Aperture Academy Mafia School: Sign-Up Thread

[mostlytechnic]

Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[XXX] Yes

[_] No

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[XXX] Yes

[_] No

[_] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[XXX] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[XXX] Yes

[_] No

Are they wrong?

[sometimes] Yes

[_] No

Are you currently being observed?

[xxx] Yes

[_] No

[_] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[xxx] No

[_] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

Uh, looks like fun? Never done a mafia game here and don't wanna look like an idiot when I try one.

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[nope] No

[_] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

[Piratedave84]

Aperture Mafia!!! :wub:

The intro comic is stellar; the graphics and presentation are superb!

Good luck to all who play this game!!!

[TrumpetKing]

Depending on when The Pearl ends, if you don't get enough new players (I'm sure you will), it will be good for me to get more experience, so under those conditions, count me in!

Hello and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Education Center, more commonly referred to as Aperture Academy.

Before we start, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of the Academy, things are not always as they seem and you may find yourself in difficult situations that require the use of intelligence and common sense, two things that most humans lack in any noticeable quantity. As a result, for your safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from being stupid. Stupidity will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your permanent record, followed by death dismissal. Please note that the appearance of danger is merely a device to enhance your learning experience.

In order to determine if you are suitable for admission into this prestigious program, please answer the following questions to the best of your limited human abilities and then payment information will be provided so you can begin down the road to learning.

Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[_] Yes

[x] No

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[_] Yes

[x] No

[_] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[x] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[_] Yes

[x] No

Are they wrong?

[x] Yes

[_] No

Are you currently being observed?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[x] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[x] No

[_] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

I would like the chance to play in this game because every mafia player needs practice. I haven't played as much as the other players have, so it might be good for me to come back here. Also, my gameplay tends to be very messy, and I'm looking into trying to clean that up. Mafia school would be a great place to do so. There. Short and simple.

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[x] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

Thank you for helping us help you help us all.

Now, please place the survey on the ground, then lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides. An education associate will arrive shortly to determine if you are qualified for admission. Make no attempt to leave this area. Assume the 'Education Submission Position' or you may miss this wonderful opportunity.

Oh, and we're between banks now, so just make those checks out to cash.

EDIT: I forgot the last question.

Edited February 26, 2013 by TrumpetKing67

[LegoDad]

Hello and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Education Center, more commonly referred to as Aperture Academy.

Before we start, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of the Academy, things are not always as they seem and you may find yourself in difficult situations that require the use of intelligence and common sense, two things that most humans lack in any noticeable quantity. As a result, for your safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from being stupid. Stupidity will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your permanent record, followed by death dismissal. Please note that the appearance of danger is merely a device to enhance your learning experience.

In order to determine if you are suitable for admission into this prestigious program, please answer the following questions to the best of your limited human abilities and then payment information will be provided so you can begin down the road to learning.

Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[_] Yes

[x] No, but very much looking forward to it.

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[_] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[x] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[x] Yes, I hope so!

[_] No

Are they wrong?

[_] Yes

[x] No, I hope not

Are you currently being observed?

[_] Yes

[x] No, If I am, there's a camera in my office I don't know about

[_] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[x] No

[_] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

I have followed other experiences like this and have been curious as to how they work. Learning is the first step and I would very much like to be a part of this. Since I feel that I am a fairly intelligent person with a fair degree of common sense, I think this will be fun and challenging at the same time.

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[x] No

[_] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

Thank you for helping us help you help us all.

Now, please place the survey on the ground, then lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides. An education associate will arrive shortly to determine if you are qualified for admission. Make no attempt to leave this area. Assume the 'Education Submission Position' or you may miss this wonderful opportunity.

Oh, and we're between banks now, so just make those checks out to cash.

[Bane]

In order to determine if you are suitable for admission into this prestigious program, please answer the following questions to the best of your limited human abilities and then payment information will be provided so you can begin down the road to learning.

Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[_] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[_] Yes

[X] No

Are they wrong?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Are you currently being observed?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[paranoia strikes again] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

The cake is a lie

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

Thank you for helping us help you help us all.

Now, please place the survey on the ground, then lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides. An education associate will arrive shortly to determine if you are qualified for admission. Make no attempt to leave this area. Assume the 'Education Submission Position' or you may miss this wonderful opportunity.

Oh, and we're between banks now, so just make those checks out to cash.

[Saberwing40k]

Hello and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Education Center, more commonly referred to as Aperture Academy.

Before we start, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of the Academy, things are not always as they seem and you may find yourself in difficult situations that require the use of intelligence and common sense, two things that most humans lack in any noticeable quantity. As a result, for your safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from being stupid. Stupidity will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your permanent record, followed by death dismissal. Please note that the appearance of danger is merely a device to enhance your learning experience.

