[M-B04] Fiery Passions

CMP · June 7, 2015

Following an appointment made last week, I was invited by Special Agent Myra Dynarski to attend the interrogation of the first of many unknown hostiles she captured earlier. Suspecting further Octan sabotage of a pleasant evening I reviewed security protocol on the new asteroid-based lab to be used thirty seven times, removed a potential cleaning hazard, and consumed three liters of charisma-enhancing Galactic Juice provided by our new supply lines through Linopeia III. I also used [REDACTED] deciliters of [REDACTED] brand hair gel and had Sixer cue up several tracks of romantic music before realizing he was likely not appropriate for social situations. Before eliminating the aforementioned Octan mole, however, a brief interrogation revealed he had a significant amount of information accumulated on key M.A.N.T.I.S. personnel. Said information was deleted, but a few key facts piqued my interest. First, Executive Scientist Big Sal has not received a haircut in approximately four years. Second, Special Agent Dynarski was supposedly partial to the incredibly rare and impossibly lethal cardioimpetus rubiflora.

The flowers are said to bud only off a parent tree when it has reached the age of roughly seventeen thousand years. I had the science nerds do some research and locate a specimen on Barnius. I convinced my superiors to greenlight the mission as in the wrong hands, cardioimpetus rubiflora can be a lethal instrument. I tactfully explained that we simply could not let the tree live. Poison can be very unstable in the hands of a coward and remarkably flexible in the hands of a beautiful woman, and Octan has an army of one and none of the other. One rapid deployment later and me and Sixer got our first taste of Barnius: sheer mountain faces and a lot of forest.

I'm told the trees in this region of Barnius are ancient. They've grown a thick canopy that you'd need a plasma cannon to cut through, and have mutated glowing, almost gem-like flower buds to compensate for the lack of sunlight to the smaller plants inside these impenetrable forests. Supposedly these "Emerald groves" of Barnius are something special to see. Supposedly there's one cardioimpetus rubiflora parent tree there. Supposedly it's one of the top fifty romantic dating sites in the entire galaxy The science nerds tell me that the sheer, unspoiled beauty and awe-inspiring majesty of this grove would melt most girls' heart.

Maybe at one point this is was all true, but luckily for me, my date has a more refined taste.