Rufus

Happy Birthday CGH! Have a great day pal! What she said

Wrong again! But it wasn't me. It was the little voice whispering in my ear

*whispers* I think you're hot I'd like to nominate: Siegourney, Fred Thomas and Diana Mantino please!

Yays! I win! But now I have to do stuff, with no idea what I'm trying to achieve. No pressure, then. Some prize Do I nominate publicly or privately? Can I nominate myself?

Challenge Begin Challenge Complete

It's a DUPLO Educational/Dacta set. Still available on Shop@Home (UK, at least) for £39.99 (these eduactional sets are pricey ). But it's hardly news, and is in no way associated with the Collectable Minifigures.

Vote Tally Mehmet Attabar (Hinckley): 1 vote (Scubacarrot) Jennifer Taylor (Sandy): 7 votes (Eskallon, fhomess, Hinckley, Brickdoctor, ADHO15, Cecilie, CorneliusMurdock) Ophelia Balls (fhomess): 1 vote (KielDaMan) Melaena Stools (CallMePie): 3 votes (def, JimButcher, Sandy) Mellifluous Murgatroyd (Scubacarrot): 2 votes (Professor Flitwick, Zepher)

Are you overwhelmed with awe at the new LEGO Friends line, or do you think it is a blow for Feminism? Who cares? However much you may or may not have been distracted by Friends, it cannot have escaped your notice that there are new CITY sets out, too - and 2012 is one of those years where LEGO CITY eschews the usual Police and Fire sets in favour of some good wholesome civilian stuff. Provided you like vehicles, of course! If you want houses, just swallow your manly pride and go out and buy some Friends Me, I'm a sucker for civilian vehicles. I couldn't wait to get my hands on these new sets, and I thought I'd start with something that I've thought was missing from the LEGO CITY range since 1984's 6694 Car with Camper. Set Information Name: Car & Caravan Number: 4435 Theme: CITY Release Year: 2012 (January) Parts: 218 Minifigures: 2 Price: GBP £14.99 | US $19.99 | DKK 179.95 | EUR 19.99 | CA $24.99 | AU $29.99 Links ... Shop@Home ... Brickshelf ... Bricklink ... Peeron (not yet listed) The Box Click for a high resolution full-frontal I'm getting a bit tired of describing these CITY boxes . The design hasn't changed since 2005. Still, if it ain't broke.... The cover shot is a lovely picture of the set, showing off the car and caravan beautifully. Typical of caravan owners, in blatant disregard of other road users, this driver has simply slewed off the road when the first suitable camp-site appeared, lighting a fire to cook his sausage - the smoke from which will undoubtedly prove hazardous to other drivers. Interstingly, the tower in the sketched background bears a passing resemblance to the clock-tower of Birmingham University. Click for a high resolution image Around the back, insets depict the set's features, modular construction, and HEY! factor - the last scoring 5 on the 'how green is my pullover?' rating system. As expected nowadays, we are informed how the set is divided into modules for 'easy start' - no promises are made as to the ease of middle or end, however. The means by which the caravan opens for play is revealed, and at the bottom right is a superb demonstration of how the dinky little car actually seats both figures. Focusing in on the bottom left of the picture, we see a new and subversive side to LEGO marketing: Collect them all! These are no playground sticker-swapping oddments - they are real, solid LEGO sets that eat up your parents' real, solid cash, kids. Pester at your peril! Interestingly, all five of these consecutively-numbered sets (4435 included) are of a similar size, and occupy the same price point; even their boxes have the same dimensions: Pictured here behind the Car & Caravan are 4432 Recycling Truck and 4431 Ambulance respectively. The expected figure-parade atop the box is embellished with the set's camping paraphernalia - frying pan, sausage, mug and bicycle. The chap appears to be the nth regeneration of Doctor Who, sporting as he does appropriately everyday attire and a Sonic Screwdriver. If the caravan is his Tardis, it unfortunately isn't bigger on the inside. Box Contents The box, on the other hand, is airy and accommodating. Opening with the accustomed thumb-tabs, out fall two poly-bags, one instruction booklet and a small sticker sheet. Both instructions and sticker sheet were mercifully uncrumpled, despite the lack of cardboard backing. Instructions The build may be modular, but only a single instruction manual is necessary. Its cover is identical to the box front... ... except that the suggested age range is absent, and the background graphic has inexplicably shifted to the right. There's nothing too technical about the build. No piece call-outs are required, and the steps are easy to follow, with a few minor sub-builds. The step above shows an interesting use of a 1x2 wall element to avoid the SNOT studs on the rear of the car fender panel Neither is the caravan - the larger of the two modules - too tricky: Note the sticker applied to the 1x4x3 white wall panel - this is supposed to represent a flat-screen TV on the wall of the caravan (it's not a patch on this) . Advertisements for more of the LEGO CITY 2012 'civilian' range grace the rear pages: See what you could do if you had infinite bricks and it was your paid career to assemble such scenes! Facing this, the new 'concept' range - the Forest Police (with bears! ) is revealed in all its glory: Clearly enough CITY police sets exist now to keep the town safe, forcing the criminals to resort to robbing bears for all their money. Or honey. At the rear of the manual, beyond the CITY Forest ( ) range, but before the ubiquitously hideous Raging Demonic WinGagneGewinne Child, lies the Inventory: See Page 1 and Page 2 on Flickr if you're interested. Decal Sticker Sheet The mercifully small sticker sheet contains but six stickers - two decals for the sides of the caravan; three registration plates, suspiciously dissimilar; .... ... and the aforementioned TV screen. At first I thought the caravanners were rather quaintly watching E.T., but it transpires it's some dirt-bike trial on the IMM sports channel This is an interesting 'Easter Egg', perhaps, referring obliquely to one of 4435's sister sets, 4433 Dirt Bike Transporter. Subliminal advertising, anyone? The Parts Mercifully, modular builds mean an easier time arranging parts. Bag 1 builds the figures, the bicycle, the 'fire', the wieners and of course the car. You hardly need the instructions for this module! The modern 4-wide car base is employed again, and the narrower axle-plates mean that