In order to determine if you are suitable for admission into this prestigious program, please answer the following questions to the best of your limited human abilities and then payment information will be provided so you can begin down the road to learning.

Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[_] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Are they wrong?

[_] Yes

[X] No

Are you currently being observed?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

I've thought that role play would be kind of fun for me , as a story teller. I'm also a bit bored, and need something interesting to do.

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

Thank you for helping us help you help us all.

Now, please place the survey on the ground, then lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides. An education associate will arrive shortly to determine if you are qualified for admission. Make no attempt to leave this area. Assume the 'Education Submission Position' or you may miss this wonderful opportunity.

Oh joy, another hoop to jump through. *lies on stomach with arms at sides*

Oh, and we're between banks now, so just make those checks out to cash.

Okay, and done. I hope i haven't bitten of more than I can chew.

[Piratedave84]

SNIP

EDIT: I forgot the last question.

no editing your post; 5 vote penalty!

[Antonio]

no editing your post; 5 vote penalty!

No penalty allowed!10 vote penalty!

[Darkdragon]

no editing your post; 5 vote penalty!

No penalty allowed!10 vote penalty!

Mini-hosting, instant death.

[Piratedave84]

Mini-hosting, instant death.

Sowwwy!!!

[Scouty]

Wonderful graphics, looks like this is gonna be a great mafia game :) !

[scouty rips up application into little pieces of paper]

[Tohst]

Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[_] Yes

[X] No Or any learning experience of any sort.

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[_] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[X] Yes Past Experience is no guarantee of future results

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[X] Yes I usually wear one of the flat hat things with a tassle

[_] No

Are they wrong?

[X] Yes Others are almost always wrong about everything

[_] No

Are you currently being observed?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] Not Sure I was. I am unsure how long the poison takes to act so I may be in the clear now

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[X] No The corporation may claim it was scientific but I contend it was for entertainment...sick...twisted...entertainment.

[_] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

I am being blackmailed. This may be my last chance to get out from under the thumb of someone who I cannot name and escape to Norway.

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[X] No The barometer is failing.

[_] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

Tohst - flailing.

[Wedge09]

In order to determine if you are suitable for admission into this prestigious program, please answer the following questions to the best of your limited human abilities and then payment information will be provided so you can begin down the road to learning.

Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Are they wrong?

[_] Yes

[X] No

Are you currently being observed?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

For science, I will do anything. I really like to being part of an experiment like this despite this will be the first for me.

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

[xxlrocka]

"Can I join? Can I?"

"Nope

"But whyyyy???"

"Because your body isn't ready."

"It isn't?"

"Only kidding. Just fill out this form and let's kill you with deadly neurotoxin learn!"

"Oh boy!"

Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[bananaphone] Yes

[_] No

Are they wrong?

[_] Yes

[Maybe] No

Are you currently being observed?

[by you] Yes

[_] No

[_] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[LAWL] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

A: Because I want to learn, dammit!

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[1...1...0...poodle] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

And don't worry, all of my cash belongs to you! Wait, did you say che-----

[Tamamono]

Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[X] Yes (Isla Paradisa)

[_] No

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[X Yes

[_] No

[_] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Are they wrong?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] Undisclosed

Are you currently being observed?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

- Who said anything about a learning experience? I thought this was the form for the DMV. I sure hope that nice man saved my place in line...

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[_] I can't count that high

[X] Oops, I didn't read that

[Debricker]

Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[_] Yes

[x] No

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[x] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[x] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[x] Yes

[_] No

Are they wrong?

[x] Yes

[_] No

Are you currently being observed?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[x] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[x] No

[_] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

I'll just put it short and sweet, I want to be in mafia games. It seems so fun and it looks like a great experience.

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[x] No

[_53Cp>EDIT: i forgot the last question

Edited February 27, 2013 by Debricker

[Jedi master Brick]

Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[x] Yes

[_] No

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[x] Yes

[_] No

[_] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[x] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[_] Yes

[x] No

Are they wrong?

[_] Yes

[x] No

Are you currently being observed?

[_] Yes

[x] No

[_] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[x] No

[_] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

I enjoy playing in mafia games, despite not being very good. It would be better for me to learn the basics in mafia school rather than play a game with veterans,

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[_=x] No

[_] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

[Palathadric]

There are already seems to be a lot of people signed up for this, but on the odd case that some of them don't turn up.

Hello and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Education Center, more commonly referred to as Aperture Academy.

Before we start, keep in mind that although fun and learning are the primary goals of the Academy, things are not always as they seem and you may find yourself in difficult situations that require the use of intelligence and common sense, two things that most humans lack in any noticeable quantity. As a result, for your safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from being stupid. Stupidity will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your permanent record, followed by death dismissal. Please note that the appearance of danger is merely a device to enhance your learning experience.

In order to determine if you are suitable for admission into this prestigious program, please answer the following questions to the best of your limited human abilities and then payment information will be provided so you can begin down the road to learning.

Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[X] Yes (Bedtime Story Mafia School)

[_] No

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[X] Yes

[_] No

[_] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[_] Yes

[X] No

Are they wrong?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Are you currently being observed?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

Because I died without fulfilling my life's purpose in The Pearl 1.0.

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] I can't count that high

[X] Oops, I didn't read that

Thank you for helping us help you help us all.

Now, please place the survey on the ground, then lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides. An education associate will arrive shortly to determine if you are qualified for admission. Make no attempt to leave this area. Assume the 'Education Submission Position' or you may miss this wonderful opportunity.

Oh, and we're between banks now, so just make those checks out to cash.

[Sir E Fullner]

Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[_] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Are they wrong?

[_] Yes

[X] No

Are you currently being observed?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

Well, I have never tried out any of these mafia games before, but I think they could be very fun. And even if I don't do so well, hey, at least I had a learning experience. I have seen a mafia game only once in the past, and it looked like it would be really fun. However, that was when I was more naïve and foolish. However, I have greatly matured in the past year. For instance, I have participated in the Tournament of Retribution III, and made some entries in a few contests.

Since I have seen a good amount of films with Humphrey Bogart, I know the inner workings of a mafia. There is usually the Don and his enforcers, plus some guy who mixes the martinis. Is there a guy who mixes the martinis here? Well, if there is, he must get a lot of crap for what he does. After all, life is not easy as a drink mixer in a basement speakeasy. As for the enforcers, I don't think it's a piece of cake for them either. After all, there is the chance of getting your gizzard slitted while you're asleep, or other stuff like that that was in The Godfather.

Of course, being a member of the town may not be easy, either. You have to be on constant lookout for criminals (unless if you have a gun) and you have to gain your money honestly. No racketeering. The mayor is pressured to pass bills and make the town safer, however, the mafia might have hold on his decisions. The local entrepreneurs are pressured to tip the mafia with a good percentage of their products, and if they don't, dey'll be sleepin' wit' da fishes.

Now where would I fit in in this rabble of calamity? Well, I think I'd probably be mafia. Why that choice? Well, I'm pretty good with drink mixing, smooth talking, and telling people that dey ain't seen nuttin'. I can enforce payments whenever I am allowed, and can give people offers they can't refuse. However, I'm not so good with the violence, so I think I'd like to be the mafia's inventory guy. You know, the guy who tells them that they're out of pizza and need some more gin in the back room.

Anyways, please accept me in the mafia game, and if you don't, you'll be making a big mistake. Or maybe more of a medium mistake. Ah, who cares. Just accept me, please.

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

Signed:

Major Efullner, 60th Redcoat Regiment

[legobodgers]

Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[_] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Are they wrong?

[_] Yes

[X] No

Are you currently being observed?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

I have lurked for a while and have enjoyed reading other mafia games. Now I would like to participate in my first one although I am well versed in the rules.

Wow, that may just be the only serious submission yet. How about a terrible pun?

She sells sea Chell's be the sea shore. See? Terrible.

Now I am just stalling.

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[X] Yes

[_] No

[_] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

[Palathadric]

Hey, legobodgers, you're been missing from Heroica for a while now. Amorith should make a surprise return.

[Only Sinner]

Have you participated in a learning experience of this nature in the past?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] Learning? No one said anything about learning

If you answered yes to the previous question, did that lead to a successful result?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[_] I'm not sure

This learning experience may take as much as 6 weeks to complete and a failure to participate can lead to unpleasant results. Will you be available for this entire time?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Do you appear well educated to others?

[_] Yes

[X] No

Are they wrong?

[X] Yes

[_] No

Are you currently being observed?

[_] Yes

[_] No

[X] Not Sure

Have you ever sued a scientific corporation for an injury you received?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] An Injury prevents me from remembering

Why do you wish to participate in this experiment learning experience?

Please limit your response to no more than 10,000 words.

Having lived in the Chicago area most of my life, I can say for a fact there is no such thing as "mafia". This is an entirely fictional paradigm designed specifically to induce panic and fear amongst the hysterical masses.

Fageddaboudit *gently smacks cheeck*

Did you feel pressured to write more because of the above limitation?

[_] Yes

[X] No

[_] I can't count that high

[_] Oops, I didn't read that

Thank you for helping us help you help us all.

[Shadows]

Applications for admission to Aperture Academy have now concluded. Thank you for your interest

in joining us for the furtherance of education. Over the course of the next 48 hours, our highly

advanced Applications Processing System (APS) will select the most suitable students and they will

be notified via private message. If you are selected, you will be asked to confirm your continued

availability in a new topic, and if you weren't, we hope that you will consider applying again in the

future, there will always be more opportunities for learning.

Thank you again for your participation.

(Signed)

Aperture Academy Administration