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Posted (edited)

Let's see...

Women always worry about the things that men forget; men always worry about the things women remember.
The things that come to those who wait are probably the things left by those who got there first.
A compromise is an agreement in which both parties get what neither of them wanted.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
It doesn't matter whether you win or lose. What matters is whether I win or lose.
Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
In theory, there is no difference between practice and theory. But in practice, there is.
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.
There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
If you can keep your head while people all around you are losing theirs, you probably don't understand the problem.
Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle aged men.

Okay enough quotes from me. :-$

P.S. Okay, why is my html showing?

Edited by iamded
Posted (edited)
A compromise is an agreement in which both parties get what neither of them wanted.

:-D That one's great!

I've just thought of a classic cricketing gaff, that's bound to be remembered always. I'm not a fan of sport by any means, and I didn't hear this one myself, but:

The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey.

:-D

Edited by Brainbox
Posted

"Vicksburg is the key.And we must have it in our pocket."-Abe Lincoln 1862

"Whatever happens now,there's no turning back."-Ulysus S. Grant 1864

"He has lost his left arm,but I have lost my right."-Robert E, Lee 1863

Posted
Here's a great Chinese proverb;

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.

Oh, you don't know how many times I've heard that in RE...

The fish are sick of it as well... one they could spare ;-) X-D

God Bless,

Nathan

Posted
Some people have problems with snakes of the non-rubber variety.

Now, before you start scratching your heads, let me explain. It's a lot funnier when you know the situation.

During the summer, the High Desert Museum (bend, OR) has a show called Desert Dwellers, involving the birds of prey and reptiles of the area. This summer, however, has been a bit chilly. So, since the temperature was below 60 degrees Fahrenheit, we couldn't show the reptiles in the show. So we substistuted, with... rubber reptiles! :-D Just imagine, the staff, playing their part, saying "I think I've spotted one of the animals native to this area! I think it's a...*holds up fake reptile* "A rubber reptile! Isn't he amazing?" while trying not to crack up. :-D

Posted

Either you had to be there, or we bird of prey volunteers (and staff) are just crazy... :'-( Then again, maybe you have to be crazy to be up early to be washing out mews with a hose when it's cold, rather than staying in our nice, warm bed...

Posted

Three of my favourites

"73 percent of statistics are made up."- I can't remember where I got it but I shall quote away.

"don't get cocky"- I just love the banter between Han and Luke during the battle.

"Nobody move, dropped me brain."- Pirates of the Carribean At World's End

Posted

A bit late but:

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.
Excellent 1 *y*!

101010 On

copmike

Posted (edited)

(sorry about the caps lock)

FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY

1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA, FLOOR...

2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.

3. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?

4. THE MAIN REASON SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.

5. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, "WHERE'S THE SELF-HELP SECTION?" SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.

6. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?

7. IF A DEAF PERSON SWEARS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?

8. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?

9. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?

10. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO "GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?"

11. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?

12. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?

13. WOULD A FLY WITHOUT WINGS BE CALLED A WALK?

14. WHY DO THEY LOCK GAS STATION BATHROOMS? ARE THEY AFRAID SOMEONE WILL CLEAN THEM?

15. IF A TURTLE DOESN'T HAVE A SHELL, IS HE HOMELESS OR NAKED?

16. CAN VEGETARIANS EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS?

17. IF THE POLICE ARREST A MIME, DO THEY TELL HIM HE HAS THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT?

18. WHY DO THEY PUT BRAILLE ON THE DRIVE-THROUGH BANK MACHINES?

19. HOW DO THEY GET DEER TO CROSS THE ROAD ONLY AT THOSE YELLOW ROAD SIGNS?

20. WHAT WAS THE BEST THING BEFORE SLICED BREAD?

21. ONE NICE THING ABOUT EGOTISTS: THEY DON'T TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

22. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE A CIVIL WAR?

23. IF ONE SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMER DROWNS, DO THE REST DROWN TOO?

24. IF YOU ATE BOTH PASTA AND ANTIPASTO, WOULD YOU STILL BE HUNGRY?

25. IF YOU TRY TO FAIL, AND SUCCEED, WHICH HAVE YOU! DONE?

26. WHOSE CRUEL IDEA WAS IT FOR THE WORD "LISP" TO HAVE "S" IN IT?

27. WHY IS IT CALLED TOURIST SEASON IF WE CAN'T SHOOT AT THEM?

28. WHY IS THERE AN EXPIRATION DATE ON SOUR CREAM?

29. IF YOU SPIN AN ORIENTAL MAN IN A CIRCLE THREE TIMES DOES HE BECOME DISORIENTED?

30. CAN AN ATHEIST GET INSURANCE AGAINST ACTS OF GOD?

X-D

Edited by Mr. Mandalorian
Posted (edited)

"Some men are born great, and others have greatness thrust opoun them."