the 'standard' LEGO wheels don't stand too ridiculously proud of the car sides, unlike 2007's 7942 Off-Road Fire Rescue Two pieces caught my eye: The large yellow double-convex roof slope - Bricklink succinctly calls it, 'Wedge 6 x 4 x 2/3 Quad Curved' - is essentially two of these back-to-back, thought the contouring is slightly different (look closely at the corners, which are rounder). It is new this year, and unique to this set in yellow, but appears in white in these sets. The other 1x4 symmetrical bow was new to me, but despite only being released in 2011 already appears, in a variety of colours, in 20 sets. Bag 2 is far larger and contains the caravan. The part selection is rather conservative ... ... as is the colour palette, which would for the most part look at home in a typical Star Wars set. The Figures Introducing John and Olivia. (If they had a dog, I'd have a strong compulsion to call him Newton.) Neither look especially happy, but then they are going caravanning. John is not especially exciting - his torso appeared in 2010's CITY Advent Calendar and Public Transportation sets, not to mention last year's modular Pet Shop. Olivia, on the other hand, has a brand new - and unique - torso! Dastan's hair in dark tan quite suits her, too John's sweater, and Olivia's curves, continue round the back: Neither leg pieces have any printing, unfortunately Well... and just because everyone's doing it... let's see how these wierdo System figures compare to the beloved Friends range They're so short and stocky John has Peter's hair in dark brown. Early on, we also build the set's few accessories: a bicycle, the simplest campfire ever... ... and John pulls out his wiener. Olivia is more interested in her own She takes it with her wherever she goes, even by bike: These bicycles have been around since 1985, but they still look great The Car Built around a standard 4-wide vehicle base, the car is a simple build, but curves are intelligently employed to give her a smooth and sporty look. I was unsure about the wisdom of the dark bluish grey stripe along the side, but I've grown used to it, and I think it works . It certainly helps to break up the yellow. I really appreciate the way the profile builds from a low front to the bulky rear, giving her a realistic wedge-shape. I'm not so keen on the blue windows, which are just too Police for me. Why could we have had trans-black? The simplistic front end looks a bit bland with that 4x1 double curve. This would of course be improved had I applied the stickers. The hinge pieces work well as little wing mirrors The rear looks a little odd, and again rather plain without the sticker. Its simplicity belies the interesting technique used to tidy up the rear fender piece - see the instructions picture above, or here. This rear-oblique view is much nicer : You get to see the lovely new roof-piece in action, and notice how the plate and tile combo overhanging the rear resembles a spoiler. The dinky size of the car disguises a sizeable interior, seen clearly when the roof is removed: Perhaps the car is the Doctor's Tardis? I'm not sure what the rear grille tile is for. Note the use of wall panels and cheese wedges to give room for minifigure arms... ... and both John and Olivia can sit in relative comfort: Saves one of them rattling around in the caravan, I suppose. A note on the colour: yellow is rather an obvious choice, and we've had quite a few yellow CITY vehicles recently. It brightens up the set, and looks good, and heaven knows LEGO produce few enough civilian cars anyway; but I'd rather perhaps have had a green car or something a bit different. Maybe I'm just influenced by the plethora of yellow vehicles cluttering our house: Above is the latest CREATOR car, and a shameless plug for my 7-wide four-seater The Caravan Building the caravan is still relatively straight-forward, but it's a much more involved and interesting build than the car. The result is purposeful, and smart, with grille-bricks adding detail and dark red and bluish grey stripes emphasising the lines. In profile, we can see how the smoothly streamlined front end blends into a rather boxy rear. Two hinge-plates give a clue as to how the caravan will open; note also how the 'stand' - a single clippy-plate attached SNOT to the tow-bar - doesn't rest on the ground; we'll see the impact of this shortly. Front-on, the low-set window looks a little odd, and I'm not a big fan of the arch-brick behind it. Personally, I'd rather the arch were replaced with columns of 1x1s; surely the big window should let as much light in as possible? The boxy rear, replete with Sonic Screwdriver, reveals another minor flaw: despite my best efforts, I could get the opening side of the caravan to close properly - there remains a little yet rather annoying gap. The rear really comes to life when the bicycle is attached: Suddenly its square dullness becomes a meaningful play feature! Though if I'd designed it, I'd have put a window on the Sonic-Screwdriver half of the rear (yes, I know it's meant to be a torch, but they why clip it to the back of the caravan? ) Now we get to open the magic box. The latching mechanism is clever, even if it doesn't work perfectly: A 1x2 plate with arm is hidden under the 2x2 dark bley dish; when the caravan is closed, it clips between the studs on the white plate that forms the roof of the opening section. Neat! When closed, this and the grille tile resemble air-conditioning or ventilation. The 'door' of the caravan opens a full 180 degrees; however, there's a problem. I've deliberately left the studio line in this picture to emphasise this point: with the door fully open, it weighs the front of the caravan down; since the 'stand' doesn't reach the ground, the whole caravan leans forward. On the plus side, clips on the interior allow all the accessories (two mugs and a frying pan) to be secured for transit. No rattling around on the journey! (Except for the sausages ) Here's another neat feature. What use would a caravan be without somewhere to sleep? The front end features a dark red mostly-tiled plate that represents a bed (and there's a 'pillow' to prove it. I'm not so keen on their choice of bed linen colours though). But wait... only one pillow? Where's Olivia going to sleep? Perhaps they do shifts, or perhaps Olivia is content staying up with her sausage. Happily, there is a solution, though it's not clear if the designer intended it. Hidden in the substructure underneath the dark red plate are two more of these red 'pillow' pieces, one