newbies like you. However, you're actually quite skilled. I know you'll be a useful member of the team, no matter how new. I know I can trust you in battle.

James: Thanks, Dan. Well, I guess I'll be off. I got to start thinking about the mission, and training. I'll see you later. Bye.

Dans Jars: Bye, James.

16304437826_61feda81ef_s.jpgSONEe1s19 by BrickJamesWells, on Flickr

James: Hopefully luck will come my way.

16144202399_72d3b671d3_s.jpgSONEe1s20 by BrickJamesWells, on Flickr

15707959024_398a98f1c4_s.jpgSONEe1s21 by BrickJamesWells, on Flickr

-Episode 1 Complete, I'll try to get the second episode out sometime next week. Thank you for watching-

Excuse some flaws in the writing, such as some of the words or characters names behind "Flickr", and I'll make the images bigger next time. If you'd like to see it a big bigger, please click the flickr link. Thank you for understanding.

Posted (edited)

First off, welcome to SoNE. I'm quite new myself so I'm sure some of the more experienced builders will chime in later with their thoughts too.

I like the story, helps establish your character. A couple things on the photos is they are all pretty dark, and as a result the camera is trying to compensate but it is ending up grainy. I noticed in a few you had a bright light in one part of the picture and it quickly became dark which means the light source was probably quite close. The best is to have a lot of natural sunlight but that isn't always possible. If you can't get that your best bet is to have multiple lights from different directions so you don't get harsh shadows.

Your pictures are also REALLY tight on the minifigs, which makes it hard to see if they are just standing on a gray plate or if there is a scene there. For instance: https://www.flickr.c...07/15710443303/ that one has some detail in the railing and the control station but because it is framed so tightly you really can't see much of the build.

One thing I've found helpful is to go to Watto's Junkyard and look at the past builds. If you read the comments (especially from Beaver) you'll get a good sense of what works, what doesn't work as well, etc.

One minor realism point: a sergeant is enlisted and therefore wouldn't be called sir, that is for officers. Generally speaking if you called a sergeant "sir" they would tell you to never call them that, they work for a living. :wink:

I look forward to the ongoing adventures of your character and I'm glad to have another builder for the right team!

Edited by Kodan Black
Posted

First off, welcome to SoNE. I'm quite new myself so I'm sure some of the more experienced builders will chime in later with their thoughts too.

I like the story, helps establish your character. A couple things on the photos is they are all pretty dark, and as a result the camera is trying to compensate but it is ending up grainy. I noticed in a few you had a bright light in one part of the picture and it quickly became dark which means the light source was probably quite close. The best is to have a lot of natural sunlight but that isn't always possible. If you can't get that your best bet is to have multiple lights from different directions so you don't get harsh shadows.

Your pictures are also REALLY tight on the minifigs, which makes it hard to see if they are just standing on a gray plate or if there is a scene there. For instance: https://www.flickr.c...07/15710443303/ that one has some detail in the railing and the control station but because it is framed so tightly you really can't see much of the build.

One thing I've found helpful is to go to Watto's Junkyard and look at the past builds. If you read the comments (especially from Beaver) you'll get a good sense of what works, what doesn't work as well, etc.

One minor realism point: a sergeant is enlisted and therefore wouldn't be called sir, that is for officers. Generally speaking if you called a sergeant "sir" they would tell you to never call them that, they work for a living. :wink:

I look forward to the ongoing adventures of your character and I'm glad to have another builder for the right team!

I thank you for your comment. Thank you for your suggestions, and for pointing in some problems. I will try to manage the light better, and the "Star Destroyer" Hanger Bay, Communications Room, hallways, etc actually has way more detail, and next time I will really try to add more of the detail of the structure, for this post was merely a "test" if you'd like to call it that, and to get my character out there a bit. Now that I have the beginning story, with each SoNE Episode, I can focus on better adding detail to the structure, picture, lighting, etc. Also, next time I will not have the pictures so small. And I will fix the Sergeant thing. I assumed so, I know it is that way in real life, but in a few other SoNE Episodes, I saw some of the people call their Sergeants "Sir", so I assumed it MIGHT be different for Stormtroopers, being a completely different universe. I will take more time and detail next time, and I really thank for your post, so now I can make a better episode for next time, and show way more detail.

Posted

Welcome @SonE and on the right side :wink: .

The first story of your character is nice!

A little bit bigger MOC would looks better but for the first its absolut ok!

Can`t wait for the next part.

markus

Posted

Welcome @SonE and on the right side :wink: .

The first story of your character is nice!

A little bit bigger MOC would looks better but for the first its absolut ok!

Can`t wait for the next part.

markus

I do believe I'm on the right side :wink:.

Thank you for commenting, I tried to make my characters as likeable as possible. I understand I only have a few characters in the first episode, bad pictures, and lack of showing the MOC, but for next episode, I will try to my best abilities to being all the elements in a smooth blend, and try to make everyone that views it as happy as possible. I'll also have you know that I was quite inspired by your freebuilds, as well as a few other people. Partly the reason I decided to do this :classic: .

Posted

You have some great simple details here. I really like all the minifigure activity. You may not have a huge, MOC, but the way you constantly show movement of minifigs helps a lot. It would be nice if you could link larger photos so that we don't have to go to flickr to see them. Try around the 800x600 size.

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