"That party last night was so crazy, this morning I s**t a squirell. No, I REALLY s**t a squirell. I've got a s**t covered squirell in my office, and I have no I idea of what to do with it." "Oh, Champ, I think I ate your chocolate squirell."- Anchor Man: The Legend of Ron Burgandy

"This movie is based on real events. Only the names, dates, and events have been changed."- Anchor Man

"Yeah, and I want to be the king of Australia."- Ron Burgandy

"I'm Ron Burgandy saying, stay classy San Diego."- Ron Burgandy

"I'm Ron Burgandy saying, go f**k yourself San Diego."- Ron Burgandy

Some great qoutes from a great man:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"All our dreams come true, if we have the courage to pursue them."- Walter Elias Disney

"You can dream, create, disign, and build the most wonderfull place in the world, but it requires people to make the dream become reality."- Walter Elias Disney

"Adults are interested if you don't play down to the little 2 or 3 year olds or talk down. I don't believe in talking down to children. I don't believe in talking down to any certain segment. I like to kind of just talk in a general way to the audience. Children are always reaching."- Walter Elias Disney

"I have no use for people who throw their weight around as celebrities, or for those who fawn over you just because you are famous." - Walter Elias Disney

"Crowded classrooms and half-day sessions are a tragic waste of our greatest national resource - the minds of our children."- Walter Elias Disney

"Or heritage and ideals, our code and standards - the things we live by and teach our children - are preserved or diminished by how freely we exchange ideas and feelings."- Walter Elias Disney

"We are not trying to entertain the critics. I'll take my chances with the public."- Walter Elias Disney

" You reach a point where you don't work for money."- Walter Elias Disney

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible."- Walter Elias Disney

"When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionable."-Walter Elias Disney

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Edited by Norrington
Posted
*sigh* :-| first of all, Jesus has night vision. Second of all, there wouldn't be any megabloks in his house because he is loyal to the LEGO brand. And finally, megabloks make the baby Jesus cry because they are super crappy...and pure evil.

X-D :-D :-P

Posted (edited)
"73 percent of statistics are made up."- I can't remember where I got it but I shall quote away.

That's in a 'wise cracks' book I have.

42.7 percent of statistics are made up on the spot.
Research shows that fourteen out of ten people like chocolate.
A recent survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75 per cent of the world's population.
I like the 50-50-90 rule: Any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 per cent probability you'll get it wrong.
:-P

Here's acouple more un-statistic related one.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong.

A tax is a fine for doing well.

Borrow money from pessimists. They don't expect it back.
:-D Edited by iamded
Posted

A few songs from Disney that I find interesting/ inspiring:

"Yo-Ho-Yo-Ho A Pirate's Life for Me!" By Xavier Antencio and sung by George Burns and The Mello Men

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.

We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot,

Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot,

Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.

We extort, we pilfer, we filch, and sack,

Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Maraud and embezzle, and even high-jack,

Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.

We kindle and char, inflame and ignite,

Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

We burn up the city, we're really a fright,

Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

We're rascals, scoundrels, villans, and knaves,

Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs,

Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.

We're beggars and blighters, ne'er-do-well cads,

Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

Aye, but we're loved by our mommies and dads,

Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.

"Grim Grinning Ghosts" By Xavier Antencio, Buddy Baker, and sung by the Mello Men

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When the crypt goes creak,

And the tombstones quake.

Spooks come out for a swinging wake.

Happy haunts materialize,

And begin to vocalize.

Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize.

Now don't close your eyes,

And don't try to hide.

Or a silly spook may sit by your side.

Shrouded in a daft disguise,

They pretend to terrorize.

Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize.

As the moon climbs high o'er the dead oak tree,

Spooks arrive for the midnight spree.

Creepy creeps with eerie eyes,

Start to shriek and harmonize.

Grim grinning ghosts come out to socialize.

When you hear the knell of a requiem bell,

Weird glows gleam where spirits dwell.

Restless bones etherialize,

Rise as spooks of every size.

If you would like to join our jamboree,

There's a simple rule that's compulsory.

Mortals pay a token fee.

Rest in peace, the haunting's free.

So hurry back, we would like your company.

"It's a Small World After All" By The Sherman Brothers, sung by some children's chorus, and played over and over again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's a world of laughter

A world of tears

It's a world of hopes

And a world of fears

There's so much that we share

That it's time we're aware

It's a small world after all

There is just one moon

And one golden sun

And a smile means

Friendship to ev'ryone

Though the mountains divide

And the oceans are wide

It's a small world after all

It's a small world after all

It's a small world after all

It's a small world after all

It's a small, small world

The Scare-Crow of Romney Marsh by The Sherman Bothers (?)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scarecrow! Scarecrow!

The soldiers of the King feared his name. Scarecrow!

On the southern coast of England, there's a legend people tell,

Of days long ago when the great Scarecrow would ride from the jaws of Hell

And laugh ... with a fiendish yell!

