Heroica RPG - Quest#102: Debts

[Chromeknight]

Nerwen continues speaking, aware that the dark swirl of regret yet hovers nearby. Before you asked me to step aside, Avertine had asked me, and I had agreed, to stand beside him insofar as doing that would preserve his life.

I interfered, as you put it, because he asked me to, in asking us to protect him from harm and death, a task we failed to complete.

Perhaps he ought not have asked to be protected, perhaps I might have suggested he had no right to have us there. Perhaps if we had spent more that half a day with him over this week we would have seen who he was and so not defended him at the end. All these are but maybes.

If you had asked me to kill him I would have or I would have told you why I chose not to. Why should killing him and protecting him not both be good and right actions. Your insistence of thinking in dualities, good and evil, strong and weak, right and wrong is perverse. It assumes you know all, that you can definitively assign everything to one or the other. Granted there are things that can be so assigned, but it is false thinking to assume that because some can, all can.

It sounds that you are indeed upset we fought against you however much you protest that you are not and only want to understand.

Let me spell it out again. The amulet was a tool of fear, the threat of failing the quest was a tool of fear. What overcomes fear? Either more fear or love. Alexis and Russel, because they knew you, loved you more than they feared Avertine. But they did not share that love. Having no love for you, not knowing you, nor any greater fear, I remained where my word had placed me, beside Avertine. Does it reflect badly on me that I acted out of fear not love? Perhaps. But what was I to love in this circumstance? My friends? Russel and EcksEcks and Matthias? Did I not act in love toward them, prepared even to abandon Avertine if it meant their life?

What of you? Did you act from fear or love when you killed Avertine?

Edited November 11, 2014 by Chromeknight

[Zepher]

"I would strive to abandon the duality that you accuse me of, but I am but mortal, I will admit. I do not believe in good or evil, and do not believe in fear or love, but that does not mean I do not feel them. Words are only so much, ideologies only so much. I fought for my life, and it is something that I will have always done."

"I say only one more word in my defense. I do not believe that good and evil exist out there, beyond our own heads. Out there, we are but actions - no, less than that. Forces. We are but forces such as the clouds and the sun. The sun, when it shines, is not good nor evil. So when we act we act neither good nor evil, unless we decide for ourselves. Yet we act. We do. And just as the sun, when it shines, causes plants to grow, so do we, when we act, cause death and decay or life and prosperity. We do what we do. It is not a question of the individual, but of the collective. How will we all choose how to act as a group. What will be the effect that we mortals have on the world?"

"But who am I to judge you? I myself just acted out of fear for my own death, though I know little of what I may do for or against the world in the future. Shouldn't I have just let the universe take it's course with me? You fought for your friends lives, and I did indeed notice your willingness to leave when they were in danger. I cannot speak for the universe, but I am of the belief that that is only good. Whatever I may think of some of your friends... I can respect that. If you would have it, I would like to enable you. You are a warrior of light, I know. I ask you not to serve another god, but to serve mortals as a whole. If we continue to empower the forces that choose to serve instead of those that choose to take, we can lead ourselves to a greater future. What say you, Nerwen? Can you accept an enemies blessing? Can you choose love over fear?"

[Chromeknight]

Nerwen, having begun speaking, lecturing Chauncey really, cannot stop.

When you say you do not believe in them, what are you saying? Surely you cannot be saying they do not exist, since you admit you feel love and fear, you do good and evil. Equally you likely do not mean that you do not trust love and fear, as if they were persons who make promises that they keep or break. But if you mean that you do not believe that love and fear exist in an elemental abstract state, as if there were a fear brick out there, perhaps coloured yellow, that every example of fear must refer back to, then you have denied nothing meaningful about fear or love or any other concept. If this is the conclusion you draw when you say words are only so much, that they have power, yet not plastic existence, then we agree on the nature of things.

As for mortals being merely forces, this is a diminishment for what it means to be person. A person is not simply what they do, but what they intend as well. And intent never stays hidden. It is revealed in a person's satisfaction with the results of their actions. You killed Avertine. Are you satisfied with that result? Are you regretful? or are your reactions mixed, unclear? Are you motives mixed, acting as you say from both love of your own life yet also love of him who was once like a brother. Is not your individual action sufficiently distinct to see it's effect here? A man lies dead at your hand. One person can change the world, you certainly changed the world for Avertine.

But yes, we are more than just ourselves, as we discussed earlier, our actions have manifold consequences beyond ourselves, not least in revealing our motives which may be judged for good or ill. I have no quibble with you judging me, I own my actions and will explain my intent to any who ask, as you have wanted to know.

