[O - E02] Rumors

[pombe]

Location: E02 - Jurin II

Tags: Exploration, Spaceship, Land Vehicle, Civil Building

Dramatis Personae:

Octan

Pombe

Courageous, wise, and a gentleman extraordinaire, Pombe leads his intrepid team of explorers on adventurous adventures, in the name of profit for the Octan corporation and its shareholders. His list of achievements is long, from mentoring the now super undercover Octan explorer, Isabel Novak, to destroying all the cacti on New California, to rescuing Octan employees captured by aliens in Sinden's Run and recovering their pants from the dastardly "jeans stealers". He credits his success to his following in the footsteps of his explorer idols, Lu Caslaug-Hing and Wick Nole, even though Wick Nole is really an engineer. Despite Pombe's accomplishments, he still somehow gets reported to HR consistently by Dr. Danielle Long, whose ship, the O.C.S. Axle, Pombe and his team have taken residence aboard. His sister, Pombie, is a special forces agent for the rival M.A.N.T.I.S. corporation.

Eshey Reeshia Kolai

Pragmatic and logical, Eshey is Pombe's second apprentice, after Isabel Novak. Prior to joining Octan, she was a popular deejay and an absolute beast on the turntables. She applied to Octan, because she wanted a more stable income. She was taken on by Pombe as a temporary hire, despite not having any previous corporate industry experience, because she showed up at the job interview in Octan regulation approved attire. She initially showed promise as an explorer, but has since been disappointing to Pombe, having demonstrated paranoid and hostile behavior to all alien lifeforms, being labeled as "hard" during collaborative exploration missions with Ava Gato, a Kawashita inter-corporate relations officer, which Pombe interpreted as "being difficult", and just not understanding the situations as well as Eshey's new colleague, Normal Guy, who gives her the heebie jeebies. Despite these failings, Eshey has proven to be a remarkable sharpshooter. She has since become a permanent hire, as part of Octan's response to the alien fleet threat from Andromeda's core. She also has a huge crush on Octan engineer, Big Z.

Ethel Alkylhal

Originally from Mitgard, where she grew up on a farm and developed animal husbandry skills, she failed to find employment as an adventurer there and ended up wandering the spaceways looking for a job. She initially was turned down for the temporary hire position as Pombe's apprentice, which was given to Eshey, because Ethel showed up to the interview in her traditional Mitgardian attire and not something Octan regulation approved. Due to the alien fleet crisis, Pombe reached back out to her and offered her a permanent position on his exploration team. Her preferred armaments are her trusty battle axe and shield. Ethel tends to distrust technology and is extremely vulgar. She also loves to eat sausages. Commander of the O.C.S. Nut III.

Hombre

Sue Damoness

Sue was an ace pilot with Galaxy Squad's red team, having tallied numerous combat kills against the invading buggoid aliens. She was discharged honorably after deciding to leave Galaxy Squad after a certain incident. Immediately, she was courted by potential employers who wanted her skills as a pilot, but she decided to take up Pombe's offer, due to her intuition regarding Pombe's personal agenda: she didn't think he had one. Astute, but laid back, she often just goes with the flow in daily situations, but her habits learned from the military crop up from time to time with regards to adherence to protocols. She does take piloting seriously and enjoys the freedom that Pombe gives her regarding piloting decisions for the team.

Normal Guy/Beautiful Man

Normal Guy just sort of showed up one day and started following the crew around the Axle. Pombe, with his keen sense of observation, noticed this, and realized that he needed to help find Normal Guy a girlfriend, so Pombe brought him onto the team. Since then, Normal Guy has been an indispensible member of the team, completely understanding the nature of the exploration situations and assisting Pombe better than anyone else. While the other team members seem unnerved by Normal Guy's presence, Pombe's high praise of Normal Guy have led them to keep their thoughts to themselves. Always caring for Eshey, he sacrificed himself to protect her from a hostile alien creature and was resurrected as Beautiful Man. Commander of the O.C.S. Head.