of which is not visible from the exterior and serves no other clear purpose, so they can sleep happily together . Not that you can easily fit two figures side-by-side here, because of that blasted arch. The main living area consists of two yellow chairs recessed into the floor, and the least convincing LEGO table I've ever seen . The design here is a little questionable: recessing the chairs into the floor provides necessary headroom, but exposes the dark bley wheel arch bricks, which next to the white looks untidy. Behind the chairs is a black 2x2 jumper plate which I guess represents a cooker. It's a little difficult to use, given the chairs are in the way: And that, save the absent Trail Bike TV sticker, is the extent of the caravan's features. Personally, if I were to design a LEGO caravan (I made one in LDD once, but after the program upgrade the file won't load ) I would have built in more kitcheny features - some cupboards and an oven, even if it made the interior a little cramped. While we're at it, I'd have preferred a proper door on the side of a caravan, with a roof that lifts off. Sure, the opening side allows easy play access to the interior, but I would favour a little realism here, personnally. For Americans and other non-caravanning types (apologies if I'm selling anyone short here, although I'm far from proud of my country's caravanning heritage), here is what a modern caravan looks like: Apologies to LeisureTimes Limited and Compass Caravans for borrowing their picture, but I'm sure they will appreciate the plug. The Complete Set Bags packed? Utensils on board? Sausages stowed? Kitchen sink? We're ready to go and spend a rain-soaked public holiday weekend stuck in traffic! Woo-hoo! With car and caravan coupled, we can finally enjoy this set in all its civilian glory. Interestingly, I find my overriding impression is that the designer has gone for an aesthetic that is smart sobriety rather than cute jollity. Observe the dark red and grey stripes of the caravan and its overall boxy shape: the result is rather masculine. I wonder if this is deliberate attempt to appeal to the usual LEGO fanbase - boys - now that girls have a theme of their own. If true, I personally find this rather disappointing. What do you think? Discuss! In contrast, the car is colourful and curvy, whilst maintaining a sporty appeal. Seen in profile, the convoy is nicely streamlined: I mentioned this with regard to the car, but it deserves repeating here in the context of the whole set: I do not like the blue windows. It's bad enough that every Police and Fire set has to have blue-tinted windscreens, but here they should have stuck to trans-black, or even clear. Sure, the blue does add a splash of colour to the otherwise sober livery of the caravan, but in my opinion it would have been better to use a neutral colour for the transparent parts, and brighter colours for the stripes and accents. Take a moment to consider 4435's immediate 'ancestor', 2009's 7639 Camper: Picture from Brickset and here in comparison to the set: 7639's colour scheme does for the set what I wish 4435's had done. The lime green accents contrast nicely with the white body and black windows, and, with the curves of the roof at the front and sides, give the set a cuteness that I think would appeal to boys and girls equally; 4435's achieves the opposite. To me, the juxtaposition of these two sets says, 'Camping is FUN!!! Yes, but Caravanning is SERIOUS.' Conclusion Don't get me wrong, I do like this set. It is a wonderful representation of a common and popular (in Europe, at least) holiday hobby; it is modern, for the most part aesthetically pleasing, and fills a niche in the LEGO CITY line-up. I think the designers could have done more, in terms of features; and, if the choice of colour scheme was in anyway intended to influence consumer appeal, then I think this might have been a mistake. But what do I know? Perhaps LEGO's extensive market research had found that the Camper didn't sell because of its cutesiness. Anyhoo, let's get back to what this set is really about. It's a civvy set! Yay! We have a new couple to populate our crime-ridden city (and perhaps occupy one of the many vacant CREATOR houses ), an attractive car, which actually seats two, and a caravan offering something for John and Olivia to do at weekends. Perhaps they can motor off to the woods to meet the Forest Rangers (but hopefully not the criminals or grizzlies nearby)? Maybe they can cycle to work to reduce their carbon footprint (having given the Forest Fire Brigade something to do, with that campfire). Whatever they do, I just hope it's something that makes them happy Design & Build 7 An attractive set, if a little serious for what should represent a happy holiday experience, which could have been corrected with a simple change of colour scheme. Despite its small part count, the car achieves a sporty appeal and has the added bonus of seating two; the caravan features an ingenious latch mechanism, but is marred by a few minor niggles in its design (that arch, for a start). Parts 6 A decidedly average part selection is brightened only by the new roof piece. Here, again, the blue windows are a disappointment - I personally would find trans-black or clear far more useful. Dark red is becoming more common these days; a few tiles here are not unwelcome. Figures 7 Any set which isn't packed to the gills with innumerable identical uniforms gets an extra point! Olivia's new, attractive, and useful torso is the only highlight here. Playability 8 The set's strongest feature. As a stand-alone or starter set, there's lots to do, with car and bicycle as transport, or the caravan and campfire as a play focus; it will integrate well with an existing CITY layout (provided the figures can find somewhere to live), and a car is always welcome amongst the myriad trucks that LEGO seems to want us to fill our cities with. Value 9 You do actually get a lot for your money here. Of the five equally-priced sets in this 'Collect them all!' mini-range, only 4434 Dump Truck has a larger part count; and only 4433 Dirt Bike Transporter has (arguably) more in the way of playability. The whole range looks pretty good to me Overall 74% My score 7/10 I set out to buy this set first of the new range. I find my self a little disappointed. Do I regret buying it? By no means, but I feel it could have been so much more. Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed the review Rufus My flickr Photoset 7639 Camper Review by Macoco