Nerwen continues gently but firmly,

You are not my enemy. You never were. I did not take the field in fear of you or for love of the one pitted against you by your shadowy benefactor. But equally I will not accept a gift with strings or conditions. If you would benefit me because you recognise the truth of the words I have spoken or see me as a servant of the Gods, of the Quessir and all those who consider themselves people, then go ahead. Like you I do not know where the world will take me, but I will continue to defend those who cannot defend themselves. If you would bless me, do so. But unlike Alexis I cannot consider you a friend or fellow worker until your regret is expunged and your buisness with that shadowy entity is completely concluded. I will not be beholden to you or him as to the use of anything you give me.

And if you value my word, extend such care as you would bestow on me to my companion Matthias also, if he accepts. I have seen his intent as we have travelled together, I judge it to be good.

[StickFig]

Matthias is content to hold his peace as the paladin lectures; he knows better than to think he'll be able to get a word in edgewise. In any case, he doesn't have all that much to say. When he sees Chuancey glancing in his direction, he only says, "You deny good and evil, but that does not change the fact that they exist. Your fairy stooge thought that only strength made right; she was exactly wrong. It is right and good to have strength, yes; it is wrong and evil to use that strength against the weak simply because they are weak."

[Chromeknight]

Having finished and hearing Matthias speak for himself, Nerwen steps to the side, checking on XX.

Sorry if you feel drowned out Stick! that's not my intention. I can get a bit carried away with the walls of text. Nerwen's done now, the floor is yours, he wants to know why you stood by Avertine.

[Masked Builder]

She rounds on Alexis, who is quietly gloating.

Yes, you won a battle. Well done.

But you failed the quest.

Why did you even accept the quest, knowing that we were employed by a man bound to kill Chauncey? Surely you are neither ignorant nor stupid, which leaves only that you are selfish beyond measure. That you would knowingly betray your employer and give your fellow party members no warning, no arguement or inducement to accompany you in your faithlessness, no reason to excuse your untrustworthiness.

You are more edain than quessir.

"So? I failed the quest, it's not something I'm unaccustomed to. It was right in my eyes, I feel quite happy with my choices." Alexis pauses. "Even if it costs me some friends."

[Chromeknight]

It is not so much the failed quest, but that even though you thought it right you did not try to persuade us to join you. You did not think it right for us also.

[Masked Builder]

"I left you to make your own choice. It was no business of mine to make it for you."

[Chromeknight]

But by keeping relevant information from us, that Chauncey was trustworthy and reasonable, you impared our ability to make an informed choice.

Edited November 12, 2014 by Chromeknight

[Purpearljellyblob]

Purpearl frowns at the conversation between Alexis and Nerwen, disappointed at the way Nerwen tries to shift the blame to someone, like Alexis, for the lapse in her own decision making skills instead of owning up to it. But Purpearl makes no attempts to make her emotions known, she simply looks away.

[Chromeknight]

Seeing Purpearl look away, Nerwen asks quietly

Do you have something to add?

[Masked Builder]

"So it's my fault you chose the loosing side?"

[Zepher]

OoC: We're all doing lots of writing here.

Nerwen, having begun speaking, lecturing Chauncey really, cannot stop.

When you say you do not believe in them, what are you saying? Surely you cannot be saying they do not exist, since you admit you feel love and fear, you do good and evil. Equally you likely do not mean that you do not trust love and fear, as if they were persons who make promises that they keep or break. But if you mean that you do not believe that love and fear exist in an elemental abstract state, as if there were a fear brick out there, perhaps coloured yellow, that every example of fear must refer back to, then you have denied nothing meaningful about fear or love or any other concept. If this is the conclusion you draw when you say words are only so much, that they have power, yet not plastic existence, then we agree on the nature of things.

As for mortals being merely forces, this is a diminishment for what it means to be person. A person is not simply what they do, but what they intend as well. And intent never stays hidden. It is revealed in a person's satisfaction with the results of their actions. You killed Avertine. Are you satisfied with that result? Are you regretful? or are your reactions mixed, unclear? Are you motives mixed, acting as you say from both love of your own life yet also love of him who was once like a brother. Is not your individual action sufficiently distinct to see it's effect here? A man lies dead at your hand. One person can change the world, you certainly changed the world for Avertine.

But yes, we are more than just ourselves, as we discussed earlier, our actions have manifold consequences beyond ourselves, not least in revealing our motives which may be judged for good or ill. I have no quibble with you judging me, I own my actions and will explain my intent to any who ask, as you have wanted to know.

