8-Bit Ramen Posted March 1, 2017 Posted March 1, 2017 (This is my first entry, I'm not a great builder, but I hope that my story can help make up for that!) walking on akiva by Ryan Girard, on Flickr "I can't believe it's been a whole 5 years since I was last here," 8-Bit Ramen thought, as he walked through the gray-ish sand of Akiva. The young man had been walking for what felt like hours, though it may have been about 30 minutes. Either way, he was bored. In all of the time since he was last on Akiva, so much of his life had been given meaning. He joined the Rebel forces, and fought bucket heads for a living! It was awesome! cockpit by Ryan Girard, on Flickr After stealing a small medical ship, which he called the AzureWing, he flew it off for Hoth, as he had never seen snow before, and just wanted to. This was where he met a handful of rebels, who allowed him to follow them back to their base, as he had nothing better to do. hoth by Ryan Girard, on Flickr But after a while, the holidays had come, and it had been a good 3 months since the last time he was needed. I guess even Sith lords need a break once in a while. bring me my eggnog by Ryan Girard, on Flickr "Get me my eggnog," The boy thought in his best Darth Vader voice, as he trudged through the sandy mud. Anyway, he was bored during almost the whole holiday. It wasn't until recently that he finally figured out something to do. He wanted to go pay a little visit to his old owner. slave trade by Ryan Girard, on Flickr When he was as young as he could remember, he was a slave. His real name was Maxis. He never knew his parents, he could have been the Gungan prince for all he knew. But at around nine years of age he was bought for good by a man who had been at slave auctions for while. He was named Nicholas Tusspot. old mean nicholas by Ryan Girard, on Flickr He was horrible, and had a wretched, black heart. "And once you're done make sure you've goten home safely. Oh wait, you live in the shed outside!"child labor by Ryan Girard, on Flickr He had no sense of humor. mini city by Ryan Girard, on Flickr "I can't kill him. It's not the rebel way." He pondered as he walked on the dirt roads. shady shop by Ryan Girard, on Flickr "Even hurting him would be pretty bad." He thought the wisest thing to do would be to just approach him. After all, he was no longer Maxis. He went by his Rebel call sign, 8-Bit Ramen. Nicholas couldn't throw him back into the slave trade. But he still had a hand on his gun, just in case. He walked towards the old house with a hand on his bag. "I see him." 8-Bit Ramen approached the man, who was gardening outside. the old shack by Ryan Girard, on Flickr Maxis alt by Ryan Girard, on Flickr "Erm, hello." The old man looked up, squinting. He looked joyed, as if he had been waiting for this. What was he planning? Nicholas old by Ryan Girard, on Flickr "Oh my, Maxis, is that you? Come, come in for something to drink." For a while, Maxis thought he was in the wrong house. It looked nicer now than it ever did when he cleaned it. And he was a madman with a swiffer! tea time drinking by Ryan Girard, on Flickr Nicholas old by Ryan Girard, on Flickr "So how have you been in the past few years young man?" "Good." "So what brought you here today?" They chatted for a while, but at some point, 8-Bit Ramen had to ask. "Well... Okay. I'm sorry, but you've never been so kind to me." The man let out a sigh. "Boy, I hoped you would have forgotten about that by now." "Forgotten? I'll never forget the pain you put me through!" "I need to tell you something." "Oh let me guess? You're my father! Well guess what? That one's been done before!" "How did you know?!?!?" tea time surprise by Ryan Girard, on Flickr The looks on the two's faces were a balance of confused and awkward. After all, Maxis was just being a sarcastic millennial when he mentioned a possible relation. "You're joking right?" Nicholas cursed a lot. Like he had let out all that anger he hasn't shown for ages. "Look Maxis, my mother, you grandmother, was a powerful Sith lord. But, I was some kind of squib. I had none of the power that she did. They hated me and called me names. And I promised myself I would never treat my child that way. By my adulthood I had ran away and married a most beautiful girl." mommy issues by Ryan Girard, on Flickr "My mother?" couple photo by Ryan Girard, on Flickr "Indeed. I loved her so much. But she had died giving birth to you. I didn't want you. I thought that you had ruined my life. I gave you up for some slave trade. But something made me keep a close eye on you. One day I bought you. My agony of your mother's death as well as my own childhood trauma created my hatred of you. And when you ran away and I didn't come find you. I knew I made a mistake. And I spent these years hoping, praying, for your return. I taught myself that though I couldn't use it, the force was with me, and you." The man was tearing up, and Maxis would have been too if he wasn't so fixated on trying lift up objects with his mind... tea time recovery by Ryan Girard, on Flickr "I am so sorry son, and I love you." "I know." It was something that felt wrong, but Maxis forgave him. The two hugged before Maxis was off to head home. Boy did his life feel suddenly clear Quote
LegoRacer1 Posted March 2, 2017 Posted March 2, 2017 (edited) That a really interesting story. The builds are pretty good too. Edited March 2, 2017 by LEGORACER1 Quote
ChiefPie Posted March 2, 2017 Posted March 2, 2017 Very interesting story. Don't worry about how your builds look, we can use imagination for what they are supposed to look like. Que in "sponge bob saying imagination" Quote
MKJoshA Posted March 8, 2017 Posted March 8, 2017 That's quite the story you've got going! I'm not sure "squib" fits in the SW universe though. That's more a Harry Potter thing. But I like all the backstory you've created for your character and I'm looking forward to more! As for your builds, we all have to start somewhere! I would try using more bricks to create each scene to give it more of a fleshed out feel. The less of a bare baseplate you show the better. You're off to a good start, keep it going! Quote
Helghan Posted March 10, 2017 Posted March 10, 2017 I think there could be a lot more detail added to your builds and the dialogue shouldn't use so many pop references from our universe in our time. Not bad. Quote
Forresto Posted March 19, 2017 Posted March 19, 2017 When I started out doing this I realized one thing. I'm nowhere near as good a builder as some of the people on here so i'm going to rely on telling a good story. I like your story a bunch although I will echo the other people saying that you may want to tone down real world references a bit. It essentially ruins the reader's immersion but don't worry even the greatest EU stories such as the Thrawn Trilogy had moments of Luke drinking hot chocolate or someone mentioning coffee. I really dig your vignettes, especially the one of the town with a landed Venator. Quote
goatman461 Posted March 21, 2017 Posted March 21, 2017 I appreciate your enthusiasm for the stories, but I'd much rather see a single shot of a really well done 4x4 square than minifigs on a wide open base. If you do want to focus on story writing, I think you should explain the action in your story rather than having us try to imagine the scene around the characters. Think about the pictures that accompany novels, they don't show everything that's going on in the story but instead set the scene to immerse the reader Quote
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