AFOL with Spouses not into Lego, what's your agreement?

[FatherOf2Boys]

Between me and my older son (now 7), we've amassed close to 100 sets between us (most smaller City and Creator lines). My wife is not a fan. More than the money Lego requires (we can afford it) it's the space. We don't have that big of a place and I've carved out half a room to display and store. All my older son really plays with anymore is Lego and he and I both eye new sets longingly. I don't get any because my desire for new sets doesn't out-weigh my ability to deal with a tirade from my wife. I was just wondering if there's anyone else out there in my boat and if so, what sort of arrangement do you have with your spouse to keep both of you happy.

[Cobb]

I have an entire room dedicated to my hobbies (comics, statues, legoes). We have three kids, there's plenty of toys scattered around the house. She doesn't complain, I don't spend too much on my hobbies anymore.

I also have a fairly large aviary in the garden with canary's. So I guess my hobbies take up more space than I realize sometimes.

Edited March 9, 2018 by Cobb

[AFOLguy1970]

We are hoping to move to a larger house soon.  There is only a little display space on some shelves for sets and MOCs.  Everything else is in plastic bins beneath the beds and in the closet.  I still buy more sets, because I know eventually they will be displayed.  I would hate to miss out on a good set now even though we do not have space.  Therefore, as new sets are built, and an older one is disassembled, bagged, and placed in a bin somewhere.  Someday, I will have a dedicated room, and then there will be shelves and a town layout .  

[LucyCol]

I have my hobby room, it used to be his, but I've gradually squeezed him out  

[SirBlake]

We have one kid and a 3 bedroom house, so one room is full of me and my daughter's Lego, though probably 90% of what's in there is mine. My wife knows I work hard and this hobby is therapeutic. Plus, as hobbies go (Golf, fishing, whatever), it's really not that expensive and it keeps me from doing other, less constructive (pun intended, I guess) things.

So I guess the point is, it's a non-issue. 

[FatherOf2Boys]

Thank you all for your posts. We just moved (to a smaller place!  But much better school district ) So I lost the dedicated lego room which has increased the "too many legos!" I am retiring sets and I'll talk about making a more dedicated closet space for retired sets until we move.

[Giantorange]

'I've just bought this to part out and sell on Bricklink'.   To be replaced a few months later with 'This old thing?  I've had it for years, I've just built it back up again for display'.

 

 

[Marinho]

For me it's quite simple, I don't complaint about all the clothes she is buying, and she doesn't complain about my Lego.

Now seriously, some times I'm happy she just talks some sense into me, otherwise I would spend too much money on this hobby...

[sed6]

Maybe find your son a step-mom who likes Legos? Seriously, how can a wife (and mom) object to an activity that a father and son enjoy doing together, especially one as inane as Lego? Tell you what, pick another activity that you and your son can do together, like a violent sport, or something expensive or something that takes up much more room (maybe big game hunting and taxidermy, see how she feels about a stuffed Kodiak bear in her dining room); then suddenly your little Lego collection won't seem like such a big deal... 

[Harrilal]

The Lego is allowed out during D&D sessions (minifigures), otherwise it stays in my mancave. The exception is always when my neice and nephew visit. Then I get... I mean "they" get to play on the main floor. 

She has seen micro builds on Pinterest that she likes. So I may be getting a bun check of small pieces to build her a few for above the fireplace. 

[grum64]

I'm really lucky as Gilly is fully supportive of my hobby. I have my shed and am encouraged to get out there as often as I'm able. She has no problem with me buying sets and for my birthday this year bought me a 42069 & 42070 (and from our Sons & beautiful Grandchildren I got the 42065 & 42077). I'm a very, very lucky boy indeed.

Of course I could be wrong. Afterall, if I'm in my shed I'm out of Gilly's way and if I have a mouth full of LEGO I'm not talking 

 

Edited March 19, 2018 by grum64
Correction

[Capparezza]

Interesting. Everyone is either already having a dedicated LEGO room or is planning to move to a bigger home to get one. Seems hardly a single partner has problems with our LEGO addicition... or do they? Mine has already complained a couple times that I need to cut back my LEGO expenses, otherwise our flat will have an overflow of little ABS pieces. And yet I'm still struggling to get a dedicated building place, somehow (let's not talk about organized storage, eh?). Seems I will need to cut back other hobbies to make that real, at least that's what she says Seems I've come to an impass regardings this.

[JLSD]

20 hours ago, Capparezza said:

Interesting. Everyone is either already having a dedicated LEGO room or is planning to move to a bigger home to get one. Seems hardly a single partner has problems with our LEGO addicition... or do they? Mine has already complained a couple times that I need to cut back my LEGO expenses, otherwise our flat will have an overflow of little ABS pieces. And yet I'm still struggling to get a dedicated building place, somehow (let's not talk about organized storage, eh?). Seems I will need to cut back other hobbies to make that real, at least that's what she says Seems I've come to an impass regardings this.