Nerwen continues gently but firmly,

You are not my enemy. You never were. I did not take the field in fear of you or for love of the one pitted against you by your shadowy benefactor. But equally I will not accept a gift with strings or conditions. If you would benefit me because you recognise the truth of the words I have spoken or see me as a servant of the Gods, of the Quessir and all those who consider themselves people, then go ahead. Like you I do not know where the world will take me, but I will continue to defend those who cannot defend themselves. If you would bless me, do so. But unlike Alexis I cannot consider you a friend or fellow worker until your regret is expunged and your buisness with that shadowy entity is completely concluded. I will not be beholden to you or him as to the use of anything you give me.

And if you value my word, extend such care as you would bestow on me to my companion Matthias also, if he accepts. I have seen his intent as we have travelled together, I judge it to be good.

"I have a love of words, but I never feel that I am capable of wielding them as I like - I am no Stirlance. Yes, I mean just that. There is no love brick or fear brick, yellow or black or red or any color. They only exist because you and I and Matthias and Aventine and Zelphie all felt them. But they do not exist as when we say love or fear. They are, as I think you may believe, there but not there, more than just the words that we speak. When we say love, what do we mean? It is a force that we feel, that flows, that is in flux, not a measurement that we can take."

"As for intent - you again are with me and against me. I killed Aventine because of what I intend to do - give - as opposed to what I believed he intended to do - take. But you say that we are more than force, we are our intent as well, and that is not true. We are only a force. What makes mortals different than the fish, or the grass, or the sun? Intent? No. That distinguishes you from me, perhaps, but we still only act upon the world by that which we do. If I intend good but kill, the effect is still death. The intention does not change the impact. How you and I interpret the death after that is little matter - just as fear and love only exist within us, so too does the intention of that action. To the grass, to the sun, that force - the mortal force - is still gone. It means nothing but the force was there and is no more. Intention is not in the now, it is in the past, and the past is not there at all. Aventine may have intended to do great goods, and Zelphie great evils, or perhaps vice versa, but what good is that? None. It is meaningless, those intentions."

"I give my gift with no strings. I am not done with the Master of Regret, but my business with him from now on is as private as my business before. Aventine brought you into his sphere, not I. My people were told to stop you on every turn until I could not stop you any longer. So I grant you my gift."

"I ask only that you use it for what you deem good, not for that which you are blind to or that which you see as evil. I cannot know your intent, but I can hope."

Chauncey gently places the palm of his right hand on Zelphie's head. She feels stronger.

Nerwen gains 8 power.

Matthias is content to hold his peace as the paladin lectures; he knows better than to think he'll be able to get a word in edgewise. In any case, he doesn't have all that much to say. When he sees Chuancey glancing in his direction, he only says, "You deny good and evil, but that does not change the fact that they exist. Your fairy stooge thought that only strength made right; she was exactly wrong. It is right and good to have strength, yes; it is wrong and evil to use that strength against the weak simply because they are weak."

"I could not take Nerwen's endorsement of you, but I need hear no more. If you speak with truth, and I must hope you do, then I have high hopes for you, Matthias. I hope we can meet as allies some day."

Chauncey places his palm on Matthias' head.

Matthias gains 8 power.

"And for you, Alexis. Thank you." He hands Alexis three 3 Amethyst Lamps of Summoning before pressing his palm to her forehead.

Alexis gains 12 power.

Having finished and hearing Matthias speak for himself, Nerwen steps to the side, checking on XX.

XX coughs meekly.

"That bastard got me good. Don't think he'll be coming over here to press his hand onto my head, huh?" He scowls. "Tell Matthais I need that gold or that gun. I assume you'll all be heading back to your Hall once blabber mouth over there stops giving out blessings. I don't think I'll be making the trip home with you. Think I'll stick around here for a while," he tries to get to his feet, and then falls back against the tree. "Right around here, I guess. Gods be damned. I hate wizards." He props his hand cannon up across his legs. "Tell Nyx I say hello, okay? And that Heroica killed another one of my clients. And tell her you left me somewhere better than this, and that I said something good. I dunno, you're better with words than me."

[Chromeknight]

"So it's my fault you chose the loosing side?"

Nerwen replies mildly.

I chose. The choice was mine. I was clear about that while speaking to Chauncey. And I accept there are consequences of the choice I made. However, if we are discussing whether my choice was wrong or bad, I am pointing out that the flaw in the choice lies not in my process of choosing but in the information given about the options I was asked to chose from. And some of the consequences we suffer here are the product of others' choices.

