[soNE Freebuild] “We Are Being Boarded!”

[awesometoa]

“We Are Being Boarded!”

 

Aboard an Imperial medical frigate above Naboo

 

Imperial Crew:  

*Over com* -Bzzt- “All units report to Section C3! Repeat, All units report to Section C3” -Bzzt-

 

*Flashback Starts*

 

Stormtrooper #1 (Flashback):

“Rebels- Aghh!” *Shot in head by Rebel Soldier*

 

Stormtrooper #2 (Flashback):

“They’re Everywhere!”

AwesomeToa (Flashback):

“Die Rebel Scum- Aghh!” *Shot in arm by Rebel Soldier*

 

Imperial Crew (Flashback):

*Over com* -Bzzt- “We are being boarded! All personnel Evacuate! Report to your designated escape-” *Blaster fire heard over com* -Bzzt-

 

AwesomeToa (Flashback):

*Heavy Breathing* “No! Wait help me! I’m still alive! No! Please… help me…” *Blacks out*

 

Imperial Crew (Flashback):

*Over com* -Bzzt- “The rebel forces have taken the bridge! I repeat we have been boarded, all personnel to the escape pods!-Bzzt-

*Flashback Ends*

 

Shoretrooper Captain:
“Wake up!”

 

AwesomeToa:

*Heavy Breathing, Half Asleep* “Huh? Sorry sir.”

 

Imperial Crew:  

*Over com* -Bzzt- “We are being boarded, all units move to intercept the rebel forces in section C3” -Bzzt-

 

Shoretrooper Captain:
“All units means you too, get up! Here’s your blaster.”

 

AwesomeToa:

*Less Heavy Breathing* “Yes sir.”

 

 

 

 

AwesomeToa:

“Wait, section C3!? That section is filled with civilians!”

 

Shoretrooper Captain:
“Exactly, that’s why you have to move, now!”

 

Later, in section C3

 

Shoretrooper Captain:
*Over Loudspeaker* “Attention Rebels! Please release your hostages to us, we will not fire as you do so!”

 

Rebel Trooper:

“We don’t bargain with imperial Bucketheads!” *Shoots Shoretrooper Captain*

 

 

Shoretrooper Captain:
“Aghh!!!”

 

Stormtrooper #3:

“Medic! Somebody get a Medic!”

 

Imperial Navy Trooper:

“Fire!!! And don’t stop until every single rebel is dead!”

 

AwesomeToa:

“But sir, the civilians-”

 

Imperial Navy Trooper:

“-are of no concern to us. We have orders to kill these rebels and that's what we’ll do!”

 

AwesomeToa:

“Yes sir!”

 

 

Imperial Navy Trooper:

“We need reinforcements!”

 

Imperial Crew:  

*Over com* -Bzzt- “Reinforcements are on there way to your position now sir.” -Bzzt-

 

Two Death Troopers enter the hallway, one has a Thermal Detonator…

 

 

The Death Trooper throws the Thermal Detonator.

 

AwesomeToa:

“Take Cover!!!”

 

The Thermal Detonator explodes, killing the majority of the rebel fighters along with a dozen or so civilians, AwesomeToa is also knocked unconscious.

 

*Flashback Starts*

 

Stormtrooper #4 (Flashback):

“Run, to the escape pods!”

 

AwesomeToa (Flashback):

*Heavy Breathing* “No! Don’t leave! Don’t leave. Please, don’t leave...” *collapses to floor*

 

Imperial Crew (Flashback):

*Over com, slowly getting quieter (until silent at end)* -Bzzt- “All personnel to escape pods, we have been boarded! Escape pods launching in: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...”

 

*Flashback Ends*

 

 

*Out of Character*

Spoiler

Things to note:

• I used a Shoretrooper Captain rather than an Imperial Corporal (Black pauldron) mainly because the Imperial Crewmember said “all units” referring to all armed crew members.

• In the MOCs AwesomeToa has a round backpack on while in the thumbnail used for my character he has a more detailed backpack (which can be seen in his room), this was intentional.

 

 

Spoiler

More Pictures:

Overview:

Pt. I:

Pt. II:

Pt. III:

Pt. IIII:

Please Judge!

Edited December 30, 2016 by awesometoa
forgot *Flashback Starts* & *Flashback Ends* on flashback #2

[ChiefPie]

Interested in the rest of the story.

[awesometoa]

Thank you, once I get some time (and inspiration) I plan to give my character a little more backstory.

[Helghan]

The story has great promise but you need to work on the execution. 

1.) They're on a medical frigate so the floors should be smooth and uniform.

2.) Work on your perspective for the photos. Some of these could be great shots but the photo lacks quality/good forced perspective.

3.) You should try different lighting techniques and adding details to the builds themselves. It also would help to add unique posing of the figures so they don't seem so static or boring. Otherwise they're just figures on a plate.

 

Hope this helps! 

[awesometoa]

3 hours ago, Helghan said:

The story has great promise but you need to work on the execution. 

1.) They're on a medical frigate so the floors should be smooth and uniform.

2.) Work on your perspective for the photos. Some of these could be great shots but the photo lacks quality/good forced perspective.

3.) You should try different lighting techniques and adding details to the builds themselves. It also would help to add unique posing of the figures so they don't seem so static or boring. Otherwise they're just figures on a plate.

 

Hope this helps! 

1.) Ya, I wanted to make the ground look damaged by the fighting, I'd say I failed in that respect so next time, I'm defiantly going to try a smooth floor.

2.) After I took the photos I realized that I really shouldn't have used my iPhone 4...

3.) I just (stupidly) used natural light to take my photos... at 3:00 in the middle of winter...

 

Thank you for your feedback, I definitely need to work on this stuff, and get some real equipment!

[Merc4Hire]

Good read and the crowded hallway reminds me of the Tantive IV firefight from A New Hope. Looking forward to more. 

[Shadows of Nar Eurbrikka]

Judges have awarded you 2 XP!