Brickwolf Posted April 22, 2016 Posted April 22, 2016 (edited) Location: Kuat Drive Yards Promenade Deck "Look for the rebels" What a stupid order is this! The rebels won´t wear uniform here and they won´t have tattooed "rebel" on their foreheads for sure! Relax, we are out of the star destroyer for the first time in month. We can stroll around on the promenade deck while pretending to look for rebels. Life is good, enjoy it. Especially after what happened on the Suprosa. You are drinking! We have to fly today! Yeah, ferrying some technicians down to the surface. I can fly this mission drunk and blind! You are drinking often since we got out of the Bacta Tank. Everytime I close my eyes, I see the face of this Imperial, who got us on the Suprosa. No wonder I am drinking. You always meet twice, rebel scum! (Microscale ship behind the windows is recycled and should not be judged) Edited April 29, 2016 by Brickwolf Quote
LucasLaughing Posted April 23, 2016 Posted April 23, 2016 Lol, nice story - you *almost* made me feel some sympathy for the rebel I like all your dialogue, though - it does a good job fleshing out the characters in just a few lines. I also really like your custom robot, and I think the "air" panel works well. I do have a few minor suggestions (since all builds are considered WIP's until the contest deadline). I think if you extended the scene 5 or 10 studs on either side, it would help your creation look more complete. You don't need to make anything super detailed - just enough so that we can't see the edges of the build. It looks like you use the same photo backdrop that I do (large pieces of cardstock-type paper?) I'd suggest picking up a few black sheets as well - I've found that the black background can really make "in space" scenes shine, and it also makes it easier to cut out the background in a photo editing program if you feel like putting the extra time in. Lastly, it looks like you have a sweet microscale ship in the background, but we can't see it very well. I'd suggest framing it a bit more in the window, and maybe tilting it at a slight angle? That way we can appreciate the detail you've built into it. Overall, though, this is a cool build and I'm interested to see where your story goes. Quote
Brickwolf Posted April 29, 2016 Author Posted April 29, 2016 (edited) Lol, nice story - you *almost* made me feel some sympathy for the rebel I like all your dialogue, though - it does a good job fleshing out the characters in just a few lines. Funny story. Good entry. Great dialogue Thank you! I do have a few minor suggestions (since all builds are considered WIP's until the contest deadline). I think if you extended the scene 5 or 10 studs on either side, it would help your creation look more complete. You don't need to make anything super detailed - just enough so that we can't see the edges of the build. It looks like you use the same photo backdrop that I do (large pieces of cardstock-type paper?) I'd suggest picking up a few black sheets as well - I've found that the black background can really make "in space" scenes shine, and it also makes it easier to cut out the background in a photo editing program if you feel like putting the extra time in. Thank you for your suggestions. Regrettably, I do not have the time to rebuild and reshoot, but your advice will be heeded in future builds. Lastly, it looks like you have a sweet microscale ship in the background, but we can't see it very well. I'd suggest framing it a bit more in the window, and maybe tilting it at a slight angle? That way we can appreciate the detail you've built into it. You can see the ship in all her beauty here. Edited April 29, 2016 by Brickwolf Quote
Tariq j Posted April 30, 2016 Posted April 30, 2016 Good build, I like the story and K think the background ship is a nice build and really pits the MOC in context of the location. Quote
Lord Tyrus Posted May 1, 2016 Posted May 1, 2016 Nice little build, it's a shame we cant see more of that great micro-ship through the window! Quote
goatman461 Posted May 2, 2016 Posted May 2, 2016 based on some of the aliens in TFA, that walrus fits in surprisingly well Quote
Forresto Posted May 5, 2016 Posted May 5, 2016 I like how diverse the scene is! The walrus oddly works for it! I think my one suggestion is if you're going to add a microscale ship you need to make sure it reads that way to people who have no idea what it is. Right now it looks sort've like its a store window display, perhaps if you used a black background just behind the ship and the windows it would work better? Great story! Always like to see character development! Quote
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