I always thought the mayor was just a puppet for the town council to control, I didn't think he was truely evil...

Sorry Mayor, would you like us to stop talking?

I told you to stick on the ship, er, train that is, you filthy deserters! You can't get back on now, you'll never catch the train up! Haha, suckers!

*Mark makes an obscene gesture to the people quickly fading into the distance. He then notices the mayor on the roof up above*

qaStaH nuq jay!!?

*Mark quickly ducks back into the cabin*

Steve, we have us a mutiny up top...

Oh, why can't there be a conventiently placed tunnel while the Mayor and his goonie are standing up and the rest of us are sitting or laying down?

Where am I getting these rocks?

Probably from inside your head?

So, Mayor Murder really is wicked. And to think I trusted him! I never suspected for a moment! He was polite, calm and assured, unlike the rest of you freaks.

Anyhoo, he only really tried to kill that harlot Jimbee, so whatevs. I bet you'd like a nice chef working for you? Eating 'Children of the Corn' brand grits must get repetitive? And Oprah has a personal chef - why don't you? Let's discuss some recipe ideas!

*Schmelt leans closer on the pretext of discussing Belgian delicacies, whilst planning to make a lunge for the gun*

Anyhoo, he only really tried to kill that harlot Jimbee, so whatevs. I bet you'd like a nice chef working for you? Eating 'Children of the Corn' brand grits must get repetitive? And Oprah has a personal chef - why don't you? Let's discuss some recipe ideas!

*Schmelt leans closer on the pretext of discussing Belgian delicacies, whilst planning to make a lunge for the gun*

I was just about to ask you if you could whip something up for us. I'm allergic to raisins and I'm trying to watch my weight so if you can make some low-carb Blegian pastries without raisins, that would be nice. Can you make flan??

*continues throwing rocks at Pete Smith*

Where am I getting these rocks?

Those aren't rocks...

Steve, we have us a mutiny up top...

Oh wow.. .we survived! Wait what... mutiny?! Awww... damnit

*steve pulls mark into the cab* shhhh...

*wiped my sweat away*

I can't believe we actually survived such a crazy feat...

Bwa hah hah! Victory is mine, you fools!

Now I will force you all to listen to my evil plots and plans, because that is what all evil masterminds do, and I am clearly very evil and clever.

I had never planned to become a politician, but I hopped on a boxcar one day looking for adventure, and found myself in Willoughby. I liked the quiet simpleness of the town, so I used my irresistible charm and devious wit to gain a spot in the town council, and then put myself in mayor's office with a rigged election. Of course, what good is being mayor if it's just a honorary title? A few changes within the Town Council to people I could rely on and some carefully placed disappearances did the trick, soon the town was frightened into doing things my way.

If anyone was allowed to leave town they might take word to authorities, and I couldn't have that, so all bridges and roads leading out of town suffered from "accidents" and were deemed unusable. I also brought in a new track system, which locked all switches and only allowed them to be changed from the access tower. To keep people from contacting outsiders, the telephone system was modified, and all mail going out and coming in to town was monitored.

This whole trouble started with Jennifer/Jessica's parents. They were very outspoken about their unhappiness at how I was handling things, threatening to runaway and bring in the State Police, so I had Gaylord kill them and hide the bodies. Why he chose to hide them inside the old mill, I'm not really sure. It was then that he lost his train pin.

Jennifer started going crazy, documenting her attempts to leave the town and leaving random "clues" all over the place. She never stayed in one place, and by the time I decided it was best to be rid of her, she had disappeared. I destroyed all the clues I could find, but obviously missed some. I was afraid she had escaped until I found a new clue of hers pinned to a tree, only a few days before the Emerald Express arrived.

Her plan was to stop the train in Willoughby, and then escape while us townsfolk were distracted with all of you. I don't know how she managed to coordinate the plan so well, and I must say I'm impressed. As foolish as she was she almost pulled it off. Upon the train's arrival, I searched around the outside while everyone was busy introducing themselves. I found Jennifer around the back try to sneak aboard, and shot her with the small gun with the silencer. Amidst the distraction I was able to drag her on to the coal tender. I ran back to the town hall and put the gun in the dresser in the file room, locked the door and rushed back to meet all of you coming off the train. If I hadn't been in such a hurry, I would have thought to properly hide the gun and the files about Jennifer's parents.

From then on it was the council's goal to hamper you detective wannabes in whatever way we could. I made sure there was one of us in each group, so that no one would be free to do everything they wanted. Jethro (may he rest in peace) was my best agent, as you can see from the havoc he created on the farm, but each council member did their part. In my group, I told you about room 6 in hopes someone would investigate it and have it collapse on them, and I also sneaked into Jim's room and poisoned him through the ear. I hoped to serve you all some poison drink in my office, but you were too suspicious for that. I had the key to the file room and the combination to the safe, but unfortunately you were able to bypass them by picking the locks. The combination was 10183.

As the mayor of this town, I obviously knew about the small plane we use for mail and the radio tower. I had the radio smashed so no one could use it to signal for help. A waste, but I didn't have time to hide it properly.

I feel that the attack at the mill was the council's finest action, working together to do heavy damage to multiple people. I organized the plan, but each did their part. I slit my own throat slightly to throw suspicion off myself, and planted a blade next to Arin. I admit I was a little disappointed at the way you all responded to that, considering you are usually quick to point fingers at any little clue. This time you seemed content to just forget about it and move on. From there on the council didn't have many opportunities to strike, but the already damaged bridge served as a useful trap.

