Harriet Slutter and the Philosopher's Balls: Chapter 4

[Orion Kettleboil]

I wasn't referring to you. I was reminding everyone that conversion is a possibility, as in you trying to convert someone.

An hour out from the end of the day you will have nothing to gain by revealing the PR roles, other than being a vengeful bitch. Do it earlier and you'll guarantee everyone votes for you. I'm willing to call your bluff.

Vote: Helena Hippopaw

She has no reason not to out the PRs. She lost. The game is over for her. The only thing left in it for her is to be a vengeful bitch, and judging from what we've seen thus far, I have complete faith that she's the sort to act like a petulant little bitch when she doesn't get what she wants. There is literally no merit to voting for her.

[Nicholas Dickory]

Am I the only one who's seriously pinged by this post? I don't even know why this pings me so much. It's like I don't have any control over my little monkey hands - I feel like I could type "Vote: Belinda Bugglesby" at any time without even intending it. Does anyone else get that? megablocking trippy, man.

No, you are not, okay? It strikes me that out of the mixed bag of reactions we've had to Helena's bluff (ranging from "Get ducked with a capital 'F'" to "Can we risk it if she's telling the truth?"), Belinda's is the most passive of the lot, isn't it? Everyone else is going "Whoa, bitch" and Belinda is going "J-just don't hurt us, okay?" She seems almost too quick to lay down at her hippo overlord's feet, doesn't she? I have to wonder if Belinda might be playing along with a teammate's strategy in order to move the vote onto... who, exactly? We don't exactly have any other leads, do we?

Everyone, let me suggest some other lynch options. I for one, will likely vote for Firuz today, shortly.

However, if there is nobody else you would like to lynch, I volunteer myself as a possible lynch subject should there be nobody else worthy of lynching. I am willing to risk my life for the rest of the town should it be necessary, such as a similar situation. I am vanilla, so you won't lose anything important should I be your verdict. I would love to survive, bit seeing that Helena is likely telling the truth, the town is in danger, and I want to lead the town to victory. As much as I hate to say it, if this is the only way to save the town, I will do it.

Helena, please provide anything you know. If you are unwilling to, I will be willing to be a mouthpiece for the PR's who have anything useful. I know it sounds scummy, but it could save the town. Just trust me on this.

Oh, well, it seems Twatty has volunteered; isn't that nice of her? The fact that Twatty so readily puts herself up for the chop makes me curious; could this be a ploy to endear herself to the town, knowing she won't get lynched but it will look good if she does? She, like Belinda, seems very ready and willing to trust Helena's word when the evidence suggests that's the last thing we should do, isn't it?

I don't know if this necessarily incriminates them - it could be they're townies who were freaked out at the prospect of losing to this screwball - but isn't it worth noting?

[Hinckley]

vote tally

Helena Hippopaw: 6 votes (Gertrude Tincanchew, Nicholas Dickory, Twatty Tittlesteen, Dillpickle Catterweed, Rutherford Hablabble-Bibble, Firuz Foxtail)

[Ariattny Sugarbottom]

Vote: Helena Hippopaw.

Die you waterbearing bitch. I've always wanted to say those five words. We might not win, but honestly, I'm more and more okay with just you not winning. Go back to mafia school, you should. Pioneer my megablocks.

[Bartholomew Bearbutt]

For the record, without Pink, I cannot kill, therefore I cannot win. But I'm a sporting person who wants to see the game continue. That includes me in it.

Like others have said there must be some reason your still alive and there must be a reason your fighting for your life. I refuse to believe you cant do damage anymore.

Or are you just buying time to recruit another partner?

My thoughts exactly!

"I'm not throwing a tantrum, I just want to ruin the game for everyone else because my gambit failed and my partner died!! "

I'm convinced shes not just out to ruin the game. Theres a reason Helena is still alive! If she had already lost the game she woudnt be around anymore.

Basically, Helena's a four year old holding her breath in the toy store to get what she wants. While the proper response to that situation is to hold your breath too (well, that's debatable, but... ), but that would do us no good here. There's no reason to make Helena give up and go into time-out, as she has nothing to left to lose; she already lost the game. Don't forget that our purpose here is to kill odor eaters. Is Helena an odor eater? Pretty sure she's not. So, basically, ignore her and lynch scum.