Think you have what it takes to be a building Wizard? Head on over to the Licensed Forum and help us build Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!

Vote Tally Mehmet Attabar (Hinckley): 1 votes (Sandy) Roger Goodenarde (Professor Flitwick): 1 votes (Scubacarrot) Jennifer Taylor (Sandy): 9 votes (Eskallon, def, fhomess, Hinckley, JimButcher, Zepher, Brickdoctor, ADHO15, Cecilie) Ophelia Balls (fhomess): 1 vote (KielDaMan)

INTERLUDE Lunchtime arrives. Mehmet has cooked up a special treat for the party. 'Fish biscuits! Get yer fish biscuits!' he shouts. 'How did he get fish in the desert?' someone wonders. Ossie and Is are surprised to find no-one haranguing them today. They are forced instead to talk to Roger Workman. 'What do you think, Roger?' asks Ossie. 'Do you think it was fair to reveal the Win Conditions? Hello?' Roger keeps his counsel. Instead, Is replies. 'Well, they still don't know how many Virgins the Cultists need to sacrifice...' 'FOUR!' shouts someone. 'Don't be silly,' says Is. 'Four would be a crazy number - the game would be over in no time -' 'FORE!' shouts Roger Goodenarde... ... before sending a golf ball hurtling across the canyon. ' They're playing golf,' mutters Ossie. 'Don't they realise their predicament?' 'Well, golf is a way to relax, I suppose,' replies Is. 'provided they play as a team, and play by the rules, and don't stand in the middle of the ...' THUNK!! '... fairway.' You may now vote. You have 48 hours to decide on a sacrifice.