Ishmael Haverly

A former Merchant Confederate starfighter pilot and leader of Cobra squadron aboard the Betsy May. Though she adheres strictly to combat protocols and utterly respects the chain of command, she prefers to be called by her first name whenever addressed personally. She was the one who spotted a space whale during a routine CAP and reported it to Pombe and Eshey. As a Merchant Confederate pilot, she collaborated with Octan by submitting starfighter designs and test piloting the prototypes. She was hired by Pombe and is now an Octan employee and commander of the O.C.S. Nut I.

Bruce Vayne

A former Merchant Confederate starfighter pilot whose personal fighter is the T.U.M.B.L.E.R., short for Takeoff Ultra Missile Ballistic Laser Emergency Roustabout, which Eshey mistakes for a missile tank. As a Merchant confederate pilot, he operated out of the Betsy May, a light carrier class capital ship. In one incident, he was out on patrol looking for Zoid slaver activity when he crashed into an asteroid in the Fascini Cluster. Fortunately for him, Eshey and Pombe managed to rescue him and his T.U.M.B.L.E.R. from alien space ducks armed with knives that are indigenous to the asteroid. Like Ishmael Haverly, he has collaborated with Octan by submitting starfighter designs and test piloting the prototypes. He is now an Octan employee and commander of the O.C.S. Sack. His alter-ego is Tabman, since he always buys the drinks.

Kawashita

Ava Gato

A Kawashita inter-corporate relations officer who shared Kawashita technology with Octan alongside Kawashita engineer Alexander Vandangant. Ava also stayed aboard the Axle and worked with Eshey on exploration assignments for a while when Pombe was busy debriefing a Kawashita marketing and sales team on Jurin II. Competent and honorable, Ava assisted and followed Eshey's instructions, highly praising Eshey to Pombe upon his return. She has since returned to Kawashita to continue her other assignments.

M.A.N.T.I.S.

Isabel Novak/Sammy Nelly Typhi

Deceased. Sammy Nelly Typhi was a M.A.N.T.I.S. special operations agent who infiltrated Octan as apprentice explorer, Isabel Novak, to get close to the famous explorer Wick Nole, even though he's an engineer, to learn Octan corporate secrets. Instead, she was assigned to Pombe, where she languished for two years under his mentorship. Finally having had enough, she used a special Octan exploration assignment to fake the death of her alter ego and to head back to M.A.N.T.I.S. space to report of her failure. Unfortunately for her, her spaceship had a malfunction due to the engines being only attached by a single stud, and she was forced to crash land on the planet of Xerillian. Pombe found the remains of her wrecked spaceship and sent a report back regarding Isabel's status. Octan special forces agent, Jebediah O'Reilly, and his team were dispatched to take care of Sammy once and for all, ensuring Octan secrets would not make it back to M.A.N.T.I.S..

Pombie

A natural leader with an eye for talent, Commander Pombie is the head of an elite crack special operations team for the M.A.N.T.I.S. corporation. She has gained a reputation for taking employees that would otherwise be considered misfits and outcasts, identifying their talents, and molding them into terrifyingly efficient operatives. Her leadership style is brutal and cold, but nevertheless, her team are completely loyal to her because she took the time to identify and acknowledge each of their individual aptitudes after they were dismissed by others. Her brother, Pombe, is an explorer for the rival Octan corporation.

Cassandra

A powerful psychic with the ability to take over and control the bodily actions of multiple minifigures at once. She acquired this ability as a test subject during one of Big Sal's "employee weaponization" projects for M.A.N.T.I.S., but was rejected and discarded because she did not develop the ability to shoot lasers out of her eyes, or mouth, or hands...or from anywhere really. Unwanted and suffering from depression, she dwelled in the basements of M.A.N.T.I.S. corporate buildings, subsisting on vending machine food, sleeping in conference rooms, and showering in gym locker rooms, until Pombie discovered her by chance and recognized her talent and brought Cassandra onto her team. Since then, Cassandra has been utterly and completely loyal to Pombie, referring to Pombie as "mistress" and obeying her commands without question.