We can't win with any third parties alive. We have to kill the odor eaters and any third parties! So if the vigilant is still alive I dont see a way for her to survive the night though so who says she wont give the odor eaters the PRs she claims to know about anyway?

Vote: Helena Hippopaw

It's a looooove thing, yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah,I feel that pounding in my heart when you call my name, its a loooooooooove thing, looooooooooove thiiiiiiing

[Helena Hippopaw]

So far, there has been a remarkable lack of foresight on the town's part. I have established, I have no desire to sabotage town, I simply aim to continue on. Of course, the scum would love for me to sabotage town, and roll into an easy last few days. Therefore, I assume half, if not more, of the votes against me are scum. That in itself is a sort of road map for town.

Let's see the logic here, again, in a digestible play form:

Act Four, scene 2

Helena: If you lynch me, you'll be committing suicide for the town. What do you think?

Gertrude: Vote: kill town

Dicholas: Vote: kill town

Twatty: Vote: kill town

Dillpickle: Vote: kill town

Rutherford: Vote: kill town

Firuz: Vote: kill town

Ariattny: Vote: kill town

Bearbutt: Vote: kill town

Belinda: Maybe we should think about what we're doing here folks....

Orion: Belinda's being scummy! Ping!

Pause for intermission

So, that in a nutshell is the stupidity you guys have put yourselves in. A real town leader needs to step up soon and talk some sense. A reminder, once again, the scum want you to lynch me, revealing the town secrets. If you vote for me, you are helping scum. Everyone who has voted for me so far is quite literally scum or dumb. Never have your choices been so totally clear. Yet still the votes are as they are. Even in death, I help town far more than Gertrude...

One thing I didn't explain about my role:

Pink was the Water-bearer, and I am the toaster salesman. If you look at these hint-laden pictures, you will see my beloved sister filling up the bath, and none other than this charming hippo dumping a toaster in.

So, now that Pink has departed, I am a useless thing, with only toasters to give away to hapless victims. Why is Ariattny so afraid of a toaster?

Things for you to ponder.

And Ariattny wants people to 'pioneer her megablocks'. Frankly, that sounds disgusting, and I doubt there's any room what with all the gerbils already stuffed up it. I wouldn't pioneer that megablocks for a million dollars

Vote: Gertrude Tincanchew

What the heck? She's loud, stupid, and annoying, and there's a 50/50 chance she's scum.

[Rutherford HablabbleBibble]

I would be a lot more inclined to believe you're helping to town, if you weren't a serial killer holding our PRs hostage in order to, as you repeatedly state, survive, so that you can freely do absolutely nothing with no chance of winning.

You're no penis. You're just a dick.

[Helena Hippopaw]

Good one Rutherford. Why don't you kill the whole then? Oh wait, that's what you're trying to do!

I'm trying to live, everyone's trying to live. Why would I just roll over and die? That is bad playing. Everyone knows that, and every townie who calls me a dick for this is a total baby, and if they vote for me, they're stupid on top of that. I'm extending my game, and if you can't accept that, then the town dies.

*kill the whole town then

[Ariattny Sugarbottom]

Ah so, you were blocked last night, as I was visited by the Water Bearer and drawn a bath, and given the effect that I can not talk about. Okay. Nice one, scum, you saved me. If you weren't also trying to kill me, I'd thank you. That's why you were so pissed at me, Helana, because I am alive, and you didn't want that! That's amazing.

Helena, what you don't seem to get, is that we need to get rid of you as well. Sure, killing a scum would be better, but since we don't know any for sure, you are a good alternative.

Blackmailing the town like you are doesn't work. Not for you, not for anyone. Your threat makes sense, you need to survive till the end, that's fine. Carrying it out will not help you in any way, but I guess that's up to you, it will probably make the rest of the game fairly uninteresting, but there you go.