Samantha Cole here and ready for the challenge!

*shakes fist*

It is a dubious accolade, having the longest Day One thread in EB Mafia history

Day One Conclusion Evening draws in, and shadows lengthen in the Valley of IMHOTEP. 'My goodness! They've been arguing all day!! And I don't have any nails left to bite!' 'Yeah, well, that was the whole "allowing them unlimited unvotes" thing and "person with most votes gets sacrificed" thing. Who's crazy ideas were they???' 'Anyhoo, looks like a decision has been reached....' Patrick Fitzwilliam is quickly in the firing line. 'You can't lynch me!' he shouts. 'I'm the towniest of the town!' 'Well, it's not really a town, is it,' murmurs the crowd. 'More of a camp, really' 'Then I'm the campiest of the camp!' he minces. One by one, other members of the party are drawn into the fray. Penelope Farago, Roger Goodenarde, and Hugh Janus all plead their case, until finally the party settles on Ishaq Ettaq. Ishaq climbs the steps, slowly, sadly, and unwillingly... Until suddenly, Father Tomato leaps up and pushes him aside. He proclaims, 'If I say but one thing, all day, it's this:' '.....' 'And I mean it!' As the sun sets behind the rocks, light spills out of the statue. Night falls. Father Tomato, without looking back, enters, and is no more. Please get your night actions to us as soon as possible We're going out for a drink ... and dinner

Final Vote Tally Ishaq Ettaq (Wuntin): 2 votes (ADHO15, Professor Flitwick) Penelope Farago (Waterbrick Down): 2 votes (TinyPiesRUs, Zepher) Fr Thomas Thomson (Ricecracker): 10 votes (Waterbrick Down, Hinckley, Tamamono, CallMePie, Rick, Brickdoctor, Scubacarrot, Eskallon, CorneliusMurdock, Wuntin) Jennifer Taylor (Sandy): 2 votes (Cecilie, fhomess) Hugh Janus (Eskallon): 7 votes (WhiteFang, KielDaMan, 5 penalty votes) Patrick Fitzwilliam (def): 2 votes (JimButcher, Sandy) Father Thomas 'Tomato' Thomson (Ricecracker) will be sacrificed. A conclusion will be posted shortly.

Vote Tally Ishaq Ettaq (Wuntin): 2 votes (ADHO15, Professor Flitwick) Penelope Farago (Waterbrick Down): 2 votes (TinyPiesRUs, Zepher) Fr Thomas Thomson (Ricecracker): 10 votes (Waterbrick Down, Hinckley, Tamamono, CallMePie, Rick, Brickdoctor, Scubacarrot, Eskallon, CorneliusMurdock, Wuntin) Jennifer Taylor (Sandy): 2 votes (Cecilie, fhomess) Hugh Janus (Eskallon): 7 votes (WhiteFang, KielDaMan, 5 penalty votes) Patrick Fitzwilliam (def): 2 votes (JimButcher, Sandy)

Vote Tally Ophelia Balls (fhomess): 1 vote (Professor Flitwick) Ishaq Ettaq (Wuntin): 1 vote (ADHO15) Roger Goodenarde (Professor Flitwick): 4 votes (Scubacarrot, Brickdoctor, Tamamono, WhiteFang) Penelope Farago (Waterbrick Down): 4 votes (TinyPiesRUs, Zepher, def, KielDaMan) Fr Thomas Thomson (Ricecracker): 1 vote (Waterbrick Down) Gordon Bennett (KielDaMan): 1 vote (Fugazi) Jennifer Taylor (Sandy): 2 votes (Cecilie, fhomess) Patrick Fitzwilliam (def): 3 votes (CallMePieOrDie, JimButcher, Sandy) Four hours remain of Day One.