And now we are here: David and I have the weapons, and you are to obey us. I may have to get rid of those who are excessively troublesome, but I feel that most of you will fit into Willoughby quite well. Considering the amount of people you've caused to die, there should be plenty of openings.

Arin, I agree that there is some kind of connection between us. I think I framed you because deep down I wished you were part of my council. I'm sure we can make some kind of arrangement.

And now we are here: David and I have the weapons, and you are to obey us. I may have to get rid of those who are excessively troublesome, but I feel that most of you will fit into Willoughby quite well. Considering the amount of people you've caused to die, there should be plenty of openings.

Arin, I agree that there is some kind of connection between us. I think I framed you because deep down I wished you were part of my council. I'm sure we can make some kind of arrangement.

Oh, am I one of the troublesome ones! I caught your town council very quickly, Jethro and Kill'in George were obvious from the get-go! Though I suspected Pete instead of Gaylord, and the shrieff instead of you!

And you can have Arin's hand and go get married. I give you my consent. I'm the father, you see.

All and all, that was a very nice plan. I wonder when you'll be thwarted by a pasing tree branch or some other comedic helping-hand. Or should we handle you on our own do you think?

As everyone listens to the Mayor with keen interest, Schmelt lunges for his gun. The two fall down on the roof and begin to wrestle. Herman throws in a dollop of whip cream he had been saving in his pants pocket. David isn't sure what to do???

Schmelt! To think I liked you! Well you've cooked your last waffle my friend!

(fires gun!)

As the two men wrestle, the Mayor presses the trigger on his gun.

BANG!

Schmelt falls to the side. His shirt is stained with blood.

*says to mark* Stay here.

*sigh* here we go again, why is the mayor always the badguy? *karate chops gaylord in the face before climbing on the roof to kick the mayors @$$*

*while kicking the mayors @$$* Oh and since we're all confessing, I'd like to confess that I stopped the train....Not because I'm a bad guy or in it for the money (which i'll take back for evidence) but because I'm a undercover cop, I felt I should help bulldog since he claimed he was being blackmailed... anyway I'm sorry for dragging you all into this and hopefully soon the authorities should arrive seeing as I've been out of contact with them for awhile.

SCHMELT!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!!!! YOU SON OF A MEGABLOCK!!!!!

*Schmelt struggles into an upright position, coughing blood. He still has life enough to say a few final words....*

IF I should die, think only this of me;

That there's some corner of a cornfield

That is forever Eggo-free. There in Willoughby

With its Town Council well concealed;

Will lie my schmelted remains, tended by my dear pony.

I shall end my days as I lived - well-marinated,

Yes, sadly fooled by Mayor Murder's baloney,

And then filleted, roast on a spit, and BBQ'd, not cremated.

Praise be!

*ack*

Wow Mayor Murder and Disappearing David are town council. I guess we really are going to die. Oh well. *Holds Schmelt's hand* Stay with me. Stay with me!!!

Schmelt, hang on, you can't just dieeeeeeee....

*Takes a tabletop cloth*

I will use this cloth and press tight to prevent the blood from flowing out... Damn it...

Steve, I never knew you were a baddie, let's kick some butt. Brakes grabbed a rod and whack the Mayor's arm..

Schmelt, hang on, you can't just dieeeeeeee....

*Takes a tabletop cloth*

I will use this cloth and press tight to prevent the blood from flowing out... Damn it...

Steve, I never knew you were a baddie, let's kick some butt. Brakes grabbed a rod and whack the Mayor's arm..

For the last time I'm not a baddie, I was just trying to do my job. Would someone help me with the mayor please!?

I don't have any more whipped cream! I don't know what to do! :cry_sad: :cry_sad:

*takes shoe off*

*takes sock off and waves it in the air towards mayor*

I have bad athlete's foot. Not that I got it from doing anything athletic. My feet just sweat around girls.

What else do I have?

*searches pockets*

*finds Klingong dictionary*

Qaw jagh!!!

*screams his girliest scream most ferocious Klingon battle cry and hurls dictionary at mayor*

*uses his judo skills (check my card, I've got 'em!) to retrieve his gun from the evil mayor and Colonel Mustard his sidekick, while kicking at least one of them off the train in the process*

If someone puts the brakes on real fast while all of us hold onto something, the mayor will fly right off.

*looks at mayor*

I should've told all of you that in secret...

*The group on the ground reach the hand cart in town and after raiding the Emerald Express for food and having a nice feed (thanks to Jim's limited cooking skills) they set off toward Cassandra Crossing and the Crocodile.*

Oh yeah, it's fight time!

*kicks some megablocks while singing "Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting"*

*Mark looks around the now empty cabin of the train, and then over at the controls*

Um, guys? Oh crap...

*A loud ruckus can be heard from above. Mark looks carefully at the controls and spots a lever that looks like something to do with the brakes*

I sure hope you got these working Brakes... Let's end this! Hang on!!!

*Going with his lucky instinct, he pulls the lever. The train lurches violently*

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

*A loud ruckus can be heard from above.*

*grabs pom-poms*

We're about to cause a ruckus,

Grab that johnson rod and *cough* use it appropriately!