James Wellington Posted January 26, 2015 Posted January 26, 2015 (edited) [soNE Freebuild] "The Escape" Part. 2 Please comment, tell me what you think, it helps me to better perform next time. This is my sixth Episode. INTRODUCTION: After trying to arrest Dan Jars for being a rebel spy failed, Dan Jars, the rebel spy, and ex-B-Squad member knocked down Admiral Brickton, shot a stormtrooper, knocked one out, shot the Sergeant in the leg, and ran through the halls to try to make his escape. However, all of this was not known by the B-Squad (except for Sergeant Trans), and the rest of the Imperial crew. Now, Dan tries to make his escape via Hanger Bay 3. Star Destroyer "Tyrant", Brick System, 2 ABY. SONEe6s1 by BrickJamesWells, on Flickr Merchant: We're only carrying food supplies for the station, we have a license. Imperial Crewman: Alright, you seem to check out, tell your crewman to start up your ship. You will head directly for the station, and dock at docking bay #9. SONEe6s2 by BrickJamesWells, on Flickr Lieutenant: Trooper, why were there shots fired? What's happening? Dan Jars: Oh...uh... there was a blaster malfunction, a few people were wounded, why don't you go help them? SONEe6s3 by BrickJamesWells, on Flickr SONEe6s4 by BrickJamesWells, on Flickr Admiral Brickton: Stop that trooper, he's a Rebel spy! SONEe6s5 by BrickJamesWells, on Flickr Lieutenant and Merchant: Arg! SONEe6s6 by BrickJamesWells, on Flickr Admiral Brickton: Stop, Rebel Scum! Merchant #2: Urg! SONEe6s7 by BrickJamesWells, on Flickr James: Woah, what's happening!?!? Admiral Brickton: Dan is a Rebel Spy, get him! James: What? How can this be? I don- SONEe6s8 by BrickJamesWells, on Flickr Dan Jars: THE EMPIRE BETRAYED ME! NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME. YOU WERE MY FRIEND JAMES, BUT THE EMPIRE IS NOW MY ENEMY! SONEe6s9 by BrickJamesWells, on Flickr Admiral Brickton: He got away. I need fighters after that ship immediately. James: Sir, I don't understand! He was my friend! Admiral Brickton: But he's not anymore! This will be explained after we stop this traitor from getting away. SONEe6s10 by BrickJamesWells, on Flickr (excuse the bad "space" here) Dan Jars: Rebel Command, this is Rebel Intelligence Agent Dan Jars, I am in trouble, they think I'm just a traitor, but I also have some important Imperial battle plans! I need some fighters here, immediately. This information is valuable, and needs to get into an Alliance computer now! Rebel Officer (via com link): Copy that, Agent Jars, we'll see what we can do. See what happens next in Episode 7! Please comment, and tell me what you thought! Edited January 26, 2015 by James Wellington Quote
MKJoshA Posted January 28, 2015 Posted January 28, 2015 Typical Empire employees to believe anyone who tells them it was just a weapon malfunction You are churning these freebuilds out really fast, but your story is still keeping me coming back for more. One thing I would recommend, since you are only allowed to get XP for 4 freebuilds per episode, is to tell more story per freebuild. A couple of your past entries could have all been in one post because there weren't any new scenes built. More store was told, but there wasn't anything new to judge for XP. Or, you could build new hallways and meeting rooms for your story to take place in. Quote
James Wellington Posted January 28, 2015 Author Posted January 28, 2015 (edited) Ah, alright. I did get them out a little fast, but I worked really hard to try to get my story out there. Those silly blaster malfunctunctions Edited January 28, 2015 by James Wellington Quote
Lord Tyrus Posted January 28, 2015 Posted January 28, 2015 Typical Empire employees to believe anyone who tells them it was just a weapon malfunction You are churning these freebuilds out really fast, but your story is still keeping me coming back for more. One thing I would recommend, since you are only allowed to get XP for 4 freebuilds per episode, is to tell more story per freebuild. A couple of your past entries could have all been in one post because there weren't any new scenes built. More store was told, but there wasn't anything new to judge for XP. Or, you could build new hallways and meeting rooms for your story to take place in. You took the words out of my mouth! Nice story, though I think less builds and more story in each would make it easier to understand. Quote
markus1984 Posted January 28, 2015 Posted January 28, 2015 Again a nice story! The last freebuilds are also great. I can only say again that the MOC`s a little bit small but the photos tell perfect your story! Good job! markus Quote
James Wellington Posted January 28, 2015 Author Posted January 28, 2015 Again a nice story! The last freebuilds are also great. I can only say again that the MOC`s a little bit small but the photos tell perfect your story! Good job! markus Thanks! Glad you like it! Quote
Commander Smith Posted February 11, 2015 Posted February 11, 2015 Nice storyline. I'll try to incorporate this story-ness into my builds too. Quote
James Wellington Posted February 11, 2015 Author Posted February 11, 2015 (edited) Thanks, glad to hear! Edited February 11, 2015 by James Wellington Quote
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