Exetrius Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 (edited) In the Darklands of Historica, a mage is training hard to get stronger. He is still young, but Exetrius is determined to become as strong as his father, known as the great wizard Onicius. He is a remarkable figure, worthy a story of his own. This is the beginning of the Onicius prologue. Onicius prologe Part 1: The village raid The story unfolds in a little, peaceful town in Khaliphlin. Nowadays, it is probably long gone under the sands or destroyed by the raging civil war. About four decades ago, a white-haired boy was watching the activity in the street in front of his parents house. It was around noon and his younger sister had run off somewhere to play in the blazing heat. He had warned her not to do so, but the brat wouldn't listen. He sat back in the shade and enjoyed the slow-paced life in the village. A little while later, he climbed down the ladder and went inside the house to get himself some bread. He heard some faint sounds of a neighing horse and a approaching carriage, outside the village's wall. Those were followed by clattering of metal: armored men were running into the village. Then, he heard a loud bang. A figure in black robes had struck the guard on duty like a fire bolt. In the meantime, the armored intruders were storming the street. Anxious but curious, Onicius opened the front door, which revealed the gruesome fate of the drunk guard who had been sitting at the corner of the house.... He immidiately shut and locked the door, every muscle in his body was trembling. He felt sick. He waited for the street to subside. In the distance he heard a familiar girl scream. His sister! He rushed outside, the intruders had almost made their way out of town, but Onicius was able to recognize his sister in the distance. The bastards were dragging here and some other boy along! He ran after them as fast as his feet allowed him, but his efforts were in vain.... To be continued.... in the next part: A merchant's knowledge Bonus shots: Thanks for checking out, C&C appreciated Edited February 16, 2016 by Exetrius Quote
Jacob Nion Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Oh, you already started building- that's great! You've done a good job on that house. I especially like the well, and the way it is embedded in the corner in the shadow of the palm free just looks so natural and realistic, one can really imagine the village. What I don't like is the cliffhanger- I want immediately to read further Looking forward to see many more chapters! Quote
Blufiji Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 Excellent start to your journey in Historica. The build is quite nice as well. Quote
Exetrius Posted June 11, 2015 Author Posted June 11, 2015 (edited) I especially like the well, and the way it is embedded in the corner in the shadow of the palm free just looks so natural and realistic, one can really imagine the village. What I don't like is the cliffhanger- I want immediately to read futher Thank you! That corner is probably my most favorite part of the build, I got inspiration from, well.. any little village in the south of France Luck was on my side because the (real) sunshine really adds to the scene. I expect to have the next part up within a few days :) MKJoshA Posted Today, 01:55 AM Great beginning to a story and good build! Blufiji Posted Today, 05:32 AM Excellent start to your journey in Historica. The build is quite nice as well. Thanks! Both the build and the story were quite a lot of fun :) Edited June 11, 2015 by Exetrius Quote
Puvel Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 Have to agree with the well looking very good. The changing facial expressions are also a nice touch! Looking forward to the rest of the story Quote
Captain Braunsfeld Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 Fine build and fine story telling. Expressions on minifigs and posing are excellent! Quote
LittleJohn Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 Excellent work! The fountain and awning on top of the building are great Looking forward to the next part of the story Quote
Balbo Posted June 11, 2015 Posted June 11, 2015 (edited) That's nice! I really enjoyed reading the story and looking at the build. I'm looking forward seeing the next part of the story Edited June 11, 2015 by Balbo Quote
Full Plate Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Great job on that house! Nice and detailed. Like many others I also like the fountain in the corner, and I like your effort to make a dust trail after the wagon's wheels. Adds the feeling that the wagon is going pretty fast, which I suppose it would have to if Onicius couldn't catch up to it Well done! Quote
Captain Dee Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 That's a lovely setting with lots of nice details and it illustrates the story well. The use of sunlight and strong shadows fits the description, although it also obscures part of the scene. The fleeing wagon looks pretty good and I also like the stones being thrown up behind. There are lots of stories going on and this sounds interesting. Good start! Quote
MassEditor Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Nice build and welcome to GoH! Great little scene, looks like we Nocturnians are making ourselves quite at home in Kaliphlin! I like how many details you were able to pack in such a small footprint. The wooden supports on the corners of the building are a nice touch, as is the water fountain. Like Jacob said, I very much look forward to seeing this saga continue! Quote
Exetrius Posted June 15, 2015 Author Posted June 15, 2015 Have to agree with the well looking very good. The changing facial expressions are also a nice touch! Looking forward to the rest of the story Fine build and fine story telling. Expressions on minifigs and posing are excellent! Excellent work! The fountain and awning on top of the building are great Looking forward to the next part of the story Great job on that house! Nice and detailed. Like many others I also like the fountain in the corner, and I like your effort to make a dust trail after the wagon's wheels. Adds the feeling that the wagon is going pretty fast, which I suppose it would have to if Onicius couldn't catch up to it Well done! That's a lovely setting with lots of nice details and it illustrates the story well. The use of sunlight and strong shadows fits the description, although it also obscures part of the scene. The fleeing wagon looks pretty good and I also like the stones being thrown up behind. There are lots of stories going on and this sounds interesting. Good start! Nice build and welcome to GoH! Great little scene, looks like we Nocturnians are making ourselves quite at home in Kaliphlin! I like how many details you were able to pack in such a small footprint. The wooden supports on the corners of the building are a nice touch, as is the water fountain. Like Jacob said, I very much look forward to seeing this saga continue! Thanks a lot everyone for the positive feedback ! I learned a lot in the field of building by checking the GoH forum regularly for the past year. You guys gave me some great inpiration Btw, the next part of this prologue will (probably) be up this evening! Quote
soccerkid6 Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 Very good work, both the builds are story are excellent The house is particularly cool, great touch with the fountain! Glad to have you in GoH, and I"m looking forward to seeing more builds from you Quote
Schreeuwwitje Posted July 11, 2015 Posted July 11, 2015 Awesome! Really like the story supporting the build and vise versa. Quote
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