As for the side I was on losing, that can certainly be laid at your feet. Chauncey must thank you for his very life, he would not have survived if he did not have you next to him drugging him into invincibility.

To XX she speaks softly,

Rest. The danger is past.

I will speak to Nyx for you, when next I see her. Is there anything else you wish to say? I shall be discrete with any message you choose to send through me. But you will have all my skill at words. And I will make sure Matthias completes your bargin with him, rest now.

Edited November 12, 2014 by Chromeknight

[StickFig]

Sorry if you feel drowned out Stick!

Hahahaha not at all; I am pretty busy this week so I'm more bemoaning the fact that I don't have time to participate more... Matthias isn't really one for long speeches anyway.

Chauncey places his palm on Matthias' head.

Completely unsure of what's going on, Matthias feels rooted to the ground for a moment, but it passes... and is replaced by a crushing headache. Blinking in the sunlight that seems suddenly too bright, the gnome stumbles back, wanting to put distance between himself and Chauncey. He spots Calmcacil standing near 'XX', and heads in their direction.

"Urrrgh..." Matthias mumbles, rubbing his eyes. Noticing the expectant look on 'XX's face, he remembers the borrowed cannon. Rolling it in his hands, the tiny ranger is about to hand it over, but instead impulsively puts his hand to his pouch. Pulling out a little more than half his gold, he hands it to the bigger cannoneer. "Here's your money," he says somewhat brusquely, but then softens. "I still owe you a shot on the Fireball, once I get it back." Maybe it's the headache, but the gnome's bass voice almost sounds sentimental. "Are you coming back to Eubric with us?"

[Purpearljellyblob]

Purpearl turns to Alexis, "I can see why you are one of the strongest in Heroica, both in resolve and capability. It is unfortunate that as a newbie I had to fight against you, but you chose your side and I chose mine, and I am truly humbled. This duel is not just another duel between two grudging sides, in the end, it was a test of character and how one would react in face of impending death and failure. I am not surprised you have chosen to side Chauncey, and it is also interesting to see how some would appear to be ashamed to be on the losing side and not owning up to it graciously." To no one is particular, "In the end, although we failed to protect Aventine, we failed not because of we are weak physically, it's because some of us tried to please everyone and ended up forgetting what is important when we first pen our names onto that board back at the Hall."

[StickFig]

"You mean like a certain very experienced Hero you were busy sucking up to just now?" Matthias mumbles while rubbing his eyes.

[Purpearljellyblob]

"Perhaps if you remember a certain circus performer once said, speak up so that others can hear whatever you're saying."

[Chromeknight]

Nerwen replies just as quietly to Matthias.

She means me. Perhaps I ought lend her the cowl and she might see Russel and Pigley as people rather than pets?

Having mentioned them, she looks around for them.

<What will you do next brave crab?>

[StickFig]

As the blush rising up his ears adds to the ache pounding in Matthias' temples, he remembers again that elves have excellent hearing. "Perhaps we should simply speak in the animals' language from now on, and leave Lady Purpearl out?" he says, only half-joking. Seeing the pig and his crab, he continues, "I think some healing magic might not go amiss with these two, Lady Nerwen, if you have the strength."

Missed it earlier! My bad.

Edited November 12, 2014 by StickFig

[Masked Builder]

"And for you, Alexis. Thank you." He hands Alexis three 3 Amethyst Lamps of Summoning before pressing his palm to her forehead.

"You're welcome." Alexis feels the power flow into her. "I thank you for your gifts."

Nerwen replies mildly.

I chose. The choice was mine. I was clear about that while speaking to Chauncey. And I accept there are consequences of the choice I made. However, if we are discussing whether my choice was wrong or bad, I am pointing out that the flaw in the choice lies not in my process of choosing but in the information given about the options I was asked to chose from. And some of the consequences we suffer here are the product of others' choices.

As for the side I was on losing, that can certainly be laid at your feet. Chauncey must thank you for his very life, he would not have survived if he did not have you next to him drugging him into invincibility.

Alexis throws her hands up in exasperation. She ignores Matthias' comment.

[Zepher]

Rest. The danger is past.

I will speak to Nyx for you, when next I see her. Is there anything else you wish to say? I shall be discrete with any message you choose to send through me. But you will have all my skill at words. And I will make sure Matthias completes your bargin with him, rest now.

