[SoNE Freebuild] Is it a trap?

[MontyPython]

The next target was a Calamari politician on Fondor. He should be alone in the hangar. But when I came there, the place seemed to be deserted. But was it really?

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Edit: Please, judge this, if possible.

Edited January 28, 2016 by MontyPython

[dooberfloober]

npu w/ the tri collums but what is the deal with the long neck man

[MontyPython]

I tried to make an Amani bounty hunter. That's why he has longer arms, longer neck and a spear.

[MKJoshA]

Ooo! I like your walls and the pillars snoted at the top! And did you mean to make this a freebuild or a BH mission?

[MontyPython]

As a freebuild, thanks.

[BEAVeR]

Great job MontyPython: your creations are definitely improving!

What I noticed immediately in this build, was the use of some odd angles, like the boiler thing and the wall, that instantly give your creation more character, visual interest and sophistication. The same goes for the dark blue panels, which have an acceptable color for an industrial environment but still pop, especially with that white border around them. Finally, the pillars that are embedded in the wall make for a detail that makes you envious you didn't thought about that, without looking like some superfluous attempt at adding details. Especially with that subtle ridge beneath them caused by the SNOTted tiles it has a lot of sober interest in that area, so well played!

So you've assembled yourself quite a good amount of very decent bits and pieces in this creation, but in other areas it seems like your inspiration ran out. It's mostly the floor I'm talking about, with it's vast expanse of exposed studs. It's great you already tried to break it up by installing crates and bottles, without putting them in illogical places, but it's not enough. I'm not saying more boxes are the way to go though, as that will probably make your scene too cluttered. You could think of more subtle details, like markings, lights, or better even small ridges in logical places, maybe used as some kind of rail for a crane or something like that. I suggest you look at pictures of the hangars in the movies or even real hangars for inspiration: take your time to observe things, even if it's something as trivial as a floor.

I've already mentioned you have a lot of potential with all your bits and pieces. You have a lot of great ideas going, but it's a bit strange you leave some ideas 'unfinished' as it seems. Take that white stripe next to the door, for example. It serves nice as a bit of contrast to make the dark blue pop even more. So color wise, it's a great addition, however, composition wise it goes wrong. That white line jumps at the viewer, but it connects to nothing else really, so the viewer keeps staring at that white line initially, making the rest of the scene fade... That while you could use it as quite the contrary, as a viewfinder. That could be achieved simply by continuing the white line to run across the top of the door, so that the door gets framed completely. It would make sense functionally as well, as it would allow people and ships to find the exit even in low light.

Another way to make better use of that frame, would be to combine the contrast in color with a spatial contrast. The frame would pop even more if it'd literally pop from the wall by moving it a bit closer to the viewer. Again, it would make sense because an extra mechanism could be hidden in there or something like that. It would make the details more tangible and your creation less flat.

Other examples would be the angled wall, that's a nice idea, but has no story to tell. Right now, I can't really tell if it's actually like that in the hangar or that you made it as a way to show a cutout. I'd prefer the first option, as it would make your creation look bigger and interesting. To achieve that look, you'd have to add something to tell us there's something behind it. Maybe the grey wall continues on the other side of the white wall, of maybe you have a tilted wall that lines up with the white one, or maybe you could give us a hint of a huge door behind the white one. It doesn't have to be big necessarily, but it would sure expand your creation greatly. A final example would be the beams, which are sadly see-through. It would be simple to add some bricks behind them (potentially with a few grills in there) or even better lights!

Finally, a word about the composition. One of the reasons your good bits don't really connect in this one, is because it looks like they're standing in each other's way, and other areas look like they've been filled on an afterthought. So give everything space to breathe! Pull apart good bits that have nothing to do with each other, group bits that do. This scene could already look better if you had simply mirrored the back wall. Than the boiler wouldn't be in front of the door, and the pipe structure would connect perfectly to the boiler, connecting it more to the scene, because right now it stands loose, it doesn't seem to have any controls... and the door looses its purpose because it's opening is blocked for a significant part. Try to build up your scene organically instead of coming up with a number of good subbuilds and placing them together without much thought. Try really to design that hangar, building it as if you were an architect. Try to understand why things are as they are, in some way of thinking like: "So I want to build a hangar. What's the main thing it needs and that I want to show? A yes, a door. What is the function of this door? To allow things to enter and leave the hangar. What kind of things? Big things. So it should be big and unobstructed. etc. etc." Of course it's important to keep having fun building, but I find really designing and understanding things to be a fun part of it, especially as it tend to lead to better creations!

Hopefully that gives you some ideas on how to make all of your goodies come together in a nice scene, because they deserve to be seen in a nice setting! Also, make sure the presentation is up to par. In general, flash photography is not a good idea because of the unnatural, harsh shadows. And choosing a lower viewing angle would bring the action closer and would immediately solve the need to do detailed floors . But what's more important: keep on coming up with these lovely ideas!

[MontyPython]

Thank you very much, BEAVeR. You seem to know more about my build than I do! Just one thing ... That thing is not a boiler. It's ...well, a spaceship ...

And I know, there isn't a lot of quality in my photos. But I'm working on it ...

Edited February 19, 2016 by MontyPython

[Cody Startale]

A spaceship that looks like built out of a boiler? Now that's Star Wars if I've ever seen it!!

Love your build. Keep it up!

Edited February 19, 2016 by Poe Dameron

[Shadows of Nar Eurbrikka]

Judges have awarded you 3 XP!