Neko-chan

A girl who is half minifigure and half cat alien. She grew up with her mother, and never knew who her father was. Because of her beauty and lithe gracefulness, she was hired by Kawashita to be a spokesmodel for their products. She proved to be hugely popular with Kawashita's customer demographic, driving up Kawashita profits astronomically through her marketing efforts. Despite the success and fortune she earned as a spokesmodel, deep down, Neko-chan felt exploited by the Kawashita corporation, who she felt only wanted to use her for her looks. Really, all she wanted to do was to hit others with her huge and impossibly heavy hammer, which is she able to produce out of seemingly nowhere. One day, she ran away from home, and fled to the Andromeda Galaxy, where she felt no one could find her and she could hit anyone she wanted with her hammer. Unfortunately, she quickly used up her fortune dining on fish expensively exported to Andromeda and became destitute. Neko-chan was discovered in the slums of Torresta by Pombie, who recognized her talents, and offered her employment where she could hit people with her hammer. Neko-chan happily accepted and has been loyal to Pombie ever since.

Simon...I mean, Mephistopheles, lord of the 1337 H4XX0Rs

A geeky and awkward teenager who was recognized as a prodigy in computer programming early on. Unfortunately, his abrasive personality, combined with his social awkwardness, led him to being kicked out of one team to the next. Pombie took him onto her team realizing that she needed his talent, but was initially unsure of how her team would handle him. Being a hormone driven teenage boy, he, of course, was caught trying to peep on the attractive girls of the team, Cassandra and Neko-chan. However, instead of having to issue some sort of disciplinary action, Pombie realized that the ladies could handle themselves. Cassandra simply made him punch himself in the genitals repeatedly until he passed out and Neko-chan destroyed the harddrives with his porn collection with her hammer. Since then, he's behaved himself and so long as he's referred to by his proper name, he'll follow Pombie's commands. Oddly enough, he has shown no interest in either Commander Pombie nor the other woman on the team, Scooter.

Scooter

Scooter is the team's pilot, though she wasn't originally trained as a pilot. She started out as a low level M.A.N.T.I.S. administrator, dealing with employee training documents. Quiet and awkward, she mostly just kept to herself and did her job. An avid videogamer, anime and manga junkie, and dedicated cosplayer, she was just working to support her hobbies. She was reassigned to Andromeda and during her trip out, she was incidentally placed on the same shuttle as Pombie. During the journey, the pilot of the shuttle had a sudden heart attack and died. Because of her experience playing space simulators, Scooter recognized the controls of the shuttle and took over and safely navigated the shuttle through a freak asteroid storm. Pombie, amazed at what she saw, commented that Scooter piloted the shuttle "like a leaf on the wind" and promptly offered her a position on her team as a pilot. She has served proudly as the pilot of the team ever since.

Zoid Mafia

Joey Lucchese

An enforcer for Don Maggiano who has a severe dislike for the Octan corporation due to Octan's aiding the Merchant Confederation, which the Zoid raided for slaves.

Mugsy

I'm Bugsy.

Bugsy

Um...I'm Mugsy.

Previously:

http://www.eurobrick...howtopic=120692

Currently, on Jurin II....

Why are we in this jungle again? And why didn't we bring any weapons? HOLY AVOCADO, THERE'S AN ALIEN RIGHT THERE AND WE HAVE NO WEAPONS!!!

Calm down, Eshey. First, that alien is harmless. Second, I agreed to meet him unarmed. Anyways, this is the location, he should be here soon.

Who will be here soon?

Sir! A M.A.N.T.I.S. ground vehicle is approaching your location! Should I waste it?

No, Sue, stand down. That's our contact. Return to the Shaft, Eshey and I'll be fine.

Copy that, sir. See you back aboard.

This must be him now.

Greetings, Pombe. We've communicated through secret channels, but let me introduce myself in person. I'm Balthazar von Habibi, vice president of M.A.N.T.I.S. ultra-super-secret operations.

Nice to finally meet you in person, Balthazar. Of course, I'm Pombe, and this is my associate, Eshey Reeshia Kolai.

Nice to meet you, Mr. von Habibi. Um...how did you get out of your vehicle? It has no visible means of entry or exit.

You'll have to excuse my associate, Balthazar. She's Octan's lowest performing employee.