"Oh, I don't doubt you'll keep tight lips except for her. You're trustworthy, Nerwen, and I'm not sure who saved my life, exactly, but if I had to guess Aventine didn't do it out of the kindness of his heart. You, Matthias and Purpearl are pretty a-okay in my book, and Hel, Alexis too - we're used to fighting on opposite sides. But really all I need for Nyx to know is that you guys left me alive."

"I still owe you a shot on the Fireball, once I get it back." Maybe it's the headache, but the gnome's bass voice almost sounds sentimental. "Are you coming back to Eubric with us?"

"No, I'm staying here." XX grins cockily. "Until I can get onto my two feet myself. Not joking, and no argument. This ain't a model day for me. Lost another contract. My track record isn't one to brag about at this point. What have I done over the last few years. Couldn't kill Nikolai or any of my other contracts, couldn't keep U'Vires alive, couldn't get you heroes to save Sphinx, couldn't save Aventine. Maybe I've completed an odd job from time to time, but it's nothing to be proud of. I'm going to assume that the world ain't treating me unfairly and that I got to be better. So I'm going to give myself a trial by fire. I'll either get up, or I won't." He shrugs. "But if I do, I'll find you, Matthias, and take my turn with that cannon of yours. And we can buy each other a drink."

Nerwen replies just as quietly to Matthias.

She means me. Perhaps I ought lend her the cowl and she might see Russel and Pigley as people rather than pets?

Having mentioned them, she looks around for them.

<What will you do next brave crab?>

"It's back to Eubric with us! There is always good to do in that city!"

"And perhaps then to Bric'Lin, back to Chauncey's manor. I would like to see what the man we saved is really up to."

"And the Frog Paladins are stationed near-by there- maybe. I don't remember if we're supposed to reveal that to humans. So... pretend you didn't hear that!"

Purpearl and Alexis, while the other two heroes talk to their companions, stroll through the battle field, checking for anything they can salvage.

Loot for Alexis to Distribute

Magical Tricorne (SP:3, Immunity to Fire),

Aventine's Cape (Immunity to Darkness and Water)

Ruby

Amethyst

Loot for Purpearl to Distribute

Zelphie's Staff (WP: 20, Cannot be imbued with gems, damages Undead)

Counterstrike Gloves (Counter Free-Hits)

Conductor Helmet (Artefact. SP:1, Immune to Lightning)

Hammer (WP:6)

Scroll of Confusion

Bedroll

Venom

2 Remedies

Fire Bomb

Shovel

Pickaxe

Magic Compass

Telescope

Magnifying Glass

OoC: Final addresses to those characters you're leaving behind (XX, Chauncey, Master of Regret) if you have them, distribute loot, and then I think we can make moves to wrap this up. Hopefully we can wrap it up tomorrow - that's my birthday, and I like ending quests on important days!

[Purpearljellyblob]

Purpearl gathers the loot and returns a number of items back to Nerwen [Opal, Diamond, Garnet, Sapphire, Emerald, Aquamarine, Scroll of Sleep, Scroll of Sealing, Scroll of Blindness, Scroll of Weakening, Scroll of Fragile, Scroll of Confusion, Magical Staff (WP: 15; Water-,Darkness-elemental; staff)]

Loot Distribution

Alexis - Pickaxe, Shovel, Venom, Bedroll

Nerwen - Telescope, Fire Bomb, Counterstrike Gloves, Hammer

Matthis - Magic Compass, 2 x Remedies, Conductor Helmet

Purpearl - Magnifying Glass, Scroll of Confusion, Zelphie's Staff

Purpearl starts to dig the ground using her Shovel, hoping to give Aventine a decent burial, at the very least. She turns to XX, and shrugs, "This is all. We will meet again, someday."

[StickFig]

"...And we can buy each other a drink."

"I'll hold you to that, 'XX'," Matthias says.

Matthias - Magic Compass, 2 x Remedies, Conductor Helmet

Holding the items in his hand, Matthias wonders whether the Magic Compass will help him to chose the right paths in the future....

Sensing Purpearl's intent with the shovel, the gnome speaks. "Fire is a more fitting end, Lady Purpearl. It is better that his body be returned to the stuff of creation quickly, than that he might rot or be disturbed by yet another who practices his dark art."

[Chromeknight]

Not to nitpick, but I assume the tricorn and helmet are headwear, the cape is backwear and zelphie's staff is a staff.

Also congrats for tomorrow, which is probably today here.

perhaps this might also be a good time to return items that have been lent out? Alexis, my white cloak and Purpearl my gems and scrolls please.