You see, you keep saying it's the town's fault you are going to be lynched. It's really not, we have to lynch you to win anyways. You brought this on yourself, when you said you were a 100% sure Purplonia was town, and you decided to go this route, there is no other outcome than you being lynched here today. If you're going to make a deal with the town that will end up in us letting you live for the time being, which doesn't work anyway with our win condition being as is, you should have made sure you could swing both ways. Meaning: you should have made sure you knew at least one scum, so you could say: Don't help me, I release PRs, help me, I give you a Scum. Easier said than done, but right now we have NO benefit to letting you live. What's keeping you from telling the names of the PR's anyway? And by the way, what proof have we got that you know these PR's? You can keep blabbing on about this, but that's the reality of it. You are going to be lynched, we really have no choice in that. The only two things up for grabs is how people will view you from now on.

[Rutherford HablabbleBibble]

Good one Rutherford. Why don't you kill the whole then? Oh wait, that's what you're trying to do!

Who's the serial killer here?

I'm calling you a dick mostly because you're being a dick, not because you're blackmailing the town. I'm more annoyed at your attitude than anything.

I'm trying to live, everyone's trying to live. Why would I just roll over and die? That is bad playing.

That's not bad playing, that just doesn't make any sense. If you didn't have a purpose anymore, you wouldn't be here. My money's on you're now a totally self-dependent serial killer, or you can convert a partner.

[Helena Hippopaw]

blah blah blah

I'm not angry at you at all, I just like making fun of you I did want to kill you last night, but the scum accidentally saved you. The day would have been so much less whiny if you weren't here.

And if you lynch me, you're killing the town. Your choice to make, you'll live with it. I set my conditions, you work with it as you choose to. But it's all on you, since I explained it up front. Now get those hamsters out of your megablocks, they'll suffocate!

Who's the serial killer here?

I'm calling you a dick mostly because you're being a dick, not because you're blackmailing the town. I'm more annoyed at your attitude than anything.

That's not bad playing, that just doesn't make any sense. If you didn't have a purpose anymore, you wouldn't be here. My money's on you're now a totally self-dependent serial killer, or you can convert a partner.

Now, it's about time you look in the mirror. I have five people telling me to megabluck myself, and I'm the dick? megabluck that. That's just idiotic. I have a load of people heaping shit on me, and I've had a pretty good sense of humor about it.

As for not making sense, it's my choice not to roll over and die. Got it? My prerogative to not stick my tail between my legs and run away. If you want to sabotage all of town by lynching me, it's on your shoulders. Deal with it and stop whinging. But I'm playing the game I'm playing, and you can kill town by lynching me if you like.

[Ariattny Sugarbottom]

Helena, I have just four more things to say: You are the dumbest person ever to play mafia on Eurobricks. Realize it. Oh, and go megabluck yourself.

[Helena Hippopaw]

There's that Tourette's Syndrome that everybody loves

[Ariattny Sugarbottom]

I feel like you might be taking things a bit too seriously, Helena. Your PM was a personal attack, which is totally uncalled for. I did call you dumb, but only in the context of the game. You haven't played it smart. If you had, you would not be on the chopping block now. Oh, and that were 9 sentences.

[Helena Hippopaw]

Still whining? Will it ever end?

Apparently not.

[Lulu Pittoolo]

Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Wow, I...didn't quite expect this. I feel like we're playing chicken without a steering wheel. As others have pointed out, the overlords won't let Helena be rendered useless if her partner dies. It's possible that she will recruit someone else tonight as the new Water Bearer, which explains why she works so hard to survive just another day (because let's be honest: even if we don't lynch her, the vig will take her out tonight). I figure the town could just block/vig-kill her - assuming we have a blocker and that Helena tells the truth about the vig being still alive - but if the scum has a watcher, we'd give away two of our actions that way.

Of course, lynching Helena might give away three of our actions...if Helena actually reveals everyone who claimed to her and she actually tells the truth when she does. The point is, if she actually is lynched, there is no reason for her to not lie to us about the actions. Which means, the scum still have to deal with the insecurity: Helena has as much reason to thirst for revenge on the scum as she has to take vengeance against us, meaning that she might give the scum a free buffet, or just lie about the town power roles and lure them into a trap.

