[ENTRY][SMALL] Steve's Arrival in Port Royal

[Captain Braunsfeld]

Steve was a happy merchant until that fatefull day when he arrived in Port Royal - and met the local colonial officer:

Spoiler

Colonial Officer:  Good day, Sir. May I have your name, please.

Steve:  My name is Steve. 

Colonial Officer: That rhymes with my sister's name. How funny.

Steve: What's her name?

Colonial Officer: Niamh. So I put down your name in this form: Stiamh.

Steve: Oh, that is wrong. It is spelt with an "e".

Colonial Officer: No, it is not. Since when do you spell Niamh with an "e"?  Don't be ridiculous.

Steve: I don't care how you spell Neave, but my name is S-T-E-V-E.

Colonial Officer: That is a long name. I thought you said your name was Stiamh?

Spoiler

A quick explanation: Niamh is an Irish name which is pronounced like "Neeve". 

I hope this makes the story less weird 

Spoiler

Steve: Yes, yes, Steve.

Colonial Officer: Then this is settled. Stiamh. And why are you here in Port Royal, Mr. Stiamh?

Steve: (sighs) On business. I am a merchant.

Colonial Officer: Mer-chant? Is that somebody who sings? Let me take a look, I have a list of all possible professions here.
    (browses through list)  Farmer ... Fisherman ... Manservant ... Mermaid. I am sorry, there is no Merchant.

Steve: But there must be. There are many like me.

Colonial Officer: Are you sure you did not get the name wrong?  I mean, you were not so good at spelling .... Maybe you are a mermaid?

Steve: No, I got it right. But you got it all wrong!

Colonial Officer: Are you threatening an officer of the crown? I shall have you arrested!

And then Steve turned and fled. This was the beginning of his transition from merchant to pirate.

---

This is my entry for the "small" category. 

Piece count: 37 pieces + 2 minifigures + 2 animals

And I have redone the photos when I had finally found my Steve.

[Horation]

A fun little idea, here the prose is what brings out this entry, because the build feels a tinge lacking ; if this is a colonial office, why is the officer on a small island? Perhaps it is a very low budget fort. But even then, one does feel like more depth could be created with a bit more detail, like some barrels or maybe a stack of papers (ideally a comically oversized one which the official is trying to process). Overall, a good idea which could use some small improvements.

[Yperio_Bricks]

Hilarious scene! Love it!

To me the size of the office island looks appropriate But a bigger stack of papers as @Horation has mentioned, would be a nice addition.

[Math Wizard]

Ahoy Matey!

They call me Captain Crit in these parts and I heard that polly wants a sandwich (They’re fed up with crackers apparently) - a criticism sandwich that is! (For you landlubbers, that’s 3 seas [Cs]- Compliment, Constructive Criticism, and another Compliment).

Ye did a great job buildin’ this and writin’ a story to go along with it. The story is excellently written and very humorous. It has me laughin’ like I just drank a whole barrel o’ grog! 

This build does seem a bit small, as others have said. Perhaps you could fill the back corner and build up the facade of a building or even just a tree to shade the officer to make it appear larger, even while staying small. Also I believe that the fence behind the seagull may have somehow disappeared during editing- It’d be great to have it back!

Me favorite part o’ this entry is the story, but when it comes to the build I like the simplicity of the small island. The large curves work perfectly for the smoothh sand sloping up to the rougher sand. I also like the feather and cone inkwell- perfect for a busy officer!

Fair Winds Matey!

Edited July 1, 2024 by Math Wizard

[Captain Braunsfeld]

On 6/30/2024 at 9:01 PM, Horation said:

A fun little idea, here the prose is what brings out this entry, because the build feels a tinge lacking ; if this is a colonial office, why is the officer on a small island? Perhaps it is a very low budget fort. But even then, one does feel like more depth could be created with a bit more detail, like some barrels or maybe a stack of papers (ideally a comically oversized one which the official is trying to process). Overall, a good idea which could use some small improvements.

Why so small? That was the constraint given for the challenge = minimal piece count.

Detail = barrels: there is a barrel in the scene.

Stack of paper = yes, there could be a few more.

On 6/30/2024 at 9:08 PM, Yperio_Bricks said:

Hilarious scene! Love it!

To me the size of the office island looks appropriate But a bigger stack of papers as @Horation has mentioned, would be a nice addition.

Is it allowed to re-do the entries? Then I could add more papers. 

My main problem was that I had spent two days searching for my Steve-minifigure. I was so sure that I had one from "the old days". But I did not find him 

On 7/1/2024 at 4:24 AM, Math Wizard said:

Ahoy Matey!

They call me Captain Crit in these parts and I heard that polly wants a sandwich (They’re fed up with crackers apparently) - a criticism sandwich that is! (For you landlubbers, that’s 3 seas [Cs]- Compliment, Constructive Criticism, and another Compliment).

Ye did a great job buildin’ this and writin’ a story to go along with it. The story is excellently written and very humorous. It has me laughin’ like I just drank a whole barrel o’ grog! 

