[M - F03] Mission A5F03

[Big Sal]

Location: F03, Forring

Tags: Land Vehicle, Spying

If our intelligence is right, the aliens should be arriving to meet the Octan delegation any minute now.

Yeah. Y’know, I have this horrible feeling I’ve forgotten something…

This is so exciting! A new intelligent alien species!

Yeah!

Alright nerds, don’t get too excited. You’re here to learn quietly – when the aliens get here, let me do the talking. You scientists aren’t properly trained in PR.

But how are we supposed to study the aliens without talking to them?

I don’t care. Octan needs new allies – I don’t want you offending them by asking how many kidneys they have, or whatever.

AHHHH!

What the-?

Where did that come from?!

<Do not be alarmed, humans.>

That voice… it’s in my head!

<Yes. We speak directly by thought.>

Uh, Sal, do you think it can read our minds?

Probably not… still, better keep your mind blank. That should be easy for you.

Hey!

Heh heh heh.

Greetings from Octan Corporation! We hope to begin a profitable relationship with your race. May we ask what you call yourself?

<Our name is a concept that your minds cannot understand. From your limited perspective, ‘the Five’ would be an appropriate approximation.>

Hahaha, it thinks Octan are too stupid to understand numbers!

‘The Five’. My apologies, but is that the name of your race, or the name of you the individual?

<It is… challenging… to explain in a way you can understand. Let us tell you the story of our race.>

Ugh, I can tell this is going to take a while.

<This planet was not always the toxic wasteland that you see around you.>

Wait, what?

<In ancient times it was a simpler place. Five species lived here peacefully. Over the millennia we grew advanced. But then a cataclysmic event occurred and the atmosphere changed. Dozens, then hundreds, then thousands of new species arose. The ground itself was colonised by these messy, primitive lifeforms that you see around you.>

The… plants?

<Despite our advanced minds we were unable to compete with the wildly proliferating life. Everything changed too quickly. We had evolved slowly. We were not able to adapt. As our cities crumbled, the last remnants of our races built this vehicle to house the survivors.>

So… you are the survivors of all five species? In this one… machine?

<As far as it is possible for you to understand, yes.>

Uh… right. So anyway, Octan Corporation would be happy to trade or-

<We have no interest in trade. We seek to warn you. There is one among the leaders of your Clan of Eight whose mind is more powerful than any other. More powerful even than ours.>

I knew it!

What?

Don’t you see? They’re talking about me!

Uh… but they said the Clan of Eight.

Yes, clearly they mean the Council of Five, plus the current and past CEOs of M.A.N.T.I.S.

I kinda figured they meant Octan…

<Already this mind is starting to warp the very fabric of space and time. It must be stopped before irreparable damage is done.>

Yeah, I really don’t think this is about you Sal…

Nonsense! I always suspected I was special!

<Humans! We told you to send three!>

We did! There are three of us here.

<No. We sense others. From the Clan of Six.>

The Clan of Six?

<Yes. The ones who take the image of the six-legged creatures.>

Uh oh.

MANTIS!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Thanks for reading! Sorry it was a bit text heavy - there were supposed to be a few more photos but they didn't come out right and I didn't have time to retake them. C&C welcome

Edited March 27, 2016 by Big Sal

[SpacerSteve]

Obviously they were talking about big Sal. :D hilarious story this week.

[Andromedas Gates]

The judges awarded you 5 points.