Vote Tally Ophelia Balls (fhomess): 1 vote (Professor Flitwick) Ishaq Ettaq (Wuntin): 1 vote (ADHO15) Roger Goodenarde (Professor Flitwick): 4 votes (Scubacarrot, Brickdoctor, CorneliusMurdock, Tamamono) Penelope Farago (Waterbrick Down): 4 votes (TinyPiesRUs, Zepher, KielDaMan, Sandy) Fr Thomas Thomson (Ricecracker): 1 vote (Waterbrick Down) Gordon Bennett (KielDaMan): 1 vote (Fugazi) Jennifer Taylor (Sandy): 1 vote (Cecilie) Hugh Janus (Eskallon): 1 vote (def) Patrick Fitzwilliam (def): 5 votes (Hinckley, Eskallon, Wuntin, CallMePieOrDie, JimButcher)

Vote Tally Toulouse LePlot (WhiteFang) 1 (JimButcher) Ophelia Balls (fhomess) 2 (Professor Flitwick, CallMePieOrDie) Ishaq Ettaq (Wuntin) 1 (ADHO15) Roger Goodenarde (Professor Flitwick) 4 (Scubacarrot, Brickdoctor, CorneliusMurdock, Tamamono) Penelope Farago (Waterbrick Down) 4 (TinyPiesRUs, Zepher, KielDaMan, Sandy) Fr Thomas Thomson (Ricecracker) 1 (Waterbrick Down) Gordon Bennett (KielDaMan) 1 (Fugazi) Jennifer Taylor (Sandy) 1 (Cecilie) Hugh Janus (Eskallon) 1 (def) Patrick Fitzwilliam (def) 1 (Hinckley) 24 hours remain of Day One.

Vote Tally Toulouse LePlot (WhiteFang) 2 (fhomess, Sandy) Ophelia Balls (fhomess) 1 (Professor Flitwick) Ishaq Ettaq (Wuntin) 1 (ADHO15) Roger Goodenarde (Professor Flitwick) 1 (Scubacarrot)

INTERLUDE Everything Happens for a Reason The crowd heatedly discusses the upcoming sacrifice, and whom the Cultists among them might try to 'any', whatever that may mean. Patrick and Mehmet get embroiled in a mass debating session. The people approach Ossie and Is. 'What's going on?' someone yells. 'Don't make us do any thinking for ourselves!' screams another. 'What are the Cultists trying to achieve?' asks a third. Ossie turns to the crowd. 'How should we know? We're not Cultists.' 'We had that Cult of Goat Surprisers up here last month,' shrugs Is. 'As it turned out, all they had to do was surprise a few goats.' Ossie nods. 'Good times. If a little noisy. And smelly.' ----------------------------- You may now vote. You have 48 hours.

Thank you It is that baseplate, but it's from the PQ Pyramid set (same part).

Thanks everybody for confirming so quickly. We hope to have Day 1 up in the next few hours or so.