This build does seem a bit small, as others have said. Perhaps you could fill the back corner and build up the facade of a building or even just a tree to shade the officer to make it appear larger, even while staying small. Also I believe that the fence behind the seagull may have somehow disappeared during editing- It’d be great to have it back!

Me favorite part o’ this entry is the story, but when it comes to the build I like the simplicity of the small island. The large curves work perfectly for the smoothh sand sloping up to the rougher sand. I also like the feather and cone inkwell- perfect for a busy officer!

Fair Winds Matey!

Nice comment. Thanks.

Well, the main point for me is the story  

And I need to correct the second picture.

[Captain Pirate Man]

Funniest story that I have read so far!! What made you think of that? I agree with others, the build itself seems a little confused. Are we inside or outside? If we are outside, I'd lose the desk and add a palm tree. 

[Horation]

6 hours ago, Captain Braunsfeld said:

Is it allowed to re-do the entries? Then I could add more papers. 

I believe the whole point of the critiques is to give you feedback so you can re-do the build, though if I were you, I would probably let @Mister Phes know when it was updated, so that the updated picture is shown in the index.

[Mazin]

This is hillarious! Great story, top notch dialogue, had lots of fun reading it, thanx! :)

But hay, looking at Steve, pardon, Stiamh, isn't it clear that it's actually a dream! I mean, doesn't anyone recognize that he's a skeleton becuse of his west? 

It's just a nighmare where Steve is selfdecomposing because of his inner fears of luck of profit, and the Customs Official persofies his darkest thoughts, about being unable to make business.  It's simply he's own version of Kafka's Trial and Monty Pyton's silly questions. 

I mean, look at that Custom Official! You wouldn't see someone dressed like this in real life carribean, would ya? He's a devil in disguise, yeap. 

Like, where would he get his coffe from? He? On such a small island. There's clearly no place for a kettle. He must be only pretending to be drinking it, or he must be powerful enough to magic it up!

But anyway... great presentation. Thanx for showign Steve's origins for us, always knew it started something like this, but now we have the proof. Lovely colors, not over built, mix of sizes, small island with big official's desk and even bigger jetty turn this moc into an outstanding critism of beurocracy's exagerated size and it's own wealth that hould be put into questioning ;)

... and to be honest i would totally love to have this job! Nice location, weather, rich wildlife, office with a view, no need to be proficient in spelling, not a lot of work obviously, as i highly doubt anyone but Steve would come there to make a trade...     

   

Edited July 2, 2024 by Mazin

[Mister Phes]

58 minutes ago, Horation said:

I would probably let @Mister Phes know when it was updated, so that the updated picture is shown in the index. 

It appears I've been distracting wrapping up the First to 25 Critic Challenge because I have yet to update the Entries Index - I better get on to that!

[Captain Braunsfeld]

6 hours ago, Horation said:

I believe the whole point of the critiques is to give you feedback so you can re-do the build, though if I were you, I would probably let @Mister Phes know when it was updated, so that the updated picture is shown in the index.

Good idea!

5 hours ago, Mazin said:

This is hillarious! Great story, top notch dialogue, had lots of fun reading it, thanx! :)

But hay, looking at Steve, pardon, Stiamh, isn't it clear that it's actually a dream! I mean, doesn't anyone recognize that he's a skeleton becuse of his west? 

It's just a nighmare where Steve is selfdecomposing because of his inner fears of luck of profit, and the Customs Official persofies his darkest thoughts, about being unable to make business.  It's simply he's own version of Kafka's Trial and Monty Pyton's silly questions. 

I mean, look at that Custom Official! You wouldn't see someone dressed like this in real life carribean, would ya? He's a devil in disguise, yeap. 

Like, where would he get his coffe from? He? On such a small island. There's clearly no place for a kettle. He must be only pretending to be drinking it, or he must be powerful enough to magic it up!

But anyway... great presentation. Thanx for showign Steve's origins for us, always knew it started something like this, but now we have the proof. Lovely colors, not over built, mix of sizes, small island with big official's desk and even bigger jetty turn this moc into an outstanding critism of beurocracy's exagerated size and it's own wealth that hould be put into questioning ;)

... and to be honest i would totally love to have this job! Nice location, weather, rich wildlife, office with a view, no need to be proficient in spelling, not a lot of work obviously, as i highly doubt anyone but Steve would come there to make a trade...     

This is hillarious! Great story, top notch dialogue, had lots of fun reading it, thanx! :)

But hay, looking at Steve, pardon, Stiamh, isn't it clear that it's actually a dream! I mean, doesn't anyone recognize that he's a skeleton becuse of his west? 

It's just a nighmare where Steve is selfdecomposing because of his inner fears of luck of profit, and the Customs Official persofies his darkest thoughts, about being unable to make business.  It's simply he's own version of Kafka's Trial and Monty Pyton's silly questions. 

I mean, look at that Custom Official! You wouldn't see someone dressed like this in real life carribean, would ya? He's a devil in disguise, yeap. 

Like, where would he get his coffe from? He? On such a small island. There's clearly no place for a kettle. He must be only pretending to be drinking it, or he must be powerful enough to magic it up!