That's gonna be a tough call, isn't it, scum? (I know you are listening)

So, with that said, I'd like to vote: Helena Hippopaw

Purr

[Helena Hippopaw]

For the sake of it, I need to change my vote.

Unvote: Gertrude Tincanchew

Vote: Ariattny Sugarbottom

Both are equally likely scum, but Ariattny has shown herself to be a whiny, pissy hypocrite, spouting bile, and crying if someone hands a pinch back at her. Whether town or scum wins, who wants to be around that? That's four-year old stuff right there. Hit and hit and hit and hit, then cry when someone pushes back. Sad. Town would do well to remove that sort of attitude from the equation.

Lulu, you have made another vote for scum. Your call.

As you might have noticed, no town leader emerged, so when I very-soft claimed yesterday, yeah, people claimed to me. Maybe your post is true, maybe your post is just scum stuff. But you have voted against town. Your call.

I don't want to say all town this time sucks, but it's starting to look like surviving town this time sucks. Can we just call this thing for scum now?

[Gertrude Tincanchew]

For the sake of it, I need to change my vote.

Unvote: Gertrude Tincanchew

Vote: Ariattny Sugarbottom

Both are equally likely scum, but Ariattny has shown herself to be a whiny, pissy hypocrite, spouting bile, and crying if someone hands a pinch back at her. Whether town or scum wins, who wants to be around that? That's four-year old stuff right there. Hit and hit and hit and hit, then cry when someone pushes back. Sad. Town would do well to remove that sort of attitude from the equation.

:laugh: :rofl:

[Hinckley]

vote tally

Helena Hippopaw: 9 votes (Gertrude Tincanchew, Nicholas Dickory, Twatty Tittlesteen, Dillpickle Catterweed, Rutherford Hablabble-Bibble, Firuz Foxtail, Ariattny Sugarbottom, Bartholomew Bearbutt, Lulu Pittoolo)

Ariattny Sugarbottom: 1 vote (Helena Hippopaw)

[Timly Dimplebop]

Geez, Bert and I wander off to take a nap and look what happens.

Helena, I don't like your attitude. End of story. I'll accept whatever fate befalls us as long as I don't have to listen to you anymore.

Vote: Helena Hippopaw

In the words of the United States Government: "We don't negotiate with terrorists"

In the words of my fellow townies: "Lynch all liars"

[Orion Kettleboil]

I'm convinced shes not just out to ruin the game. Theres a reason Helena is still alive! If she had already lost the game she woudnt be around anymore.

Yeah, I guess it's possible that she can still kill/has some other reason to be around (at least survive until the end).

We can't win with any third parties alive. We have to kill the odor eaters and any third parties! So if the vigilant is still alive I dont see a way for her to survive the night though so who says she wont give the odor eaters the PRs she claims to know about anyway?

Oh, megabluck, I forgot about that. Yeah, I completely agree that Helena needs to die at some point, but I'd rather kill an odor eater as soon as possible. Meh. Maybe she really does have something up her sleeve.

Vote: Helena Hippopaw

In any case, since she can't townside, there's no reason to not lynch her. Vig, please make a good choice tonight with your kill.

[Belinda Bugglesby]

Well with the amount of votes against Helena I imagine that soon she will play her trump card, hopefully she is lying but if not we are now ducked. Great job team. Orion; Nicholas, yeah my post was super scummy. Maybe I should just follow the leader and tell Helena to megabluck herself for being a stupid megablock?

Or how about no, how about we deal with this situation calmly instead of throwing tantrums. Regardless about negotiating with terrorists or not, this isn't exactly a normal situation. Yes, she could reveal the names of everyone, and megabluck us over. But, we could appeal to her human instincts, and not her animal ones, and attempt to win her favor. Thus, potentially saving the town. Of course, that can't be allowed to the scum. So let's just burn the witch and be done with it; and not even think about Day 5...

I'm operating under the pretense she isn't lying, it's the worst possible scenario and the one I'll follow. So, given this, I don't want her to destroy town. There isn't anything else we can do except cooperate at the moment.

Vote: Orion Kettleboil

Either you or Nicholas, both of you are probably scum.