Not at all, Pombe. In fact, I commend you for bringing her along to expose her to some real company work. Most corporate higher ups only spend time and effort on their superstars. I think only excellent leaders bother with the hopelessly useless.

Anyways, let's get down to business. I need to confirm things that I've heard about your employees. Interesting things...about how they treat the local peoples here in Andromeda...this is the type of thing that could change how Octan does business with M.A.N.T.I.S.. Because of the veracity of these rumors, I needed to keep this communication traceless, which is why I wanted to meet here like this.

Well...everyone knows that M.A.N.T.I.S. has a rather unsavory reputation. It's something of a public relations and marketing failure, unfortunately. Our employees behave no differently than yours or Kawashita's. We are actively working to present a kinder, friendlier M.A.N.T.I.S. to the public. I'm sure these rumors you've heard are a result of a false perception of us and are probably overblown.

No, Balthazar. I've heard firsthand from trusted Octan employees that...M.A.N.T.I.S. employees are...drapers.

Wait, that's not what....

Sigh...I guess the secret's out.

What?!

Yes, it's a closely guarded M.A.N.T.I.S. secret. Our corporate culture promotes a love of drapery, and all M.A.N.T.I.S. employees are required to undergo a drapery short course at the beginning of their employment. In fact, our drapes are the most beautiful and the highest quality anywhere, and we take great pride in them.

I see, the rumor is true then.

It is.

Then I want to place a very large order for drapes. Octan has a lot of windows.

I'm lost.

You're right, she's a lousy employee. However, I am happy to fulfill your order for drapes. Come, climb in. I'll take you somewhere I think you'll like.

How did we get in here? There are no doors!

See, we have a hidden drape factory here on Jurin II. It's hidden inside this cave up ahead.

Clever. No one would think to look in a cave for a drape factory.

Then I trust that you will not reveal our secret location here.

Of course.

Welcome to the show room. You can see for yourself our latest line of drapes.

What beautiful dresses!

Yes, Ms. Kolai. We drape women as well as windows.

Perfect, then I would like to make a large order of dresses, as well. This will be a personal purchase, however, unlike the drapes for windows.

As for the drapes, it is vital that the drapes match the carpet.

Of course! The drapes must always match the carpet.

But...your hair is green....

And yes, my drapes do match my carpet.

You must show me sometime.

It would be my pleasure.

I...wow...um...wait...why can I see the sky and the clouds through the windows? Aren't we in a cave?

Your failure to observe astounds, Ms. Kolai. These are just projected images to best present the drapes to potential customers. I'll be sure to put your name on M.A.N.T.I.S.'s do not hire list.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Meanwhile....

There are too many buckets to choose from! Which one should my brother kick?

NOTE TO JUDGES: The above build is recycled.

Maybe just to cover our bases, we should just have him kick all of them.

That's a good idea, Scooter.

Comments and criticisms are all welcome!

Edited February 8, 2016 by pombe

[Jody Meyer]

Carpet and drapes should always match...HA, great build, love the show room and micro build.

[Kodan Black]

The puns are fantastic! Some great parts usage on your micro build! The interior of the cave micro was particularly well done also. Love the showroom too! You and Sal have the most consistently amusing threads!!!

[SpacerSteve]

Awesome story. I love how pombe wages war. He buys draperies :)

Edited February 8, 2016 by SpacerSteve

[dooberfloober]

WHY is the man NAKED NOT acceptable for children

-- dog lover -- make amereca great again -- GOD BLESS --

[Big Sal]

Amazing and hilarious build, as always! My favourite part is the alien getting squashed

Um, so I'm genuinely unsure if the reply above mine is serious, but I enjoy it very much either way

[LucasLaughing]

Great microscale factory - NPU with the car grille piece - and those micro trees are nice too.

Um, so I'm genuinely unsure if the reply above mine is serious, but I enjoy it very much either way

I looked through his profile ... honestly can't tell if he's trolling or not

[Isundir]

What really stands out for me is the Micro, everything looks good but the Micro just looks great

[Andromedas Gates]

The judges awarded you 5 points