With his clothes all torn and tattered,

Through the black of night he'd ride,

From the marsh to the coast like a demon ghost

He'd show his face then hide *He'd rob the rich then hide*

And he'd laugh ... till he split his side!

Scarecrow! *Scarecrow!* Scarecrow! *Scarecrow!*

The soldiers of the King feared his name.

Scarecrow! *Scarecrow!* Scarecrow! *Scarecrow!*

The country folk all loved him just the same. Scarecrow!

He would always help the farmer, when there was no gold to bring,

He'd find a way for the poor to pay the taxes of the King

"Scarecrow!" - every man would sing! *With gold from a smuggler's ring!*

So the King told all his soldiers, "Hang him high or hang him low,

But never return till the day I learn He's gone in flames below (He rides in flames below)

Or you'll hang - with the great Scarecrow!"

Scarecrow! *Scarecrow!* Scarecrow! *Scarecrow!*

The soldiers of the King feared his name.

Scarecrow! *Scarecrow!* Scarecrow! *Scarecrow!*

The country folk all loved him just the same.

Scarecrow! Scarecrow! Scarecrow! *Demonic Laughter*

Perhaps I'll post some other Disney Classics, like "When you wish opoun a star", "A dream is a wish your heart makes", and the "Ballad of Davy Crockett".

Posted

"Ooh, look how late it is! I better get you kids some coffee." - Marge Simpson

And my favourite song: *sweet*

Living easy, livin' free

Season ticket, on a one - way ride

Asking nothing, leave me be

Taking everything in my stride

Don't need reason, don't need rhyme

Ain't nothing I would rather do

Going down, party time

My friends are gonna be there too

I'm on the highway to hell

Highway to hell

I'm on the highway to hell

Highway to hell

No stop signs, speedin' limit

Nobody's gonna slow me down

Like a wheel, gonna spin it

Nobody's gonna mess me 'round

Hey Satan! Paid my dues.

Playin' in a rockin' band

Hey Mama! Look at me

I'm on my way to the promise land

I'm on the highway to hell

Highway to hell

I'm on the highway to hell

Highway to hell

Dont stop me!

By AC/DC *wub*

Posted

"Where hinges creak in doorless chambers; And strange, frightening sounds echo through the halls; Where-ever candle-lights flicker, where air is deathly still; That is the time when ghosts are present, practising their terror, with... ghoulish delight."- The Ghost Host, Haunted Mansion

"Welcome Foolish Mortals, to the Haunted Mansion. I am your host, your ghost host. Hmm... Our tour will begin in this gallery, where you see paintings our previous guests in their corruptable, mortal, state."- The Ghost Host

"Ghosties, and ghoulies from last Halloween, awaken the spirits with your tamberine! Witches, and Wizards, where-ever you dwell, give us a hint, by... ringing a bell! Spiders, Spirits, tail of a Rat, call in the spirits, where-ever they're at!"- Madame Leota

"Ah, there you are. There is a little matter I forgot to mention: Beware, of HITCH HIKING GHOSTS! MWA-HA-HA-Ha! The Happy Haunts have selected you to fill our qouta, and a ghost will follow you home!"- The Ghost Host

"Hurry back, hurry back! Be sure to bring your death certificate, (Get it?) if you decide to join us. We're just dying to have you."-Little Leota

Posted
"It's nothing personal, just bussines"

"I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse"

Hmm... I for sure heard those in PotC III... and both from Lord Beckett... looks like someones been watching to much GodFather...

Posted
the "Ballad of Davy Crockett".

Born on a mountain top in Tennessee;

Greenest state in the land of the free;

Raised in the woods 'til he knew every tree;

Killed him a b'ar when he was only three;

Davy, Davy Crockett, king of the wild frontier.

He fought single handed through the Injun war;

Till the Creeks was whipped and peace was restored;

And while he was handling this risky chore;

Made himself a legend, forevermore;

Davy, Davy Crockett the man who don't know fear.

When he lost his love, and his grief was gall;

In his heart he wanted to leave it all;

And lose himself in the forest tall;

But he answered instead, his country's call;

Davy, Davy Crockett, the choice of the whole frontier

He went off to Congress and served a spell;

Fixin' up the government and laws as well;

Took over Washington, so we hear tell;

And patched up the crack in the Liberty Bell;

Davy, Davy Crockett, seein' his duty clear.

When he come home, his politickin' done;

The western march had just begun;

So he packed his gear, and his trusty gun;

And lit out a grinnin' to follow the sun;

Davy, Davy Crockett, Leadin the Pioneers.

His land is biggest, and his land is best;

From grassy plains to the mountain crest;

He's ahead of us all in meeting the test;

Followin' his legend right into the West;

Davy, Davy Crockett, King of the Wide Frontier

I think there may be some verses missing, particularly one about the Alamo...

Steve, who thinks we need a Davy Crockett Lego theme...

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