But anyway... great presentation. Thanx for showign Steve's origins for us, always knew it started something like this, but now we have the proof. Lovely colors, not over built, mix of sizes, small island with big official's desk and even bigger jetty turn this moc into an outstanding critism of beurocracy's exagerated size and it's own wealth that hould be put into questioning ;)

... and to be honest i would totally love to have this job! Nice location, weather, rich wildlife, office with a view, no need to be proficient in spelling, not a lot of work obviously, as i highly doubt anyone but Steve would come there to make a trade...     

What a comment!

I usually tend to answer with fewer words. So: thanks! 

And the colonial officer is not drinking coffee. He is drinking rum, which comes from the barrel next to him.

Besides, there is a large island just behind the officer. Just out of sight 

[Mazin]

Thanx :) Btw i only just noticed that my post repeated itself, not sure what happened... or maybe it repeated itself for purpose as it represents my own worst nightmares, of having to write same posts twice or in the nevernding loop ;) 

[NOD]

Funny story! I finally understood the beginning, after I did some research with Google. A hint that "Stiamh" is Scottish Gaelic for Steve would be good. Because not everyone at Eurobricks speaks English well. I understood the rest of the story.

This is really a correct and overzealous Colonial Officer. He wants to earn a promotion quickly. Because of such an officer, the pirates are gaining popularity.  

[Captain Braunsfeld]

@Mister Phes I have found Steve, so I have re-shot the pictures.

[Mister Phes]

5 hours ago, Captain Braunsfeld said:

@Mister Phes I have found Steve, so I have re-shot the pictures.

Blimey gizzits!  We better update the Entries Index!

[Mazin]

9 hours ago, Captain Braunsfeld said:

@Mister Phes I have found Steve, so I have re-shot the pictures.

Damn! and there goes my whole Steve the Skeleton idea ;)

[Captain Braunsfeld]

On 7/5/2024 at 5:45 PM, NOD said:

Funny story! I finally understood the beginning, after I did some research with Google. A hint that "Stiamh" is Scottish Gaelic for Steve would be good. Because not everyone at Eurobricks speaks English well. I understood the rest of the story.

This is really a correct and overzealous Colonial Officer. He wants to earn a promotion quickly. Because of such an officer, the pirates are gaining popularity.  

I did not know that a word like "Stiamh" actually exists. It would ruin the joke.

All you need to know for my little story is how to pronounce "Niamh". 

[NOD]

8 hours ago, Captain Braunsfeld said:

I did not know that a word like "Stiamh" actually exists. It would ruin the joke.

All you need to know for my little story is how to pronounce "Niamh". 

Ohhhh, I didn't even know Niamh is an existing name.  I only know Nizam from Prince of Persia. Now I understand the joke. I like your builds and stories because they are funny.

Did you send me a package for which I had to pay the postman 20 Doubloons? In the package there was a letter and a lot of trash (packaging material). 

Letter: "Have fun with your new air guitar ."

[Captain Braunsfeld]

On 7/10/2024 at 4:27 PM, NOD said:

Did you send me a package for which I had to pay the postman 20 Doubloons? In the package there was a letter and a lot of trash (packaging material). 

 

Letter: "Have fun with your new air guitar ."

 Is that a joke?

I never sent you anything.

[Yperio_Bricks]

On 6/30/2024 at 7:25 PM, Captain Braunsfeld said:

Colonial Officer: Niamh. So I put down your name in this form: Stiamh.

Steve: Oh, that is wrong. It is spelt with an "e".

Colonial Officer: No, it is not. Since when do you spell Niamh with an "e"?  Don't be ridiculous.

Steve: I don't care how you spell Neave, but my name is S-T-E-V-E.

Finaly, after 2 weeks and after reading the latest posts i looked up how to pronounce Niamh. Before i took the name as is, but know, i mean.... your story is ingenious!

[Horation]

On 7/10/2024 at 10:27 AM, NOD said:

Ohhhh, I didn't even know Niamh is an existing name.  I only know Nizam from Prince of Persia. Now I understand the joke. 

If it makes you feel any better, I also saw a Scottish reference where there was none (in an entry by @Math Wizard, I assumed Kirk referred to Scottish for Church). I guess it's us wishing for more Scotland than there really is out there?

[Math Wizard]

Nice to see you updated the photos! It does look like there is some blue from the original background hiding behind the railing though. If the background was already blue, perhaps it may look a tad nicer if you didn't try to remove it. Then ye wouldn't have the jagged edges from the cutout, and it might look a bit cleaner.

[YellowFrog]

Fascinating build and a unique scene. Only one thing is missing: a palm tree!

[Horation]

I have to agree with YellowFrog here. Having a palm tree is a minimum in the scorching heat of the carribean!

[YellowFrog]

One more thing that would really polish up this build: the edge of the water looks a bit jagged and distracting. Rounded plates, or a rectangular footprint would go nicely here.

[Horation]

I have to admit this is a simple build, but I hardly see the point in making it too complex. See, this entry is all about the story, and less so about the means through which it is told (the build).