Saqqara, Egypt, 1936.... After days of wandering through the hot and shimmering desert, the group finally catch a glimpse of a wide canyon and .... what is that? A large and foreboding statue! Could this be what they have been searching for all this time? Could this be the long forgotten statue of the great god IMHOTEP? Unable to contain their excitement and enthusiasm, the group rush to find a way down. An ancient, rickety ropebridge affords them access ... ... and soon everyone has reached the canyon floor. As the last member of the group places their foot on the ground, a fearsome sandstorm blows in. The wind blows and the sand whips around them obscuring their view, but leaving them unscathed, as if they are protected by a magical force. At the height of the storm an unspecified number of dark-robed figures can just about be made out in front of the grand statue, and faint but ominous chanting can be heard above the roar of the wind. The earth rumbles and tremors, and distant rockfall can be heard, the chanting becomes more urgent and eager until... "I AM AWAKENED!" A great voice booms across the canyon and echoes all around the mostly terrified group. There is a sense of movement, as if people are re-joining the group. Soon after, the wind dies down and the sand gently wafts away leaving the air as bright and clear as it had been not that long ago. In the clear air the group look around themselves, confused. The ropebridge which had been their only access is destroyed, but there's a bright camp visible with signs of movement. Resigned to needing to find somewhere to rest, the group wander over to the pair of figures. "Oh for....... It's only gone and happened again. Why can't they just leave the damn statue alone? " "I'll put the kettle on; we're clearly going to need more tea. " The group wander over, in hopes of finding some answers to the strange goings-on, and possibly some breakfast. "Well, I'm Ossie, and this is Is. You'd best introduce yourselves and check you're all here..." The Players We will say this once and once only. The characters were written before assigning players, and before assigning alignments. All assignments are entirely random. Information here is for fun; any assumptions are made at your own risk. The Great God IMHOTEP (NPC) Do not upset him. Address him correctly or face the consequences. You have been warned. The Guardians – Ossie and Is (Rufus and Pandora - NPCs) They are a young couple who appear to live as hermits in the middle of the Egyptian desert. Whilst not unwelcoming to the expedition party, they still very much value their “alone time” for….. playing scrabble and whatnot. Sheila Suxsumb - Played by Tamamono Sheila is a curator at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York city and is a world - renowned expert in ancient Egyptian artefacts. A hard-nosed New Yorker, and a woman flying high in a man’s world, Sheila speaks as she finds and gets what she wants. She’s tentatively starting a relationship with her assistant, Johnson, but she’s not ready to take his Cox yet. Johnson Cox - Played by Cecilie Johnson is Ms Suxsumb’s assistant from the New York Met and he himself is becoming well know in the field of translation and interpretation of hieroglyphs. He hails originally from the deep south, Louisiana to be exact, and so tends to be more laid back than his boss from the Big Apple. He’s just starting a relationship with his boss, Sheila, and one day hopes to make her Suxsumb-Cox. Ophelia Balls - Played by fhomess Ophelia is a member of the Royal Geographic Society in London, and is present on this expedition as a Mineralogist. She is a shy and retiring, somewhat sweet girl, know to be very studious in her nature. She produces report after report on clays and crystals, that while being completely ahead of their time in research, sadly no-one ever reads. Hans Gubernaculum - Played by badboytje88 Bob_ (Bob replaced badboy Day Two) Hans is a Professor of Egyptology at the Aegyptisches Museum in Berlin. He is one of the leading lights in ancient Egyptian architecture and has previously discovered numerous fruitful sites for archaeological digs. Unexpectedly he is exact and precise in all that he does, and he abhors sloppiness and untidiness. Melaena Stools - Played by CallMePie Melaena is a poet who has accompanied the party in hopes of finding inspiration for her flowery and insipid verses. She is forever an optimist, and her lack of creative skill is surpassed only by her complete absence of insight into her own inability to produce anything displaying a mote of talent. She is a friendly and happy person who believes people adore her and her poems. Mellifluous Murgatroyd - Played by Scubacarrot Mellifluous is a journalist for the Edinburgh Times, here to report first hand on the great discoveries that may be made during the expedition. She’s sweet, yet determined, and often uses her honeyed words to get her own way. Her articles are often more sensational than they are factual, and thus they garner a lot of attention worldwide. Jennifer Taylor - Played by Sandy Jenny is a seasoned explorer and treasure hunter. She travels the world in search of artefacts to sell on to museums for the highest price possible. When she heard about this expedition, she knew she had to be a part of it. She has a shapely figure and often uses this to her advantage. She has treasure in her chest. Nicholas Hoare - Played by Fugazi Nicholas is a young man with a bit of family wealth behind him who fancies himself as an adventurer. Despite being socially awkward, his dream was to join the expedition, find some valuable artefacts and return home with enough stories of derring-do to impress the girls. One day, one of them might listen... Penelope Farago - Played by Waterbrick Down Penny is a serious scholar of Egyptian art who originates from Pisa in Italy, but currently works at the Musée du Louvre in Paris. She is passionate about art, and Egyptian art in particular, and has devoted much of her life to its study and appreciation. Despite her serious nature, she dresses somewhat flamboyantly and is known to be very descriptive in her language. Betty Swallocks - Played by TinyPies Betty thought she was going on holiday to the south of France, but somehow ended up here. She has no idea what archaeology even means, let alone where Egypt is. She often gets confused or muddles things up and wanders around