Ok, time to chime in.  I got divorced 10 years ago and took my tools and...Lego (I omitted the "s" in Lego cause she took that with her).  I purchased a small home and moved the collection to the basement.  Interesting thing happened during my divorce...my two wonderful kids (aged 11 and 13 at the time) decided to stay with their dad...hmmm, i wonder if Lego had any part to do with their decision....

[dr_spock]

The agreement is I stay within my small corner in the basement.  I don't have much room for display.  But I joined a LUG.  My builds are displayed at their events. The rest of the time they are stored away in boxes in my corner between events.

 

 

[danth]

Our agreement is I get to play with childrens' toys, and she gets to make fun of me. It's a win win.

[zoth33]

I have a man cave that I have all my lego in.  My kids have there own collections.  I'm currently in the process of cleaning my basement and that will clear up space to move the small foosball table out of my man cave that will clear up space for more storage containers and shelves.  My wife has her spa days and does things with her friends.  Happy wife = happy life.  

[murtaughf3]

I'd say my wife is pretty neutral for the most part. Once in a blue moon she will want to build something. I love building but do it rarely simply because I have very limited space, I've got a small shelf to display, enough room for VW Bus, the new creator surfside bus and a couple mini figures. However we have agreed that when we buy a house(currently renting), I can have  a room for my toys. In the mean time I will continue to buy the sets I like and stack them in the closet, under the bed, or wherever else I can squeeze them. 

[Andy D]

As long as I keep my LEGO contained to my "studio" there are no complaints. We both realize what we can afford, so there are no complaints when either of us spend on things we want. My wife even encourages me to spend time building, designing, sorting, whatever. I am now in the process of getting the closet in my "studio" converted to all shelves so my storage solution will be more organized. 

LEGO containment is the key to our agreement.

Andy D

[bigginsd]

On 22/03/2018 at 8:17 AM, danth said:

Our agreement is I get to play with childrens' toys, and she gets to make fun of me. It's a win win.

I found this utterly charming.

[dulsi]

We have a rather large house. My wife wishes they weren't strewn about as much as they are. She has all her castle sets setup on her dresser. She envisions having shelves to put completed sets on so they are more contained. Not sure how well that will work with two boys who complain about picking up. Some LUG members were surprised that my wife encouraged purchasing more sets to do the BrickHeadz challenge of our group but I refused and wanted to use what I had.

I would recommend setting up a personal budget. Basically I look at it as each spouse should have a set amount of money they can do with as they please per month. If you want to use it on Lego sets (even if you have to save up for a big set), she can't complain. You still will have to discuss how everything is stored at home but I don't think there is a simple answer to that. (I'm sorry if that is not very helpful as you have already mentioned money isn't a big issue.)

[MandyNeko]

13 hours ago, dulsi said:

 

I would recommend setting up a personal budget. Basically I look at it as each spouse should have a set amount of money they can do with as they please per month. If you want to use it on Lego sets (even if you have to save up for a big set), she can't complain. You still will have to discuss how everything is stored at home but I don't think there is a simple answer to that. (I'm sorry if that is not very helpful as you have already mentioned money isn't a big issue.)

My husband and I have a budget like this. We each get so much "fun money" per month. If I choose to spend it on Lego, and he wants to spend his on fast food, that's our choice. :)

edit to add that I have no dedicated Lego room. I have a table in the living room to build on, and some organized drawers to store sorted parts in by basic categories.

Edited May 3, 2018 by MandyNeko

[Cwetqo]

My wife used to be "soft" AFOL before we got kids, meaning that she built some sets, sorted some lego etc... Now, agreement is basicly that lego should not invade our living space too much (with two young boys, it's not always possible). She will not argue if go away on LEGO event, but in reasonable quantities (few times a year). Agreement is also to keep financial side of it under control, but that is not always possible (I do manage this by buying cheap and re-selling some if it when prices rise).

All in all we do ok ok on this matter, but regardless of it, lego "case" may come "out" if we argue about something, especialy if affects my family obligation in some way (this year we had two big events in two following weekends and about a moonth befoe I spent preparing for it, so my wife a bit of "downtime" for other acivities and complained a bit).

[Kaitu]

I only keep a couple sets built at a time and return the rest to ziploc bags until I rotate them back out.

[Wookiee]

i have a 12' x 15 ' lego city set up with shelves set up underneath for spare bricks/sets etc. The kids also like building cubbies under this.

As long as i keep an area so the kids can build farms etc and it is not spread all over the house she is happy.

The hardest thing is keeping my three year old from spreading lego all through the house and dismantling sets quicker than i get time to repair them.

She does not build but accepts it as i could have worse hobbies or just spend time with mates or down the pub. At least I'm home to look after the kids while i play with my lego.

Also, all three kids enjoy building with there dad, often i am relegated to part finder while the kids build.

 

 

Edited May 6, 2018 by Wookiee