[Dillpickle Catterweed]

Helena, thou art mistaken if thou imagines that I do not have my wits about me. Thou art playing a gambit that thou doth believe to be in thy best interest. If what thou hath said about thy role is indeed true, then thou art indeed worthy of all the scorn heaped upon thee. Thou couldst have found a way to work with the town that did portend to be of help rather than harm.

Am I the only one who's seriously pinged by this post? I don't even know why this pings me so much. It's like I don't have any control over my little monkey hands - I feel like I could type "Vote: Belinda Bugglesby" at any time without even intending it.

Belinda hath been increasingly building a case against herself, that today hath simply heightened. Helena, however, must go today. We cannot risk the possibility that she may recruit another to her cause or that she can continue in another way.

Dillpickle, I'm not an expert on hostage situations or anything, but it sounds to me like she's pretty serious about outing everything if we don't let her live. I kinda-sorta feel like lynching a serial killer who can't kill just because we're pissed off at the fact that she's throwing a tantrum.

I believe that she is serious. I don't believe she is being honest about her situation. I believe that town can overcome whatever she doth wrought upon us.

Basically, Helena's a four year old holding her breath in the toy store to get what she wants. While the proper response to that situation is to hold your breath too

Thou doth not have a 4 year old. The proper response is to call their bluff until they are forced to breath agin. At which point, they are broken and thou art once agin in command of the situation.

You see, you keep saying it's the town's fault you are going to be lynched. It's really not, we have to lynch you to win anyways. You brought this on yourself, when you said you were a 100% sure Purplonia was town, and you decided to go this route, there is no other outcome than you being lynched here today. If you're going to make a deal with the town that will end up in us letting you live for the time being, which doesn't work anyway with our win condition being as is, you should have made sure you could swing both ways. Meaning: you should have made sure you knew at least one scum, so you could say: Don't help me, I release PRs, help me, I give you a Scum. Easier said than done, but right now we have NO benefit to letting you live. What's keeping you from telling the names of the PR's anyway? And by the way, what proof have we got that you know these PR's? You can keep blabbing on about this, but that's the reality of it. You are going to be lynched, we really have no choice in that. The only two things up for grabs is how people will view you from now on.

I can tell you that I didst not give her my role despite contacting her in good faith in an effort to work with her. There was always the possibility that she was playing some gambit, and that has now proven true. If as many town PR's claimed to her as she says they did, then they are all far greater fools than I expected them to be. Still, there are more than enough townies remaining to combat anything the Odor Eaters can throw at us even with improved information. For all I know, Helena hath already given them the information she threatens.

[Drubulum Panck]

What I wonder is what you people are trying to accomplish by being such pickle-dickles? A few of you have mentioned that you don't care whether town or scum wins now so long as Helena is lynched. Great! What a great way to play! Talk about a lack of sportsmanship! We are supposed to lynch scum here, that's our main goal. That's the rules of life to go against that and saying you don't care is just a waste to us all and shows that the rules don't concern you so long as you can get the last laugh on the likes of Helena. Honestly, she's not worth your time. We can be pretty sure that Helena is not scum, because if she is she has to be a pretty idiotic one, but in our great desire to lynch Helena, let's not forget to look at other situations that need our attendance. Sure we're all mad at her. She's annoying and it is our responsibility to lynch her, so why not? I understand that, but let's not waste this day in arguing with someone who will not be convinced by your arguments and who cannot convince you of hers. Focus on what's going on around us. Scum are tearing apart the town bit by bit, and we've got to do something to change that. Why must you waste our day by posting such garbage-filled rants that don't help us with anything? Are you trying to convince the rest of us to vote for Helena? Maybe, but you don't think that we can see that she's a liar ourselves? The situation has been clearly laid out and I think it's pretty obvious what the possibilities are as far as Helena bluffing or being sincere, etc. Let's focus on more important things. Helena may be our lynch for today, but we've got tomorrow to think about as well. For now I'm blank, but I'm going to put on my thinking cap and try to come up with something. We all know we need it.

[Barkonius Twitch]

Vote: Helena Hippopaw.

Objective:

Order of the Penis wins when all of the Odor Eaters are dead, including any third-parties.

That's why.