in her own little world. Roger Goodenarde - Played by Professor Flitwick Roger is really just here for a bally good time, what, what. He’s an ineffectual ex-army Captain who had to give up the soldier’s life after taking a bullet in the knee. In the army he was known to be rather oblivious to all going on around him and despite thinking he was entirely in control of his regiment, in fact his long-suffering Lieutenant had to devote considerable effort to ensure the Captain didn’t mistakenly tap his pipe out on an unexploded bomb. Patrick Fitzwilliam - Played by def Patrick is well renowned for his ability to organise expeditions and he was the natural choice when the leading lights of Egyptology declared an interest in exploring this part of the desert. Having organised so many expeditions before, he is rugged, dashing and masterful, and knows how to get his hands on the things he needs, by whatever means necessary. William Fitzpatrick - Played by CorneliusMurdock It would be foolish to venture into the wilds of the desert without someone who knows how to handle the business end of a weapon. That someone is William Fitzpatrick; skilled as a big game hunter, he’s here to tackle any aggressive creatures of the desert, or handle trouble with the locals. He’s loud, brash and aggressive, but on Friday nights he might have been spotted in the Pink Pussycat Club in Berlin wearing not much more than a feather boa and a pair of high-heels. Hugh Janus - Played by Eskallon Hugh is the long-suffering Lieutenant who served under Captain Goodenarde. A military career composed of numerous close shaves thanks to his Captain’s ineptitude have wrought this poor man’s nerves, leaving him a gibbering shell of his former self. Where Captain Goodenarde goes, Lieutenant Janus knows he must follow. And be on the lookout for trouble. Aloysius - Played by ADHO15 Aloysius is a camel. A talking camel. No, really, they exist. Aloysius has been carting other people’s stuff around the desert for more years than he can remember, but it gets him out into the fresh air and allows him to meet people and show off his collection of hats. He doesn’t usually let on that he’s a talking camel, but in these unusual circumstances he has no choice but to speak up and make himself heard. Gordon Bennett - Played by KielDaMan Gordon is the engineer of the group and works hard to keep any and all of the transported equipment finely tuned. He’s found the best way to fine tune machinery is to cover it in oil and then hit it a lot. As a result he, and everything around him, tends to end up messy. This isn’t helped by his tendency to be a little “oily” with the ladies and has earned him a slapped face on a number of occasions. Toulouse Leplot - Played by WhiteFang Toulouse is Ms Farago’s assistant from the Musee du Louvre and is almost as passionate about art as she is. He would be considerably more passionate about it if she didn’t keep sending him out for croissants and cream cakes every few hours. He works hard and spends his time relaxing by playing the violin. Unfortunately his boss’s opinion of his violin playing is that a strangled cat would be more musical and so he has not brought his violin with him. As a result, he is often tense and somewhat irritable. Percy Pantwitter - Played by Rick Percy is also a well known scholar of Egyptology at the Aegyptisches Museum in Berlin, and is forever in the shadow of the great Hans Gubernaculum. He is a petty man who delights in small victories, for instance snagging the last sausage at breakfast, but he is devoted to his studies and always strives to better himself. Father Thomas “Tomato” Thomson - Played by Ricecracker Fr Thomas Thomson is a missionary minister who has been called “Tomato” since a young age thanks to his shock of bright red hair and the unimaginative way his parents named him. Apparently, this doesn’t bother him, and he will protest as much often and repeatedly to anyone who’ll listen. He accompanies the group in the hopes of preaching and converting others to his faith. Mehmet Attabar - Played by Hinckley Mehmet is an expert cook and knows how to make the supplies last a long way. His signature dish, Spicy Scorpion Fritters has fast become a favourite of the group’s, probably because they think it’s chicken. Like most cooks, he’s a big jolly man, often seen with a cleaver in his hand. Ishaq Ettaq - Played by Wuntin Ishaq is a suave and cool guy, who’s dealt with explorers on a number of occasions in other parts of his Egypt. He’s a warm and friendly person, but he sure knows how to squeeze the most cash out of these crazy Westerners. That said, he’ll do anything for the right price. Mustafa Nidia - Played by Brickdoctor Mustafa is a beaurocrat from the Egyptian Ministry for the Interior. He usually sits behind a desk in an air-conditioned office filling out forms. He is here to oversee the expedition, at least that’s how he sees it. The rest of the group view him as officious and self-important and little more than a pen-pusher. His job is to ensure that no artefacts are removed from the dig without the correct accompanying documentation. In triplicate. Ahmed Apu - Played by Zepher Ahmed is an adolescent from the local village who is looking for some honest work. He’s happy to fetch and carry for the good rates that Ishaq Ettaq has secured for the locals. He carries heavy loads with ease, and wonders why on earth this lot can’t just carry it themselves. He’s happy to be part of such a colourful group of people, despite his inexplicable hatred of the colour pink. Nadir Zenith - Played by JimButcher Nadir is a very serious man. He takes his responsibilities seriously, including mucking out the camel. He is depressingly pessimistic about everything around him, and has the most irritating habit of always referring to himself in the third person. Apologies to anyone we haven't picked. Thank you for your interest and enthusiasm! With 24 slots, we couldn't pick everyone Reserves Bob_ zakura VolcanicPanik Day One - Everything Happens for a Reason Day Two - Dude... you got... Tomato on you Day Three - Use of Weapons Day Four - Your mother warned you there'd be days like these... Day Five - Without a Paddle Day Six - Unlucky for Some Day Seven - On Thin Ice Conclusion - We Swallow Gods *Disclaimer Any resemblances to characters, real or fictional, or Ancient Egyptians, living, dead, or undead, are purely coincidental.