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Posted

Somewhere above your stink and my farts I sense an evil presence. I think it's coming from the ship's cargo. I remember when I was in cub scouts we were taught that urine wards off evil. I've had four bottles of whiskey and only sloshed my pants twice, so I'll just pee on the cargo and hopefully it'll ward the evil away from this place.

Sing me a song. I can't pee without music...

Posted
Sing me a song. I can't pee without music...

Dirty Creature come my way from the bottom of a big black lake

Shuffles up to my window making sure I'm awake

S'probably gonna pick my brain

Got me in a vice-like grip

He said one slip, your dead. Ha.

Dirty Creature of habit

Little horror here to stay

Anyone in his right mind would tell it to go away

but the river of dread runs deep

full of unspeakable things

The creature don't mess around

I don't wanna mess with him

I don't wanna sail, I don't wanna sail

I don't wanna, I don't wanna sail tonight

Dirty Creature's got me at a

disadvantage from the inside.

That help Capt'n?

Posted

Yes...perfect...just keep singing one more ve...

*slosh*

What was that? :'-(

Oops! Sorry Scotty. :-$ That's the first time I've sloshed another man's pants...

Posted
Oops! Sorry Scotty. :-$ That's the first time I've sloshed another man's pants...

Ahh, don't worry! I felt the same way my first time too. I cross swords all the time and it is a job hazard! X-D

Tentacles on the brain keep me from falling asleep

I'm rooted to the spot

The beast don't know when to stop

Sneaking up from behind

Binds and gags my wits

Dirty Creature got my head exactly where he wants it

I don't wanna sail, I don't wanna sail,

I don't wanna, I don't wanna sail tonight,

Taniwha is waiting for me just below the surface so bright (Yeah)

Even as we speak the Dirty Creature springs a nasty surprise.

Posted
I didn't say stop!

Dirty Creature knows my type found it in a magazine

He's seen the look of fear before splattered all over the screen

The animal magnet thug draws me out of myself

I need a dragon-slayer who can save me from myself

I don't wanna sail, I don't wanna sail,

I don't wanna set sail for the middle of nowhere tonight

Dirty Creature's got me at a disadvantage from the inside (Yeah)

I don't wanna sail upon the waters of invention tonight

....er, that's the end of the song Capt'n. Surely you're finished by now? You must know what they say about too much shaking...

Posted

I know what I'm doing... :-$ just don't look. Good thing this fog is so thick. >:-)

This is the life isn't it Scotty, singing, drinking whiskey, peeing, farting...

Aaah...life doesn't get any better.

Granted we could be somewhere besides a creepy sabotaged freighter shrouded in a suffocating and somehow life-like fog being stalked by a mythical Creature of the Deep with a mysterious evil cargo that seems to be driving us all mad.

*fart* :-$ :-$ *fart* *fart* I'm really scared. I should go lay down...

Posted
Here you guys are...

Ich was following a strange noise, sounded like continuous farting...

Could that be a sea monster?

It's just the skipper and me. He is sleeping here... and farting. What's all this talk of sea monsters? I've been a sailor for 30 years and the only monster I saw was in Fiji. Wow, what a woman. *wub*

Posted

*fart*

Now let's not get into who smells like what...

I think we should get back inside the ship before the unseen evil from the mysterious cargo starts messing with our brains and we all kill each other.

We could play The Love Boat board game! *wub*

Posted
I think we should get back inside the ship before the unseen evil from the mysterious cargo starts messing with our brains and we all kill each other.

I agree, but which way is back? You can't see anything in this damned fog.

Whatever we do, I think we should stay together.

Posted

I need to sleep for about 8 hours. I'll just lay down right here on the deck. If you go anywhere just drag me along with you. Wake me up if you see evil so I can run, okay?

Stinky, will you sing me to sleep? :'-)

Posted

Um. Okay, captain. 8-|

*sing*

Our friend Lazarus sleeps.

Her lips shake with every...

With every word.

You were my favorite.

We both know our love will never end.

Conform me in...

Into the wicked;

Into the fallen mass grave.

Four-legged dancers.

Posted
I need to sleep for about 8 hours. I'll just lay down right here on the deck. If you go anywhere just drag me along with you. Wake me up if you see evil so I can run, okay?

Stinky, will you sing me to sleep? :'-)

You used to ask me Capt'n. :'-( I think I will do the same just the same, but on the other side of the deck. See you all in about 8 hours!

Posted

Myself and Mr. Doohan are taking shifts working on the engine, but I can't last an entire shift without a ciggie. So even though it's my shift, I've decided to sneak up on deck for a cigarette break. Whup? What's this? I've just tripped over something in the fog! Something big! I'll just light a match to see what it is. It's the Captain, and he's out cold! Eeeek!

*Runs headlong into the fog*

Uoop? I've tripped over something else. It's Mr. Doohan, and he's out cold too! There are bodies everywhere! It's like the set of a horror movie! Waaaaaaaa!

*Runs off and disappears into the fog*

Posted

*stomps in huffing and snorting*

CAPTAIN! I have a COMPLAINT. I was woken up from my stasis nap by a LEAK. My cabin is LEAKING. Look at my official Enterprise jammies! They were in PERFECT (used) condition, and now they're all...red. Someone thought it would be funny to leak red sheep's blood into my cabin. Oh I get it, let's sacrifice the virgi-

er, nerd. Let's sacrifice the NERD. HA-HA so funny I FORGOT. TO. LAUGH. *snort*

Posted
*stomps in huffing and snorting*

CAPTAIN! I have a COMPLAINT. I was woken up from my stasis nap by a LEAK. My cabin is LEAKING. Look at my official Enterprise jammies! They were in PERFECT (used) condition, and now they're all...red. Someone thought it would be funny to leak red sheep's blood into my cabin. Oh I get it, let's sacrifice the virgi-

er, nerd. Let's sacrifice the NERD. HA-HA so funny I FORGOT. TO. LAUGH. *snort*

Ain't your cabin below the chef's kitchen? Perhaps we should go look around in the kitchen to see if there's a reason for the leak... 8-|

Posted
*stomps in huffing and snorting*

CAPTAIN! I have a COMPLAINT. I was woken up from my stasis nap by a LEAK. My cabin is LEAKING. Look at my official Enterprise jammies! They were in PERFECT (used) condition, and now they're all...red. Someone thought it would be funny to leak red sheep's blood into my cabin. Oh I get it, let's sacrifice the virgi-

er, nerd. Let's sacrifice the NERD. HA-HA so funny I FORGOT. TO. LAUGH. *snort*

you want me to clean it up, right? :'-(

Posted
Ain't your cabin below the chef's kitchen? Perhaps we should go look around in the kitchen to see if there's a reason for the leak... 8-|

Morning! I am always saying to the Capt'n that the Galley needed better plumbing. No one listens to me. :'-( I think we should check out the Galley; I'm hungry anyway...

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